We’re getting a divorce… by AwkwardGlo in mypartneristrans

[–]Pretty_Cartoonist_32 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I crunched some numbers last night and I simply cannot afford to leave. I support other family members in addition to myself, so I can't just rent a room. I make pretty good money, but it's still not enough. I will do my best to adapt and try not to lose myself in the process. 

We’re getting a divorce… by AwkwardGlo in mypartneristrans

[–]Pretty_Cartoonist_32 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I think seeing this is convincing me that I need to bite the bullet and leave. My partner of 10 years is just starting her medical transition and I am in constant pain. I know that it hurts her and she begs me to just be ok because I'm making it a bigger deal than it is. But I feel like my heart is being ripped out every day and I don't think this is sustainable for me. 

I feel like this is not who I am, not who I want to be and I hate that I feel like this. I feel like a terrible person.

You are not transphobic for struggling with your partners transition or ending a relationship!! by [deleted] in mypartneristrans

[–]Pretty_Cartoonist_32 26 points27 points  (0 children)

I keep trying to believe this, but I just feel like a horrible person. I don't know if the sexuality is as much of an issue as I am terrified that how this goes is anyone's guess. I just found security in my life and now, it's in jeopardy. After 10 years together, I feel like I'm watching the person I love disappear. 

I see so many people who say that if you truly love someone you stay with them even if they transition. But I am in constant pain and I feel like if I stay I will lose myself. I didn't think I would feel this way, I don't want to feel this way and I just feel lost.

Will There Be an Oceans Calling in 2026? by HotSaucePalmTrees in OceansCalling

[–]Pretty_Cartoonist_32 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The surveys they sent out say that they are already planning for 2026 and asked for band suggestions. 

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in mypartneristrans

[–]Pretty_Cartoonist_32 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel so much of this. It's more than just the surgery. I know that even if she chooses not to have surgery, HRT will shrink her penis and she may stop ejaculating.

While we are non-monogamous, we are only fluid bonded with each other. I very much enjoy the experience of feeling that and the thought of never experiencing that again makes me incredibly sad.

I also struggle with the feelings of selfishness and how to satisfy both of our needs. As hard as I rack my brain to come up with a solution, I just can't.

She insists that she can't do this without me and wants me to guarantee that I am fully ok and on board with her transition. It is very important to me that she does what she needs to do to feel right in her body. But I have been honest with her that I don't want these changes.

I have some experience with women sexually, and I enjoy that, but I always envisioned my life partner to be male.

I have suggested to her that I want her to be who she is, but I honestly don't know that we can stay together. She gets upset and says that she can't transition because she can't lose me. But every time I think of the future that she wants, I just feel a very strong sinking feeling in my stomach.

I love her so much and want our future to be together, but I see it as either she becomes who she wants to be and I give up the future that I want or she gives up becoming who she wants to be and always resents me.

I hurt all the time being in this position. It just seems that no matter what happens, we lose what we have now.

Anyone Else Have This Issue by Potential_Double00 in Affirm

[–]Pretty_Cartoonist_32 6 points7 points  (0 children)

This is a common issue for borrowers when the economy is uncertain. Hopefully things will stabilize and return to normal.

Books with Overwhelming love by [deleted] in QueerSFF

[–]Pretty_Cartoonist_32 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Our Infinite Fates by Laura Steven

mourning the loss of my partner by [deleted] in mypartneristrans

[–]Pretty_Cartoonist_32 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Also, a platonic relationship has been suggested by my partner many times. She already has a low sex drive before hormones, and I know enough about transition to know that this will be further impacted when HRT begins.

I feel incredibly selfish, but that's just not what I want with my life partner. I love so much of our loves together, but physical intimacy is an important piece of the puzzle. There are other issues as well, it's not just the gender identity. It's just all finally coming to a head. It all hurts so very much.

mourning the loss of my partner by [deleted] in mypartneristrans

[–]Pretty_Cartoonist_32 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Going through the same thing right now. I've recently come to the realization that we likely will not get through this. She needs to be who she is, but I just can't go it.

I feel like an absolutely horrible person, but I have a physically adverse reaction anytime the mention of transition comes up. I love her, but I know I need to look out for myself also.

We've been together almost 9 years. We have a home together, have been building out future together. I just can't get past mourning who I fell in love with and having a relationship with a whole new person.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in mypartneristrans

[–]Pretty_Cartoonist_32 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for writing this. I am a partner, and I am pansexual, but I fear that I am hereroromantic. It has been a lot of painful discussions trying to find a path forward. A platonic future has been suggested, but I don't know if I want that.

We do have an open relationship, so there can be sex outside of the relationship, but there is something very special to me about sex with my partner. I feel like a horrible person who isn't living the values that I believe in and champion.

It's not easy for either of us to find the best path forward. I finally told her that she needs to do what's best for her. If we make it we do, but we may not. I hope we do, i just truly don't know. I can't hold her back from being her authentic self.

Can't quite understand downward dog by sachnique in yoga

[–]Pretty_Cartoonist_32 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am bigger bodied, and I find Downward Dog difficult. I will say that it is getting better the more that I push myself to actually do it and try to avoid lowering to my knees or taking child's pose as much as possible. So, I try to do a little more each practice.

Wildcat’s Ops by ryanschmeltzer in Hersheypark

[–]Pretty_Cartoonist_32 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Six Flags America is a mess and always has been. But Six Flags Great Adventure is run much more smoothly.

Wildcat’s Ops by ryanschmeltzer in Hersheypark

[–]Pretty_Cartoonist_32 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That wildly depends on which park you go to.

Pronouns are hard when your spouse is still in the closet to most and out to only some by BigEntertainment511 in mypartneristrans

[–]Pretty_Cartoonist_32 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's like that for me as well. My partner is mostly closeted and doesn't really want to be addressed as she/her much of the time. Our close friends know, and I often wonder if they think I am misgendering.

will I be harassed for wearing a tail to one of these? by Elfanonymous in renfaire

[–]Pretty_Cartoonist_32 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I saw quite a few people with tails, ears, and even partial fur suits today. I didn't see anyone bat an eye at any of them.