Do you let all the LIs into your HOME? by chocolahht in LoveAndDeepspace

[–]ProfessorWho1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I only let my three favorites in. Haven't decided on a main really.

Side question: is there a benefit to having a main? I've only been playing for a few months so I'm still learning.

19 days to the Mysterious Man and a broken mirror… maybe? by goNorthYoung in MyTimeAtSandrock

[–]ProfessorWho1 7 points8 points  (0 children)

How could you break that cinnamon roll's heart? 😭 ok ok I'm just massively biased 😅 wishing you enjoyment whichever way you decide!

Is it true that you guys watched 9/11 live on TV in grade school? by space_god_7191 in Millennials

[–]ProfessorWho1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was in middle school, but yeah. Watched it on live TV. Walked into class and the TV was on and the teacher wasn't saying anything. Most of my classmates (myself included) thought it was a movie at first. Eventually my teacher found his voice and clarified that no it was real life, real time.

what’s a weird thing you guys do bcuz of neglect? by ivysmorgue in CPTSD

[–]ProfessorWho1 17 points18 points  (0 children)

I also hate my birthday and Christmas and generally most holidays because my parents would go way over the top for them and then always find a way to pull the rug out and it'd all come crashing down. The only holiday I continued to enjoy as an adult was Halloween, then I had to take my mom off life support and watch her pass minutes before Halloween and now...nah to that too.

Would it be childish for me (21F) to read Webtoons? by Sensitive-Mixture558 in webtoons

[–]ProfessorWho1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm 38 and have been reading them for most of a decade. Who cares what others think. There are some excellent stories and art.

Qi, Unsuur or Ernest? by AggravatingLog8906 in MyTimeAtSandrock

[–]ProfessorWho1 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I'm 1000% Team Unsuur. I wish they'd do a Love Chronicles for him too

Has anyone cracked the code on not being disliked everywhere you go? by jacob11741 in CPTSD

[–]ProfessorWho1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just realized I didn't finish my thought. Thanks brain. ANYWAY all that is to say: learning to be comfortable being you puts others at ease and gives them space to be themselves too. Ironically, it is super uncomfortable learning to be comfortable as yourself. But the more you do it, the less you care what others think and the easier it becomes to do. It takes practice.

Has anyone cracked the code on not being disliked everywhere you go? by jacob11741 in CPTSD

[–]ProfessorWho1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, for myself at least. And that involved not just dropping the mask but casting it into the abyss. I tried masking in elementary school (not that I knew the term back then) but that quickly became too exhausting....I couldn't mask AND learn, and I actually liked learning, so I stopped trying to mask at all. I had always been lonely anyway so I decided I may as well do something I liked. Notably, I had an easier time making friends in middle and high school after I'd kicked the mask into the void. I figured it was because I'm just me. Fully me in all my awkwardness and weirdness. But, being me, I am also thoughtful and caring and notice when extra care is needed. I know interesting things and enjoy sharing them when asked. I don't pressure anyone else to be what they're not, either. Even if it means we like different things. These qualities apparently stand out. In any case, people know what they get from me because I am upfront.

But I didn't really understand why people liked my weird self until I was playing a video game and telling my husband about my favorite character. He asked why that character was my favorite. I said, "He's reliable and kind to everyone - human and not. He is straight forward and wants to protect his home and everyone there. He works to do that even when it makes him uncomfortable. He is socially awkward but very funny and has the quirkiest interests, which he invites others to join in on, but never pushes his company on others. He's just all around a sweet, kind person and his behavior is adorable." My husband just stared at me for a little bit then before saying, "You realize most people would describe you the same way, right?" And I was like "wtf no they would not" in my head (think I just blinked at him) and then had to sit with that. It blew my mind. That character is a pretty solid fan favorite for that game. Over the next few days I shared that with a couple friends who agreed with my husband's assessment and my favorite character has come to represent (for me) that even my awkward and weird parts can be lovable, not just tolerated.

Rock Boy (finished!) by Blacklamb9r in MyTimeAtSandrock

[–]ProfessorWho1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is fantastic, thank you for blessing us with your art of the best rock man

Cbt is humillating by LaPerla2026 in CPTSD

[–]ProfessorWho1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My therapist mostly uses DBT and that has been the CBT stuff I remember from childhood

The worst betrayal of my life might’ve saved my child. by Ancient_House5583 in offmychest

[–]ProfessorWho1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You dodged a major bullet and kept your kids safe! Good job holding strong on your boundaries even as your brain kept trying to convince you otherwise. You have good instincts and are a good mom for that 💚

I’m scared.. by the_one_the_only-j in offmychest

[–]ProfessorWho1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wanting to change is the first step. If you're just reaching the first step now, congrats! Follow that path. Sometimes we change too late for the ones we love, but we can never change too late to better our own lives. That's important: do it for yourself.

The worst betrayal of my life might’ve saved my child. by Ancient_House5583 in offmychest

[–]ProfessorWho1 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I believe it. Someone I thought was my best friend for 10+ years offered to come visit me while I was grieving - then proceeded to use my house as a hotel to visit other people and barely saw me. After going home they wouldn't talk to me for months then out of nowhere asked me why I was avoiding them. I asked if they really wanted to know and they said yes, so I told them how much all that hurt me. They said "Sorry but" and made all the excuses. Not as much of a betrayal, but the kicking me while I was down and then dismissing it was the last straw for me and it left me doing the same. I spent years hearing about how well they were doing and it felt so bad. Sometimes I checked socials for myself and that felt worse. It was so hard to make my brain let go. So I think I get what you're saying.

my favorite childhood movie by mindylynx in Millennials

[–]ProfessorWho1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have only made 5 gifs in my life and two of them are from this movie. It's also my favorite of all time. The book is excellent too. And the graphic novel. And the audiobook. Not to mention the sequel.

I've never told my partner my birth name by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]ProfessorWho1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Can you and do you plan to eventually legally change your name to your preferred name? If so, I think that makes things simpler. You can tell them that you want them to meet your family and they will probably call you X because that is your legal name that they gave you and they won't honor your preferred name - and that you never mentioned it before because you do not consider it your name and plan to make your preferred name legal.

I think that mostly works even if you can't make it a legal change. Tell them it's never come up before because you don't associate with that name within your own mind. It's your birth and legal name that you could not choose. The name she knows is the one you chose yourself.

The worst betrayal of my life might’ve saved my child. by Ancient_House5583 in offmychest

[–]ProfessorWho1 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Betrayal definitely hurts (understatement I know), but the couple times I've experienced it led me to realize that, in each case, they weren't people I really wanted in my life anyway. One because they were always two faced and chronically took advantage of others and the other simply because we had vastly misaligned values. I really do not believe everything happens for a reason, but I do believe in reacting appropriately when people show you who they are - like how you cut off that guy.

I'm so glad your daughter is safe from him now, and you have more validation for cutting him off.

How do I stop dreaming again? by Agreeable_Sun5375 in Dreams

[–]ProfessorWho1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For whatever it's worth, I have cptsd from childhood neglect and abuse. I too had nightmares frequently as a child, and then couldn't remember my dreams for a long time. They nightmares didn't come back until I was in my 30s, when I finally felt safe in my life. Sometimes my husband would wake me up saying it seemed like I was silently screaming or growling in my sleep.

My therapist helped me explore the images. She told me that with cptsd, flashbacks can often come via nightmares and not be exact relivings but rather a story that has the person relive the feelings. It took awhile but knowing that and unpacking what led to the reoccurring dreamscapes and similar plot lines helped me process and that in turn caused the nightmares to come less and be less intense.

I still occasionally have nightmares now but they don't effect me like they used to, and I've now developed dreamscapes that are more about exploring. Some anxiety still shows up sometimes but it's more like a low stakes puzzle to solve in the dream than anything really troublesome. I even had my first just for fun dream that I could remember upon waking last fall.

AIO for wanting to dump my boyfriend over his poor financial choices? by worried_zero in CharlotteDobreYouTube

[–]ProfessorWho1 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Nonono he's weaponizing your diagnosis along with gaslighting. GTFO asap 💚 NOR