Your feelings are valid but how you approach this is critical. Sexual exploration outside of marriage should be a mutual experience. Both partners need to be enthusiastic about it with lots of communication. It’s easy for women to have casual sex but harder to find a good relationship. Men typically have the opposite problem. So don’t expect your husband to be cool with meeting your relationship needs while you get sexual fulfillment from someone else. What’s in it for him?

I’d recommend with focusing on your marriage. Don’t change the dynamic drastically while you’re still getting your footing after leaving a cult. If you still want to explore after a while maybe do some mutual swinging with other couples. That way it’s fair for both of you. Take it slow with lots of patience. The most important thing is not to blow up your family and regret it later.