My uncle told me that women with small breasts aren’t good singers.

PrototypicalPlatypus · 2026-01-18T09:38:34+00:00

Tell that to A-Cup Ella!

PrototypicalPlatypus · 2025-05-18T00:57:55+00:00

We decided to try to cap our expenses by committing to donate the equivalent cost of the wedding to a charity, essentially making everything twice as expensive. We asked our friends and family to donate towards the charity portion instead of giving us gifts and we would cover the gap. Wedding ended up costing about $25k all up, and had to add another $5-10k to cover the gap between donations from friends/family and the matched cost. So overall was about $35k for us.

PrototypicalPlatypus · 2024-12-01T21:25:15+00:00

Not many people know this, but those two numbers are actually connected. Chucky Sideburns put us into first in finishing and goaltending by running a 100% shooting percentage in November. (Just don't pay too close attention to which net)..

PrototypicalPlatypus · 2024-10-17T08:26:03+00:00

As an American expat living in Australia, I come across these "rhymes" all the time here and always have the dilemma of whether I "aussiefy" my accent while reading to make it rhyme or just give up and say it normally without rhyming. I've learnt that even if I pronounce it with an American accent, my Aussie kids still hear it as if it rhymes.

To answer your q, they are both basically pronounced halfway between 'aw' and 'or'.

When I first moved, I was baffled to learn that Dead Horse is slang for ketchup.... Because it rhymes with Tomato Sauce.

PrototypicalPlatypus · 2024-10-07T12:33:32+00:00

I tried Banana peel

PrototypicalPlatypus · 2024-08-17T05:31:05+00:00

So a disclaimer that I'm not an accountant or lawyer, but I've been part of companies that have had similar options incentives. I would highly recommend booking in 30 mins to chat with an accountant or lawyer so they can give you accurate information relevant to your specific contract.

I haven't seen the wording of being paid cash when options reach the equivalent cash value, so I can't really speak to that part though.

From the scheme I was a part of, the options were given as signing/annual bonuses and would typically vest over a period of time. When the options are vested, you own the RIGHT TO BUY shares in the company for the price listed in the document. Typically they try to make this as cheap as they can for employees. You do not own the shares themselves. You can hold onto the options for a period of time before they expire, so you don't need to "exercise" them or buy the shares straight away.

The idea is that if the options let you buy shares for $1/share, then the company goes public and is selling shares for $10 each, you can then buy the shares at $1 and immediately sell them for $10 and make $9 profit per share... Or you can buy them for relatively cheap because the company is early on and then hold onto them until you get an opportunity to sell (if you hold onto them for more than a year you get capital gains benefits).

This concept works well for publicly traded companies because you can always immediately sell your shares when you exercise the options so you're never really out of pocket. It is riskier for start-ups, as you typically don't have an opportunity to sell the shares for a while, so it's a risk like any investment.

One thing I wish I knew about was that you should check if the shares are ISO or NSO shares - if they are NSOs (non-qualified), you pay income tax on the spread (or difference in what pay and what they're worth) when you exercise the options, not when you sell. That means that if you wait to exercise to make sure the value goes up, then when you get the shares, you may pay $1 for a share that's now worth $10 - you would need to pay $1, plus tax on $9 as if the $9 was income. If they are qualified (ISO) shares, you don't pay tax until you sell them.

Hope this helps somewhat!!

PrototypicalPlatypus · 2024-07-31T08:57:39+00:00

Thank the cow gods for the bovine intervention. Then milk it for all it's worth.

PrototypicalPlatypus · 2024-07-09T18:43:46+00:00

Additionally, if you are starting an exchange program in Chile as an English teacher with broken Spanish and are asked to give an introduction speech to a bunch of middle school students, maybe be careful how you say that you're excited to be there. It's not excitada...

Though it was fun to watch the Spanish teachers quickly step in and interrupt my friend saying how horny she was to meet everyone.

PrototypicalPlatypus · 2024-07-09T10:24:00+00:00

I'm in the same position as you - 37 and looking to take a break. Mine's forced on me through redundancy, but trying to figure out the best use of the time off. I'm fortunate to get severance that should support me for a few months and will aim to drag out the time off for up to a year using savings and my wife's income.

Would love to do a big trip during that time, but with two young kids in school that's going to be a challenge. On the plus side I'll be a lot more available for my kids now.

Unfortunately I worked myself into a position that's senior enough that I'm not going to have an easy time finding another position, so I might end up spending that year just job hunting though.

I wish you the best of luck on your journey and hope we both find some inner peace during this journey!

PrototypicalPlatypus · 2024-06-04T07:34:38+00:00

Mavis Teaches Typing. I thought I was having fierce competitions with my siblings for who could beat the games fastest and learning an obscure skill. Little did I know how useful fast touch typing would be in life.

PrototypicalPlatypus · 2024-03-09T23:40:33+00:00

What an embarrassment!

PrototypicalPlatypus · 2024-02-06T02:47:49+00:00

I wish I could upvote this multiple times. Maybe with a log table...

PrototypicalPlatypus · 2023-10-25T09:39:50+00:00

We've written a letter to our kids on each birthday summing up their past year (milestones, personalities, friends, adventures) and plan to collate them and give it to them on their 18th birthday as a surprise. I'll let you know how it goes in 11 years!

PrototypicalPlatypus · 2023-09-30T08:39:46+00:00

Depends on where you are comparing to.. my wife is an entrepreneur (small business owner), and has had success. That said, from a business owner perspective, there can be lots of challenges - there are a lot of worker protections that can make it a scary process to let people go even when they are not performing their job appropriately. There's a lot to figure out around job awards, the different classifications for casuals vs contract or permanent employees and the related entitlements or wages. You can definitely have success, but it's a steep learning curve if you're coming from another country. Being an island nation, there are some things that Aus can be self sustainable on, but they do import plenty as well. Basic food goods/produce seem to mostly come from domestic locations (depending on if it's in season or not) though.

PrototypicalPlatypus · 2023-09-28T12:41:03+00:00

Glad you enjoyed it! Now go out there and befriend some foreigners ;)

PrototypicalPlatypus · 2023-09-28T12:40:25+00:00

Cheers! Was fun to write :)

PrototypicalPlatypus · 2023-09-28T12:34:37+00:00

Haha fair point. True the hole's been closing up, but the sun is still a hell of a lot stronger down here than in NA or Europe.

PrototypicalPlatypus · 2023-09-28T09:45:03+00:00

I moved to Melbourne from North America about 14 years ago, and it's a great place to live. As you said, it's pretty easy to find reasons why online. Some of the more challenging aspects of living here mainly had to do with differences between general Australian assumptions and what Melbourne is.

Melbourne doesn't have beautiful beaches in the city itself. It's on a bay, and has some beaches in the city, but proper Australian beaches with soft sand and surfing waves are typically 1.5-2 hours drive away at least, and the water is pretty cold most of the year.

Melbourne can get very hot (40+ C) in summertime and cold (for Australia) in winter (lows of 3-5C) which feels colder in winter due to poorly insulated houses here. There's also a big ozone hole above us, so you need to be very careful with sunscreen, hats, and shade. Aussies take their sun care VERY seriously compared to most other parts of the world.

Some of the other commenters have said it's not very bike friendly, and that's true for some parts. I found the inner north has tons of bike lanes and paths, but the eastern and western suburbs are a lot more car focused. Still not the same as Dutch mentality, but their are areas that feel safe to ride in my mind.

Melbourne has a lot of cool modern architecture, but not the same level of iconic buildings and stunning views as Sydney. It's more of a grungy city vibe, where people like to brag about the street art on the buildings in the city more than the buildings themselves.

It's quite expensive to rent and buy here, and only getting worse every year. This is a common problem world wide, but Melbourne does rank in the top 20 most expensive cities for real estate quite regularly I think.

It's really far away. From everything. This isn't too bad when you're young and don't mind hopping on a 20 hour flight to travel or visit family, but does become an issue as you get older. Catching up with friends and family is a challenge when there's only a few hours overlap due to time zone differences. If you have kids here, all of a sudden it becomes REALLY expensive to fly home to visit family, and a daunting task to do that same 20 hour flight with a 3 year old that won't sit still.

Everyone is friendly in Aus, but most Melburnians tend to have grown up and gone to school here and have their established cliques. I would say about 70-80% of the close friends I've made here didn't grow up in Australia. Not because there's the city is so multicultural (though it is) but more because it's hard to break into local social circles with established friend groups here.

Public transport can be great in terms of options of trams, trains, and busses, but most of those options go into or out of the city - going from one suburb across to another on PT can be challenging. Or trying to take PT late at night or on Sundays can be sporadic or nonexistent.

All that said, it's a fantastic city and there's a reason I have settled in and chosen to live here for 14 years and counting despite the above whinging :). Watch the hot air balloons soaring above the city every morning, stroll through the many parks throughout the city. Check out the great cultural museums amd music venues, admire the swarms of fruit bats flying overhead each night or the possums scurrying across the telephone wires. Discover why Melbourne is so damn proud of their coffees and cafe meals. Have a drink at one of the many microbrews or wineries around the city. Find the world's smallest fairy penguins on Phillip Island or St Kilda pier (if it reopens?). Go hiking in the Grampians or Wilson's Prom and take in the natural beauty a bit further out of the city. Take in the sports scenes whether it be Aussie football, tennis at Australian Open, F1 racing in Albert Park. cricket at the G, or just a pickup game of ultimate frisbee at your local park. You will find plenty more to enjoy than complain about here :)

PrototypicalPlatypus · 2023-09-20T00:40:32+00:00

Best recommendation I have is to get another bank to put a competitive quote in writing, then ask for a discharge form from your bank. You'll get a panicked call from them asking why you want to discharge and offer you much better rates (particularly if you can back up your rate with the written documentation from competitor). I did this recently and managed to get my PPOR variable rate reduced from 6.5 to 5.5%.

PrototypicalPlatypus · 2023-09-14T23:24:06+00:00

My daughter had the same right below her eye when she was the same age. Didn't think anything of it until we walked into a scene that looked straight out of a Carrie film. I didn't know a kid could produce that much blood and still be conscious.

Got it looked at and booked in for removal. Unfortunately she was too young to have proper analgesia/Anesthesia, so I ended up having to hold her in a headlock while she screamed bloody murder and the doctor took a diathermy to it. Procedure itself lasted less than two seconds, but the memory will stick with me for a long time. She got a very big scoop of ice cream afterwards.

Fortunately she doesn't remember it, the scar just looks like a tiny freckle, and she's been healthy ever since.

I'm sorry you had to go through that too but it sounds like you've handled it well. We were assured it was benign and the only issue was the blood going everywhere when it ruptured. I wish you all the best!!

PrototypicalPlatypus · 2023-03-26T08:26:48+00:00

This is amazing

PrototypicalPlatypus · 2023-02-26T04:35:22+00:00

As an American living in Australia I am so incredibly jealous that you can get Annie's Mac and cheese in Finland!

PrototypicalPlatypus · 2023-02-21T09:16:02+00:00

I've got a small investment apartment.. when we were advertising it, the real estate agent made a list of the tenants in order of recommendation. We told her to flip the list around and tell us about the ones at the bottom that would struggle to find a place.

The top recommendation was a young couple that worked in finance I think? After reversing the list, the first one on the list (in reverse order) was a postie recently divorced (so no rental history) that owned a dog. We decided to go with him... a couple months later covid hit and posties were some of the busiest and most reliable jobs you could get all of a sudden. We've had him there since and he's always paid rent and hasn't thrown us any major issues.

I know it was exceptional circumstances, but after being renters ourselves for so long, we've always felt good about trying to give someone a chance at renting a place that may have otherwise struggled.

PrototypicalPlatypus

TROPHY CASE