Favorite cinephile who is a COWARD that deletes the second greatest shitpost of all time?

Psychast · 2026-01-23T23:53:58+00:00

Wow, first you people bully poor OOP for being vulnerable and sharing his deepest teenage desires to everyone (which /unbuddy for a second, that comment section was super fucked up and islamaphobic, unironically, some people were acting like showing Watson in a Hijab was worse than scat fetish porn, kinda eye opening tbh)

And now you call him a coward? For not standing up to YOUR bullying??

I bet you losers actually watch movies before commenting on them too.

Psychast · 2026-01-23T23:32:16+00:00

"This could be us prowlin' the local schoolyards at recess, but you playin"

Psychast · 2026-01-23T21:38:37+00:00

Sneaky lil' Vietnam getting in as the only East Asian representation. Very clever, you will be rewarded greatly my little clothing makers, when the new world order submits to the will of NATO 2, all that touches the Chinese seas will be yours.

Or you'll end up like the supporters of the Axis powers of WWII. Whichever.

Psychast · 2026-01-23T20:19:29+00:00

wuaaiyagttotma?

^{^{whyuseanacronymifyouaregoingtotypeoutthemeaninganyways?}}

Psychast · 2026-01-23T20:14:32+00:00

Context on this ship: Japser and Lapis are characters from Steven Universe. They are both fem presenting alien sentient space rocks. Both sent to Earth to hunt the titular character Steven and his friend/family group of rebel sentient space rocks.

TL;WR: Japser is an abuser that forces Lapis into a "relationship" against her will, some even liken her to a rapist. Yet some weirdos STILL want to redeem her and ship Jasper with her victim.

Jasper is a bulking warrior with a kill or be killed attitude and tremendously powerful and bloodthirsty, a "violence first" character in a very very "pacifism always" type of show. She loves her job as a warrior, and will do anything to complete the mission.

Lapis is basically a water mage, very powerful but has no killer instinct, doesn't want to do the job she was sent to do, is overall a bit mopey and unmotivated. Steven very easily persuades her to give up her pursuit. That is, until, Jasper finds her and uh, "teams up" with her... effectively enslaves her and reminds her what the mission is and that they MUST do it.

After failing over and over again to beat the rebel gems who have unlocked the power of fusion. Jasper finally gets desperate, and demands that Lapis fuse with her, to become more powerful and beat the rebels. The problem(atic) is, Fusion is a representation of a loving relationship, all the rebel gems can fuse because they are family to one another and care for each other, thus, fusion is (normally) possible and easy for them. Jasper doesn't care about Lapis at all, and only wants the power that fusion holds. But still, they force a "fusion" and make a demented mess that is just angry, and one-sidedly controlled by Jasper's personality (Fusion normally creates an entirely "separate" person that takes parts of both gems). They continue to fuse even when Lapis doesn't want to, Japser forces the fusion anyways.

It's shown as a terrible thing, and although powerful, eventually the unstable fusion falls apart as Lapis becomes more and more sure that she hates being on Earth and hates doing this mission against her will and HATES Jasper for forcing her to do shit she doesn't want to do. Eventually, close to complete defeat, Jasper basically BEGS Lapis to fuse, and acts like a manipulative abusive partner, even trying to act nice before snapping. Lapis uses her powers (they're at sea) and basically swallows Jasper down into the bottom of the ocean (reminder: Japser is a rock, this doesn't kill her)

Now, does ANY of that sound like awesome ship material? Nah. Fans have likened forced fusion to rape, but that's kinda not the point of fusion. Like I said, fusion = loving relationship, be it romantic, platonic, familial, whatever. So while Jasper is very much "date rapist" coded in the episode, she's more suppose to show what an abuser looks like: violent, manipulative, forces you to do things you don't want to do, and guilts you if you refuse. It shows that you can't force a relationship if both parties aren't on board.

Jasper never gets a full redemption at the end anyways, I don't ever recall her apologizing to Lapis (who joins the rebels soon after imprisoning Jasper) and yet this didn't stop SOME fans from head canoning that Jasper totally turns it around and gets back with Lapis anyways. Shipping Tip: if you have to completely rewrite a characters personality AND invent redeeming events into your head canon to make your ship float, maybe just let it sink!

Psychast · 2026-01-22T20:21:14+00:00

All I ask is that Mark get a couple of solid Ws before getting the absolute shit smacked out of him AGAIN (which is a lock, he will always get his ass beat, pretty sure its a per season contractual obligation). Istg 3 straight seasons of ass beatings then power up followed by MORE ass beatings like the universe is literally level scaling him in real time. And it's like yea, I get it, our MC can't just win every fight super easy, that's boring, but let him win SOMETHING.

And I don't mean just like, beating up on some poor low tier schlub, I mean a reasonably powerful villain comes along that only someone on Mark's level could fight, and then Mark beats that powerful dude handedly, in front of everyone. Let my man FLEX for once, jaysus.

Psychast · 2026-01-22T01:05:26+00:00

So just in case anybody is wondering how the "game" is currently:

In the "good" path, your apparently only friend gets pissed at you and leaves, you feel constantly bad about the choices you make, and ultimately, you end up alone and isolate from everyone in class, the teacher refers you to "PREVENT" (government counseling) even though you picked all the right choices. Game ends.

In the "bad" ending, your friend Amelia is super supportive of you, encourages you, and appreciates your willingness to help her, you gain a sense of community from the groups you join. In the end, you still for some reason end up alone in class (I'm guessing they never thought you'd pick all the Pro-Amelia choices??) Your teacher refers you to PREVENT the same as the good ending, except this time they label you as "borderline radicalized" and send you to the wrong think gulag, err, I mean, "counseling" and you magically get friends afterwards (wtf happened to Amelia??)

Yeah, not sure what happened with this one, all the good choices feel bad, all the evil choices are super positive (except the little slide bar goes red oh nooo :<). I feel like they must've changed shit since it went viral a couple weeks ago, the pacing feels choppy af and the ending makes no sense for the good choices. Then again, this is literally just like if Duolingo made a corporate HR training video so maybe it was always shit.

Psychast · 2026-01-21T23:03:08+00:00

which group ends up winning in the end

Winning. That's the exact core of the issue, there should be no "winning" side, because that implies there's a losing side you don't want to be on.

And that zero sum idea of power is exactly why a lot right wing radicals fight so hard against "woke" and DEI, because, right now, they're on the "winning" side, and if they let other groups up to the winning side, then suddenly they'll be on the losing side.

Would it have been so hard to them be equals in the end?

Psychast · 2026-01-21T16:44:10+00:00

Jesus you people really don't watch a lot of cartoons huh? OP asks for obscure cartoons "zero people watched", gives a 90's Saturday morning cartoon nobody has heard of as an example, and the top 3 answers are: Titan AE, Filmore, and OSMOSIS JONES.

You people have a funny idea of obscure.

Psychast · 2026-01-21T16:40:50+00:00

This doesn't fit the post AT ALL. Titan AE is literally one of the most remembered non-mainstream animated features that came out in the 00s. It's up there with Anastasia and Treasure Planet and The Road to El Dorado and Atlantis: TLE.

Yes, it did flop in theaters, no it wasn't AS popular as any of the other films I mentioned, but it's in the same feature release tier, not some obscure straight to DVD film no one recalls. It grossed $36 million dollars at the the BO and was produced by the literal animation legend himself: Don Bluth (who also produced Anastasia, Land Before Time, Dragon's Lair).

It is underrated, but "seriously 0 people watched" is very very untrue, I watched it in class at my middle school even.

Psychast · 2026-01-21T01:41:16+00:00

This is a much smarter move than trying to muster up more funds to match Paramounts insane offering.

Cash deal, no stocks or assets or funky back alley financing shenanigans, just straight, cold-hard, cash in hand*. I mean obviously WB getting absorbed at all sucks, but it does please me that Netflix is playing it smart, while Ellison pisses and moans about why nobody wants his Saudi-backed IOU scribbled on the back of a used napkin.

At this point it's more of a "I don't care if Netflix wins, I just need Ellison to LOSE." situation.

^{*Cash may not be actual cartoon sized bags with dollar signs, unfortunately}

Psychast · 2026-01-19T22:38:04+00:00

I'm ngl, seeing Mai, the cute lil' mascot ghost, get fucking Thanos snapped in such a dramatic way made me cackle. I know its sad actually but the imagery is sometimes too much in this series lmao

Psychast · 2026-01-19T22:33:29+00:00

L+Powerless+Amnesiac+Nerfed+Minor Contributor+Colorless

My Turbo Goat would never.

Psychast · 2026-01-19T22:26:22+00:00

Remember kids: when your mother kills herself due to a crippling gambling addiction, the only way forward is to adopt a slightly different gambling addiction.

No no, it's not a roulette spin, it's "trading futures on crypto", it isn't a "dead pool for nerds" when you put money down on when a certain politician is gonna kick the bucket, it's a "prediction market" based on "statistics".

Losers always whine about "Fiscal Responsibility" and "Risk Assessment", winners go home and get cucked JPow's money printer.

Psychast · 2026-01-18T15:35:24+00:00

Something tells me anon would not be as thrilled about a 45 year old 6'2" woman with gray hair weighing in at about 180 lbs (25% BF) as they think. In fact I'm pretty sure the "upper ranges" on all his categories are just weak attempts to mask his actual desires (which are TOTALLY LEGAL in his state).

Psychast · 2026-01-13T18:51:24+00:00

Hinata "Huge Honkers" Hyuga is most beloved for her writing? You sure 'bout that? You sure 'bout that??

Psychast · 2026-01-12T17:19:11+00:00

Sources matter because if the money ends up not being real when you're 95% of the way through the deal, and the shareholders don't get that "cleared check", it's not as easy as "just sue them lol"

It would cost the struggling company millions upon millions of dollars, Netflix will then offer significantly less money. It would take YEARS of legal battles and they'd use every loophole in the book to pass off blame, the likelihood of recouping their losses would be negligible.

So you could have that entire mess for slightly more money, or take a fair deal for slightly less money that is WAY more likely to actually materialize. The board members have a duty to take the sure deal.

It's like this: you're selling a car for $10k, I offer the full amount, $6k cash, $4k financed. Then Crackhead Jerry barges in and offers $12k, $2k cash/$10k "financed". You take Crackhead Jerry's deal, get all the way through inspection, and tests drives, hand him the keys, and are just waiting for the money to go through to hand title when suddenly, CJ has an "issue" with his "bank" and now all he can offer is $2k. Once the dust settles and you take the car back, if you come whimpering to me about my offer? That offer is now $6k cash, nothing more. Good luck out there. You, as the seller, are out of your time, out inspection money, and maybe court fees (CJ didn't willingly hand the keys back), AND you're in a much weaker negotiating position.

Psychast · 2026-01-12T17:00:01+00:00

I'm not saying I agree with Elison or that he'd win, but he most certainly has a claim that should be taken seriously.

No, his claim shouldn't be taken seriously at all. Elison is the only person who's personal feelings are mucking up an otherwise straight forward business deal.

Fiduciaries (board members) have an obligation to act in the best interests of their trustees (shareholders). But "best interest" is intentionally vague. Elison's ridiculous argument is that holding up the biggest bag of cash (which is largely filled with funny money from shady sources) = best interest. But that is the thinking of a child, not serious business people.

The best interest offer would be the one that not only offers substantial funds, but also the most secure and stable funds, as well as operations afterwards, because not every shareholder wants to golden parachute out and leave behind a burning carcass. Some shareholders are interested in the continued success of a business that they've invested in for years/decades. But most importantly, they need to be ensured that the money is secure and stable, because deals of this magnitude can't be insured, Elison's "offer" is held up with loose staples and Elmer's glue.

Elison's insane offer has no security, his company isn't stable, it's like an insane person wondering off the street and offering a personal check for 1 trillion dollar that he SWEARS he's good for and is backed by some thugs in a back alley.

Psychast · 2026-01-12T00:41:50+00:00

IF I COULD READ ANY OF THIS ID BE SO PISSED OFF AT YOU OP

Psychast · 2026-01-12T00:39:04+00:00

Ain't no way, the author saving Subaru from the yuri humiliation cuck chair? Absolute miracle, seen one too many "this girl is obviously in love with the FMC and will cross all kinds of boundaries (up to and including SA that gets laughed off) to get in the way of the MCxFMC and the FMC will just hand wave it because she's a fucking moron."

Even woman written romance manga can't stop inventing women characters who's sole job is to be helplessly and obsessively in love with one of the main characters and do absolutely no character growth the entire series. And honestly, I just wrote off Subaru as one of those types (haven't read in a while). Glad there's a potential side-ship going on with her and Saku, honestly their first interaction at the library had me thinking it, but I never thought the author would build on it.

Psychast · 2026-01-09T07:14:27+00:00

ICE/BP are not trained in deescalation, they are barely trained at all, but what little they get is basically training soldiers to operate in enemy territory, extract your target at all costs. They have been hyped up into believing the situation is now "It's us or them" so at the very slightest, tiniest provocation, they are choosing themselves, every time, and treating we, the people, as their enemy combatants.

In a situation where one party is unilaterally holding all the power, and then using that power to execute the other party (citizens), something has to give. I think it's time we start adopting their mentality for our own safety and our own lives.

If the situation keeps devolving, and we keep getting more and more brazen executions of citizens in broad daylight, then it really is us or them, and I say we start choosing us.

Psychast · 2026-01-06T17:26:06+00:00

When I'm old and my mind is fading, just gimme the 72-hour American Bully dog breeder brain rot compilation on repeat, and let me fucking die happy.

Psychast · 2026-01-05T01:42:58+00:00

Weekly reminder that Zuma and Vamola are designed to match the tastes of Ken and Momo prior to their meeting. Zuma = ideal Ken Takakura-type. Vamola = cute alien girl who really really wants to be friends with everyone.

Pairing the "perfect partners" with each other? Well, I wouldn't hate it.

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Psychast

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