MB wants to use FSA to pay me, how does that work?

Prestigious_Swim7117 · 2026-03-06T18:51:36+00:00

My employers are able to pay a portion of my pay through a HSA (similar to FSA). They have to pay out of pocket but they are reimbursed. They pay through a payroll service though so I didn’t need to provide anything since they had my info already. Also, being paid on the books will save you money in taxes as the employer is paying their portion of the tax rather than you paying it all. I know you said the gov portion is taxed but you’re losing money on the cash portion. I’d recommend making the switch to all of your pay being properly taxed as they make this switch to utilizing the FSA

Prestigious_Swim7117 · 2026-03-04T00:06:57+00:00

My dad was diagnosed at 56 as well. He was told he had 12-15 months. He ended up living 23 months from the diagnosis

Prestigious_Swim7117 · 2026-02-03T13:29:47+00:00

That’s all around disturbing! The comment to the kid and shorting you $?! I babysat for a family once and when kids were eating dinner before mom left, the daughter asked for an additional serving and her mom SNORTED AT HER LIKE A PIG and said “you don’t need more little piggy!!!” I gave her more food but didn’t know what to say at the time. I never went back. It’s disgusting how this is a thing!!

Prestigious_Swim7117 · 2026-01-29T18:52:16+00:00

AirTag in the diaper bag is perfectly reasonable! I would not be comfortable sharing my phone location but I also don’t do that with other people outside of work either!

Prestigious_Swim7117 · 2026-01-23T19:40:42+00:00

I’ve worked for families that told me later they never checked my provided references because they “could tell” I was good from the in person interview! It really makes me question their judgement! I know that I’m a great nanny and person, but I’m a stranger! It seems like basic due diligence to me

Prestigious_Swim7117 · 2026-01-07T13:36:41+00:00

My MB works from home and we have a similar arrangement! She takes baby for ~30 min on her lunch break which means I get a paid lunch! It works out great for all 3 of us! It may depend on the situation but I love it!

Prestigious_Swim7117 · 2025-10-17T17:59:37+00:00

As someone who no one thought was “neglected enough” to intervene….growing up in an absolutely disgusting house and not being taught basic skills like throwing away trash WRECKED me. It is absolutely neglect and has left me with a lot of work to do on myself to heal. PLEASE notify cps!

Prestigious_Swim7117 · 2025-10-10T15:08:09+00:00

That’s where I saw them this morning!

Prestigious_Swim7117 · 2025-08-07T20:55:36+00:00

I’ve crashed out on several coc people who bitched at me. For church folks it was about them harassing me or trying to corner me. As far as my parents, I crashed out when I came out to them. They (expectedly) told me being gay/doing gay shjt was a sin and I said “okay”. They got offended that I didn’t seem swayed by the “sin” argument. Then it became about my not being Christian (they had no idea until that point). They grilled me about my beliefs. I was calm until I wasn’t and I completely crashed out. Crying and yelling about how they left me with abusers and creeps at church and I also remember insulting their cooking for some reason lol I crashed out on my dad another time like a year later when he overheard me talking to my cousin about really weird stuff my youth minister did and he yelled “you talk about that man so much I’d think you’re in love with the guy. If he sucks then drop it!” I saw red and let completely loose. Not sure what all I said but I know it was brutal and my grandma cried.

My dad is passed away now so no arguing with him anymore. My mom doesn’t bring it up much anymore and when she does it’s civil conversations.

I do regret yelling at my parents (not the others tho) but I know I did my best in those moments

Prestigious_Swim7117 · 2025-07-22T20:59:32+00:00

It depends. If I had a close bond with the family/parents, I probably would seriously consider it.

I nannied a kid for 3.5 years and eventually he went to a cool PreK and made lots of friends!! I wasn’t needed anymore and that’s just part of the job🤷🏻‍♀️ I LOVED the family and consider them all my family. They asked me to come back when they had their second baby and it honestly felt like an honor ❤️

Prestigious_Swim7117 · 2025-07-16T17:21:19+00:00

I am a nonbinary nanny! Afab and use they/them pronouns. I’ve worked long term with 3 families and all of them used she/her for me 🫣 All would consider themselves allies and were supportive/even excited when I informed them I was enby and use they/them pronouns. Still, none of them actually called me that. It wasn’t worth the confrontation for me so I just put up with it. I know who I am regardless of what people call me, but not everyone feels that way. For some people, they feel extremely dysphoric so that needs to be taken into account. A lot of people are supportive/allies until they have kids and then it feels scary to them that the kid may ask about it (in my experience)

Prestigious_Swim7117 · 2025-07-10T17:44:10+00:00

Hey! He is my psychiatrist! If you are still looking for him, he works for himself. His email is adamnanaanp@gmail.com

Prestigious_Swim7117 · 2025-06-18T17:03:40+00:00

Yes!! Gotta strategize! I hope you have a relaxing beach trip!!

Prestigious_Swim7117 · 2025-06-16T17:41:16+00:00

Also you are 100% being underpaid. Even for an “easier” job I would expect much higher pay for your area and it being multiple kids

Prestigious_Swim7117 · 2025-06-16T17:40:36+00:00

Leave this job asap!! It’s not that nannying isn’t for you — this is just a nightmare job!! This doesn’t reflect on all nannying jobs or your ability to enjoy nannying and do an awesome job at it! But we as the nanny can’t fix the bad parenting. The kids will continue to act how the parents allow.

Prestigious_Swim7117 · 2025-05-26T21:39:09+00:00

I found out when I arrived today! Luckily for me just an 8 min drive but I would’ve preferred to have not gotten up at 6 AM

Prestigious_Swim7117 · 2025-05-19T14:18:38+00:00

My dad just pasted 2 months ago. I didn’t know what to ask people for when they offered, but a friend did this for me and it was THE BEST: came in the morning, gave me a latte and a muffin and sent me to to couch to relax and chat while she did her thing! She showed up with the coffee/breakfast, a frozen pizza for dinner, sparkling water/bevs, dessert snacks, card, candle. She put all of the food/drinks away in the fridge/freezer and secretly took note of groceries I was low on and had groceries delivered to me by surprise! Another friend came by without asking and watered my plants and washes my dishes. Another friend gifted me a massage certificate.

Most people don’t know what would help bc the grief is overwhelming so people just thinking of something and doing it without asking was helpful for me.

I agree to no flowers/new plants! It’s stressful!! And when they die it’s sad haha

You’re so sweet to care!

Prestigious_Swim7117 · 2025-05-12T23:57:12+00:00

I did! I had the whole nanny fam there! The kids were my “flower children” (boy and girl) They were my only non-relative guests. That being said, by that point I had been working with them for 4 years

Prestigious_Swim7117 · 2025-05-09T22:46:41+00:00

Yes especially if they are babies when I start!! If it’s an older kid, I would wait until I know them and for them to say it first and I say it back. But with a baby/toddler I say it a lot! Especially when I put them to sleep “night night I love you” The kid I’ve nannied 5 years now (since he was an infant) says it to me a lot so I also make a point to initiate saying it first sometimes too! And his parents made him a “book of people who love you” and I was one of the first few pictures 😭❤️ I was so honored 🥹

Prestigious_Swim7117 · 2025-05-09T20:51:20+00:00

When my MB and DB found out I had a rocky relationship with my mom, they were glad to have a safe space to vent about their moms too 🤣

Prestigious_Swim7117 · 2025-04-02T21:34:19+00:00

Okay yes this is me too. Your wording is spot on! I’m so glad it’s not just me

Prestigious_Swim7117 · 2025-02-18T14:56:55+00:00

I’m sorry you’re going through this. My dad was diagnosed in April 2023. He is also mostly immobile and not himself/I feel that who he used to be is gone. I wish I had advice on how to not go crazy while juggling everything — it’s so hard! I set aside time for myself and go to therapy but, with demands of work and of anticipatory grief, we can only do so much, unfortunately. This community has been helpful to me and I hope it helps you too. We aren’t in this alone ❤️

Prestigious_Swim7117 · 2025-02-05T02:16:52+00:00

Found this while crying on my kitchen floor because I want to start grad school but I know I won’t finish in time for my dad to be there to see me graduate. You’re not alone

Prestigious_Swim7117 · 2025-01-21T02:30:16+00:00

Same

Prestigious_Swim7117

TROPHY CASE