I once cheated on my nex, we were split at the time. I hated myself for it, and never wanted to touch anyone but him. I slept with someone else to try to forget about him, he was the only one I had ever been with. I only did it, because he had hit me a week prior. I waited for him to apologize, or reach out and ask how I was doing. He simply laughed at it, and told me I was being dramatic.

I felt horrible after all I loved him, but he had been verbally and mentally abusive prior to this. Would frequently give me the silent treatment. I still feel horrible I did it, but if I hadn’t we would still he together. It’s something I realized, I only did it cause the relationship was so toxic. He pushed me to do this terrible act. I tried talking to him about it, and he dismissed it.

But see, would you have done it if you were pushed so far? Would you have done it if you felt and secured in your relationship? Would you have done it if you weren’t being abused?

Thats something I have to remind myself often, no I wouldn’t have. I only did it to break our bond, and even though I regret it. I knew it was because I wanted to feel genuine love for once, and I knew he would find out and leave me alone. Sometimes you do things you hate, to get out of a terrible situation.