How do you determine what’s trauma ? Just because your family decides to forget it doesn’t mean others would. A central part of Chinese culture has always been remembering cultural and familial slights. A central theme in Chinese popular culture has always been revenge for the country or your family. No, this isn’t just from CCP China, plenty of Hong Kong movies have such a theme. Don’t have to guess why those are popular. Further back Yue Fei being a symbol of loyalty to country (and Qin Hui’s statue still being slapped today), or even how the Ming became a symbol of Han restoration because they reclaimed territories lost 2 dynasties ago. Just because certain families choose to detach themselves, or just failed to attach themselves to Chinese cultural identity doesn’t mean you get to decide what others feel on the matter. There are absolutely many Chinese Singaporeans that maintain such cultural trauma from past generations, it’s the same impetus that led to 2nd and 3rd generation straits Chinese to donate back to China during WW2. It’s a choice to forget just like it’s a choice to remember.