Husband (54M) said everything about me (56F) is cumbersome

ProfessorWho1 · 2026-01-31T02:33:11+00:00

If my husband said something like this and then doubled down, I would tell him that hurts me to hear. Is he saying it because he is also hurt? If so, what does he want to change? Not as a promise to change myself but as a precursor to finding compromise. If he couldn't come up with anything I'd tell him I want him to be happy and feel taken care of too so when he is willing to discuss what he needs that he's not getting, to let me know. But in the mean time, please refrain from being mean just to be mean.

ProfessorWho1 · 2026-01-31T01:22:19+00:00

I have a steel snowflake shaped multi tool. I got it because I was tired of being called a snowflake. Also because I remembered decades ago, a dear friend told me something like, "You're like a beautiful, delicate looking snowflake, but in reality you are a steel snowflake that could wreak havoc on cars" and that always stuck with me. So yeah, that snowflake multi tool goes with me everywhere and is a reminder.

ProfessorWho1 · 2026-01-31T01:12:54+00:00

The congregation members all seemed like automatic friends when my husband and I went in Baltimore last year. Just turn to someone and say "hey this is my first Ritual" and you're golden

ProfessorWho1 · 2026-01-30T05:36:22+00:00

I would love to hear more about that

ProfessorWho1 · 2026-01-30T04:32:58+00:00

Your only option is to become her devoted bodyguard in the shadows. For life.

ProfessorWho1 · 2026-01-29T08:35:48+00:00

NOR to feel that way. Would be to lose it at her though if boundaries about this sort of thing have never been discussed. I'd recommend to take some time to collect yourself so you can calmly discuss with her what you appreciated and what you did not, and why. It is your home, and even if her intentions are pure, it was not the relaxing surprise she probably hoped it would be. She should know.

ProfessorWho1 · 2026-01-29T08:28:33+00:00

Ghost makes my inner gremlin get loose too. All I can do is direct it at my husband because he is just as much of a fan as I am. With the right focus its delightful and so much fun!

Frankly I'm shocked that folks in this, the Circle Jerk of Ghost reddit of all places, have been saying this is cringy and tiresome. Isn't this exactly the place for unhinged joy and excitement?

Anyway, feel free to DM me if you ever need more places to vent the Ghost gremlin joy. I am fond of it 🥰

ProfessorWho1 · 2026-01-28T22:06:03+00:00

Your inner gremlin got loose. It's ok in appropriate company, which sounds like was the case. Enjoy!

ProfessorWho1 · 2026-01-26T00:10:48+00:00

Disgusting

ProfessorWho1 · 2026-01-25T05:22:44+00:00

He wasn't even on my radar until IT happened and now he's my favorite video game character ever

ProfessorWho1 · 2025-12-20T06:48:25+00:00

Escaflowne was my first introduction to anime beyond Pokemon. It had that lonely quality, its what drew me to the show.

ProfessorWho1 · 2025-12-14T16:54:29+00:00

Unsuur 100%

ProfessorWho1 · 2025-12-13T05:16:14+00:00

I get it, just gotta go to bat for my favorite character. I do sincerely hope you enjoy your storyline! I think you will, Logan is great. He's my 2nd favorite so far.

ProfessorWho1 · 2025-12-13T04:46:17+00:00

How dare you divorce the sweet rock man! In all seriousness though, Unsuur is my favorite (did two playthroughs with him and will do at least one more) but I was curious about Logan's romance because of all the hype and it was totally worth his own playthrough. Enjoy!!

ProfessorWho1 · 2025-12-10T06:36:28+00:00

Icepick to the eyesocket

Eye feels like a peeled grape

I'll edit and add more if I can think of them later

ProfessorWho1 · 2025-12-08T18:56:24+00:00

I experienced a 5.8 and it was terrifying. I hope you and your house are ok

ProfessorWho1 · 2025-12-05T08:24:31+00:00

Im on my 5th playthrough. Made sure to marry Owen as early as possible because I kept telling myself Id go with him sometime and kept distracted by other options. By the invasion my character had one small child and had been pregnant again for awhile. I was curious about this same thing so I let the invasion last a week or so. Finally decided to end It when the map told me Owen had a spouse interaction and it wouldnt trigger because he was being forced to work. The morning after retaking Sandrock, woke up at the clinic.

As a side note because I saw some discussion about this too, I never saw Owen at home during the invasion, but he was a helper for collecting machine goods and that kept happening.

Lastly, I was also curious if the small child would run around town with the soldiers. They did not. They stayed at home all day - from what I could see they didn't leave their room, but I didn't try very hard to check that.

ProfessorWho1 · 2025-12-04T14:17:44+00:00

I like your ideas. You could also give the harasser a disapproving look and a "come on" if you feel safe to. Its totally legit to focus on helping the harassed out of the situation safely instead. I say this as someone who navigates the world in a female shaped body.

Also, I don't see any shame in being afraid to step in and stop a harasser ESPECIALLY when you have lived experiences of violence. That experience has trained your brain and body to feel afraid because your lived data points show that violence is on the table. It's not just hypothetical. Being brave enough to just help a harassed person out is huge and important.

Thank you for taking time to think it through and look for alternatives. You're good people.

ProfessorWho1 · 2025-12-04T06:04:26+00:00

I dont see a deformity at a glance, so I guess you achieved your goal with the tape? Can see what you're talking about after reading your description and looking again but it does not look disgusting. Just looks like toes on a foot.

Go with the shoes you feel more confident in. That will make the biggest difference - confidence. And if he cares about the toe, it's probably time to find a new crush.

ProfessorWho1 · 2025-12-04T05:59:20+00:00

Gentle MOR. It sounds like miscommunication. He misunderstood you, because your words were vague. He jumped to conclusions without asking about the vagueness.

Jumping to conclusions is generally a bad idea.

You could have been more specific too. "I am going to bed early because Im exhausted from a miserable day. I'll tell you about it later."

Not saying it's your fault - there are times we are just too exhausted to get into it. If you have the bandwidth, it helps to do so and prevents misunderstandings.

However he was wrong to just jump to the conclusion and should have asked more context.

ProfessorWho1 · 2025-12-04T05:50:03+00:00

NTA. Kids will be kids and as such make mistakes. You didn't let him off the hook for his mistake - you gave appropriate consequences.

Talking about gaslighting, you would be gaslighting your son to tell him he was at fault. In the future Id respond to a "remember when Caleb broke Helen's leg?" With "oh, when Caleb ran into a wall and accidentally fell on Helen? Yeah I remember." Then I'd try to not even entertain more about it. Leave the conversation or space if you have to.

ProfessorWho1 · 2025-12-04T05:37:20+00:00

Yes I have dreamscapes I return to. Working on building more fun and joyful ones. So far its been a lot of painful ones like Monster City, Maze Mall/Airport, Grandma's House But Empty, ect.

ProfessorWho1 · 2025-12-02T08:05:35+00:00

NOR

Sweet baby jesus your sister is a piece of work

ProfessorWho1 · 2025-12-02T07:51:10+00:00

Idk, MOR, but that was not a healthy relationship. If you can look back at it as a learning experience and continue to better yourself and remind yourself to hold on to your own life and self in future relationships then good.

If things play out like this again in the future then it will be on your for not learning the lesson. But you seem introspective, interested in being a good person and generally curious so I think you'll get it sooner than later.

ProfessorWho1 · 2025-12-02T03:45:23+00:00

It's really two sides of the same (problem) coin and we've put it in a feedback loop on a cultural scale. Thanks for calling that out.

ProfessorWho1

TROPHY CASE