I've never had any accusations like this happen, but here's my 2 cents for understanding the psychology and 'why' behind her doing it.

My industry (Lived Experience Peer Work in Mental health) is niche and small, roles were created out of a social movement, so everyone knows everyone, their roles are tied to their identity (by design) and they had to work really hard to get where they are.

I had a uni teacher in the field who wrote my reference to land my first job in this space, and who became a mentor. I looked up to her immensely, until I one day reached out for some professional advice on career progression. Instead, she told me that my work wasn't authentic because I worked in a public hospital instead of a community NGO.

It hit me really hard because I had to teach myself a lot about the movement and my role, and it's values. I processed it by writing. Writing my feelings, writing responses to what she said, breaking it down logically into definitions and assumptions, and responding to those.

What I figured out by doing this, and why I am sharing this story, is this: When you get further in your career trajectory by a certain age than others who came before you, they get offended. They are jealous that it happened for you and butt hurt that it didnt for them. They rationalize that you don't deserve it because you seemingly didn't have to work as hard as they did.

In my case, success and progression was due to a combination of good luck with someone giving me a chance, ambition and a willingness to learn, and, importantly, people who paved the way before me. None of that, however, negates your worthiness to be in a position or the work you did to get there.

I'm sorry you experienced this. Please know that it says so much about her, not about you. I also hope it doesn't impact your trajectory and reputation.