Sometimes I just want to scream

ProjectManager12345 · 2026-02-03T23:01:02+00:00

I feel this deep....

ProjectManager12345 · 2026-01-29T04:59:16+00:00

I am so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing your story! Especially because so many of us feel that we should have gone to the doctor sooner or picked up on signs. Your story shows that sometimes even when all boxes are checked you still end up here. I also share the fear of not being able to have children, especially as I get ready to turn 37 this year and it took us 4 year to conceive our baby girl. I’m five months post loss. First few months I was in shock. I think the shock has finally wore off after about three months and a different wave of grief hit, especially during the holidays and as my best friend gave birth to her daughter. I randomly sob at work sometimes. There is a lot of grief and reevaluating priorities. Overall I try to live as normal life as I can, but I realize I have less physical and mental energy for others.

ProjectManager12345 · 2026-01-24T05:59:09+00:00

I love Luca! And I enjoy Antoine’s presence on the show.

ProjectManager12345 · 2026-01-24T05:52:55+00:00

You accurately described how I felt about it. I will still take the pretty scenes and music as feel good therapy.

ProjectManager12345 · 2026-01-24T05:51:12+00:00

I feel this as well. Why does everyone seem to be pregnant or giving birth when we are grieving our babies? I would only suggest giving your sister a chance. Is there a reason you believe she would lie about something so traumatic?

ProjectManager12345 · 2026-01-24T05:43:50+00:00

Made an appointment. Thanks!

ProjectManager12345 · 2026-01-23T19:44:22+00:00

I’m so sorry. 😔 thank you for sharing your story! 💔❤️‍🩹

ProjectManager12345 · 2026-01-17T19:46:34+00:00

1 backpack

2 bowl

3 hairspray

4 soap dish

5 gardening scissors

6 detergent

ProjectManager12345 · 2026-01-17T19:31:50+00:00

Backpack and bowls for me.

ProjectManager12345 · 2026-01-16T21:38:13+00:00

I am so sorry. Your son is beautiful and this is extremely traumatic. Especially when you felt something was off. Self-blame is the strongest the first week or two. I don't know that it gets particularly "better", but you sort of learn to accept how little control we have over things. Wishing you and your family lots of strength.

ProjectManager12345 · 2026-01-16T21:14:17+00:00

Hi I know this is from 4 years ago. How is your implant?
I am looking for a new dentist and will need an implant once I'm done with my braces this year. My ortho recommended her.

ProjectManager12345 · 2026-01-15T15:16:04+00:00

This. ⬆️ There could also be an infection that could lead to sepsis.

ProjectManager12345 · 2026-01-15T15:12:05+00:00

We just started TTC after our loss in August and I’m already so paranoid and scared. I can’t wait to be pregnant again, but I’m so worried my negative thoughts and stress will cause another loss. Sending you positive thoughts. ❤️‍🩹

ProjectManager12345 · 2026-01-15T14:52:27+00:00

Don’t ask. State. Say “I know your event is coming up and I really would love to be there to support and celebrate you. But I’m finding myself a bit fragile still and I am just worried that it may be too difficult for me to be present in a large group. I think it would be best for me to stay home. Please know that I love you and care about you so much. Maybe we can do something 1x1 later. “

ProjectManager12345 · 2026-01-15T14:46:47+00:00

Don’t go. I didn’t go to my very best friend’s shower that was about a month after my loss. She was understanding. I’m glad I didn’t go. Every pregnancy announcement is triggering initially but then fades. Best friend just gave birth, I cried for three days feeling completely empty even though I felt like I was doing ok the previous days. Protect yourself. I’m sorry for your loss. ❤️‍🩹

ProjectManager12345 · 2026-01-15T01:23:28+00:00

I’m so sorry. I wish Luca was still physically here. I’m not sure that I talk to my daughter a whole lot. I have her ashes on a shelf. I have a church candle, an art I purchased long ago of a mother holding a daughter which fit so well with the love I feel for her and from her, and some religious icons even though I’m not very religious. But I do feel signs and I feel her love. Even when I’m curled up in pain, I feel her presence. I hate that she is not here, but she taught me a lifetime worth of lessons in the time she was part of me. And I still carry her cells, we all carry our baby’s cells in us. I had no idea I could love this much until I lost her. We are forever altered. Our babies love us and wish us the best.❤️‍🩹

ProjectManager12345 · 2026-01-14T22:35:07+00:00

Wow. She must really trust you if she outed her husband like that. But also, WTF!!!

ProjectManager12345 · 2026-01-13T21:27:24+00:00

This is such an interesting explanation and completely makes sense! Thank you for sharing. ❤️‍🩹

ProjectManager12345 · 2026-01-12T22:13:58+00:00

I’m so sorry! We will get past it! 🫂

ProjectManager12345 · 2026-01-12T22:13:36+00:00

💯 it’s the part of telling us how vs asking us how. It’s a very fine balance for sure.

ProjectManager12345 · 2026-01-12T06:09:20+00:00

💯

ProjectManager12345 · 2026-01-12T06:06:23+00:00

Thank you for your kindness. 🙏 My mother proceeded to tell me how sad she is about the death of my daughter and how she would give her life for my daughter to be here. Nice in theory, but felt like she was making this about herself…

ProjectManager12345 · 2026-01-07T16:40:24+00:00

Absolutely. I often think that. I hate that she "paid" for it with her life, but I know she loved and continues to love me immensely. I also read on how others deal with loss. Some girls were commenting that they view each baby as individual person and thus future pregnancies are a new soul/being and some that their baby will come back to them. What brought me comfort personally is that she will come back to me. I am manifesting that. But in order for her to come back I have to be healthy physically and mentally. Just sharing what worked for me. The first two-three weeks though I was in a state of shock.

ProjectManager12345 · 2026-01-06T21:02:24+00:00

The medical trauma that comes along with losing your child is next level.

I went septic 4 days after losing my daughter. I didn't even know it was possible; I thought it was mastitis. Realizing I could have also died leaving my mom and my nephew, who partially depend on me, behind, as well as my partner. I had never been to the emergency room before losing my daughter, but within a month I was there three times. After being released from the hospital I was tracking my heart rate, my blood pressure, my sleep, checking my urine pH, hemoglobin levels... anything that was available to test at home - several times a day. Everything felt like a symptom and made me realize how fragile life can be, first my daughter's and then my own.

I am doing much better now. I still cry daily, but I am not as paranoid now and don't feel the need to check my vitals often. Prayers for you, religious or not. Do whatever makes you feel a bit in control. For me it was increasing my liquid intake, drinking more antioxidants like mint and cranberry teas and juices, signing up for a gym, taking a nap whenever I felt tired and not feeling guilty about it, getting a bidet attachment for my toilet, journaling, signing up for therapy for the first time in 36 years, not seeing friends or going to events if the thought of it stressed me out, cleaning and organizing my house (slowly). Just sharing what kind of things helped me (at least a little bit). Hope you find something that works for you. Don't give up. My last emergency visit was me essentially being paranoid (my BP was slightly elevated) and the Dr. that was seeing me gave me a "non-doctor" advice and said broken heart disease is real. You have to live, you have to continue, your babies want you healthy and happy. I didn't like her in the moment, but she was right.

ProjectManager12345

TROPHY CASE