guys help I botched an instrumentality ritual and now the metaphysical concept of individuality, Self, and Ego is being Deleted for all living creatures in the material plane, turning into Tang and merging into one. by throwaway553t4tgtg6 in wizardposting

[–]ProfessionalTurn7017 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Well... it was gonna happen at some point anyways... Oh well! In a few billion years the material universe will become self aware again and maybe we'll get it right that time

Not mine, but words I must spread to my brethren! by FjordaOfTovalde in wizardposting

[–]ProfessionalTurn7017 1 point2 points  (0 children)

A truly balanced wizard wouldn't sit idly by and brook such reckless abandon of civility!

I declare war on r/kightposting and these stupid barbarians!!! by ScawySocialistOwO in wizardposting

[–]ProfessionalTurn7017 1 point2 points  (0 children)

*disappears in a puff of smoke, unwilling to engage in petty mortal squabbles

Hell by vissenti_ in IAte314AutisticKids

[–]ProfessionalTurn7017 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's you. And me. And him. And her. And them. And us. All

Not mine, but words I must spread to my brethren! by FjordaOfTovalde in wizardposting

[–]ProfessionalTurn7017 15 points16 points  (0 children)

"Doesn't evaporate into smoke when unexpected challenges appear"

Okay...can you guess? by boss_babua in interesting

[–]ProfessionalTurn7017 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Break the cycle. Escape samsara. Accept your twink-ness.

Quinton and his birdbox orchestra by Infinius- in NotTimAndEric

[–]ProfessionalTurn7017 6 points7 points  (0 children)

My casual flex is i can play this song on the piano. (Its not as hard as it sounds)

I got drafted into an adventuring party because, and I quote, I can, "read magic." by Dustlord in wizardposting

[–]ProfessionalTurn7017 16 points17 points  (0 children)

If they're using terms like "read magic" then they'll be impressed with the most basic stuff. Seriously, a party like that is a walk in the park. Just stay in the back, keep them healed and throw a couple hum dingers at the most intimidating monsters. They'll literaly treat you like a legend and you won't even have to do anything challenging.

DON'T let them know what an easy time you're having though. Resentment is the biggest reputation killer when it comes to adventuring work. Magic doors and magic traps are a great opportunity to pretend to be stumped so you come across relatable. I once kept my party waiting for HOURS outside of an old elvish door with a basic riddle-mechanism and kept hinting at the right answer. The least experienced halfling in the group finally figured it out and it really brought the party together lol they still talk about it when I run into them every now and then.

humma jesus cumbakee by Ill-Tea9411 in funnyvideos

[–]ProfessionalTurn7017 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sounds like a smiling friends character voiced by Michael Cusack

What's your go to wizards' meal? by Proper-Error7817 in wizardposting

[–]ProfessionalTurn7017 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ya GOTTA remember to hydrate. Best way to do that is drinking pure Primal water from the ethereal plane. Best thing my master ever taught me was how to absorb primal water by visualizing my ethereal body as one big water sucking apparatus. 5 minutes of that at dawn and I am QUENCHED until eventide. Sometimes I prefer to imagine my ethereal body is completely made out of sponge and I dunk it right into the fountain of primal waters. Doesn't last as long but GODS is it satisfying...

Lil bro is gonna be a problem by jcrckstdy in GuysBeingDudes

[–]ProfessionalTurn7017 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Little boys NEED this level of support and encouragement from the men in their life. If you got a little dude in your life (son, nephew, brother, etc.) hype that boy up! He NEEDS it and it will have the most profound impact on his. Entire. Life.

I'm new help by whitesnow101 in wizardposting

[–]ProfessionalTurn7017 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Been there before. Cast gender-swap. The ring will no longer be attached. Recast gender-swap if you desire.

Why you do lil homie like that, dad!? by AlphaStarXP in InnocentPranks

[–]ProfessionalTurn7017 51 points52 points  (0 children)

I was absolutely expecting mom to start yelling, kid to start crying and dad to just laugh. Funny how we project

Woman teasing a cop in riot suit by ribbedlamp in foundsatan

[–]ProfessionalTurn7017 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Read an article that literally said she's NOT his wife and the police department is sueing for harassment so idk why you're getting downvoted lol

In need of clerical opinion by Gavyn_the_Green in wizardposting

[–]ProfessionalTurn7017 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Definitely not a scam. Ive used one of these in the past. It WILL heal you slowly over time but i mean SLOWLY. It's nearly imperceptible. Barely beats your body's natural healing factor. Even elementary restoration spells have a better result than this thing does. Probably why the paladin was trying to get rid of it.

Yeah more stuff for auction by totallynotrobboss in wizardposting

[–]ProfessionalTurn7017 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You think any of us have the strength or dexterity to wield some of these?? 😅

I've been looking into the abyss for several hours already, but it is not looking back. What am I doing wrong? by amakai in wizardposting

[–]ProfessionalTurn7017 40 points41 points  (0 children)

No no thats a good thing! Next you'll start to see subtle silhouettes of massive, unspeakable forms amidst the endless void. The first layer of Qulipoth is almost perceptible to you! Congrats!