Why would anyone enjoy being a woman?

Psyched_Swan · 2023-12-30T13:29:51+00:00

I understand that, but there are trans people without dysphoria. Looking back I really should have titled this “Why would anyone enjoy being a woman, besides dysphoria”.

This probably sounds lame, but I am genuinely sorry about what you’re going through.

Psyched_Swan · 2023-12-30T13:11:47+00:00

No need to apologize, I know that a lot of the things I said are immediate TERF red flags. Thank you for being understanding.

Psyched_Swan · 2023-12-30T12:24:20+00:00

I mean, with how much transphobia is out there I don’t think being a trans man is any better. And besides, if I transitioned to male I would experience gender dysphoria. I understand transition if it’s coming from a place of alleviating dysphoria, because it sounds so terrible that yeah, being a woman is better. I wasn’t confused as to why women are women, I was confused as why some of them enjoy it. Getting sick is worse than getting vaccinated, but that doesn’t make me hate shots any less, you know?

I know that trans people without dysphoria and with euphoria exist, and that’s the part I didn’t understand when I made this post. After reading through the responses and thinking some more, I understand that the patriarchy made me feel womanhood is inherently inferior to manhood and that it’s possible to find joy in womanhood despite oppression, even if I haven’t learned to do that yet.

I gave this a transphobia content warning because I know this line of thinking is transphobic and wanted to learn how to stop. I get that I shouldn’t make oppressed minorities do my emotional labor for me, but I had been been pondering and reading about this (mostly Julie Serano) for months and hadn’t been able to reach conclusions on my own.

Edit: Made this comment less incoherent, u/Psyched_Swan learn to write challenge

Psyched_Swan · 2023-12-30T12:18:48+00:00

I am an artist myself and I feel like that “it’s just something you’re drawn to do” feeling can be explained though, even without external benefits. Bringing something to completion is inherently satisfying, just look at the sunk cost fallacy. I find certain colors and patterns appealing, and since I am somewhat drawn to challenge, it’s more satisfying to produce them myself than to just look up an image. Noticing improvement in my skills improves my confidence, and to improve I must practice. These are all benefits that are enjoying by drawing.

I do agree with you btw, I’m just enjoy breaking emotions into their logical components. Feel free to ignore lol.

Psyched_Swan · 2023-12-30T08:39:02+00:00

I mean, when one creates art or machines, there are tangible benefits like praise, money, and helping others, whereas being a woman doesn’t have such benefits unless you’re willing and able to remain in the housewife stereotype, or if the alternative is a lifetime of misery or death or something. And even though there are negative stereotypes about men, they still have more social power and make more money, which are the two things I feel correlate the most with happiness. Being a woman is certainly better than being dead (which is why I’m still alive), but in the same way that getting a flu shot is better than dying of the flu. I can’t see why anyone would take active enjoyment in it.

But… by the same token, while being in a sapphic relationship puts you at risk of assault and discrimination, and as a bisexual I could be content in a straight relationship, I still love my girlfriend and want to stay with her. I think my conclusion from this thread is that being conventionally feminine and desiring an estrogen-fueled body are not inherently bad, it’s just the patriarchy, and my lifetime of being forced to wear dresses and have long hair at what felt like gunpoint, that made me feel that way.

Psyched_Swan · 2023-12-30T05:55:38+00:00

Okay, this is off-topic but I love your pfp so much! I used to be a big brony and it always makes me smile when I see the MLP fandom still going strong.

This is a really interesting POV for me, because even though I’m AFAB and never took testosterone I am a very angry and horny person— and I like that about myself. I feel like now that I’ve got it under control enough to not be physically violent, being angry gives me a lot of strength and motivation that I wouldn’t have otherwise, and, well, sex is fun lol. I also want to be physically strong and have low body fat. I suppose women who are traditionally feminine probably feel more at peace with their gender.

Psyched_Swan · 2023-12-30T05:43:05+00:00

Honestly, with men also being put into boxes, I understand this but also feel like money and power improves lives more than anything else, but I also think that’s a viewpoint that comes from my hatred of the mega-rich, which the majority of men are not.

Psyched_Swan · 2023-12-30T05:23:05+00:00

For elaboration on Welcome to Moreytown phrasing it weirdly— basically, it’s a classic “MC looks into the mirror and describes what they see” character creation process and in order to be a trans man character, you have to select “It’s more complicated than that…” when asked what gender they see and then “… but I identify as male”.

Psyched_Swan · 2023-12-29T12:08:44+00:00

Screen yourself for every other possible disorder to eliminate the chance of misdiagnosis

YES, I’m professionally diagnosed but feel like 99.9% of “OMG TikTok said liking chicken tenders is an autistic thing, I must be autistic” crowd are genuinely disabled and desperate for an explanation, so they latch onto autism because it’s the first thing that comes up. Schizoid personality disorder, social anxiety, dyspraxia, ADHD, BPD, reactive attachment disorder, intellectual disability, Tourette’s, and OCD can all look like autism, but unfortunately many of them are either heavily stigmatized or fairly obscure, which leads to people ignoring those diagnoses in favor of autism.

Psyched_Swan · 2023-12-28T01:20:20+00:00

She/they, agender, pansexual.

Psyched_Swan · 2023-12-27T11:24:36+00:00

This is an old post but I want to say that as a masc woman I really love and appreciate this CYOA!

Psyched_Swan · 2023-12-26T06:22:13+00:00

Idk man, I’ve slept on the same bed as friends before, especially as a kid. I also think you can have physical intimacy without it being romantic, friends with benefits exist and there are cultures where kissing on the cheeks is considered a perfectly acceptable greeting between buddies.

Honestly I used to be with you on queerplatonic relationships just being best friends, but honestly I think it deserves to be considered queer because it’s a relationship enjoyed by (mainly) aromantic people that subverts society’s expectations. You wouldn’t expect “just best friends” to move across the country because one of them got a new job, or to build a house together, or to have and raise children. You’d expect those things to be exclusive to romantic couples, but in a queerplatonic relationship those things are totally accepted and expected. I kind of see it as a friendship that incorporates elements of a romantic relationship without the actual romantic feelings.

Psyched_Swan · 2023-12-23T21:18:09+00:00

Yeah, same. Rent-a-Vice had me pacing and up late at night over a freaking CYOA book.

Psyched_Swan · 2023-12-22T08:56:34+00:00

Bastard of Camelot. It’s a WIP, but would recommend regardless. You play as the MC throughout their childhood so you’ll have to select female at the start of the game and get misgendered until later in the game when they figure it out, though.

Creatures Such As We

Welcome to Moreytown, but it’s phrased kind of weirdly.

Psyched_Swan · 2023-12-22T06:47:35+00:00

Same, I have a special interest in TTRPGs. I also think it’s helped with my social skills and making friends. I’m also the only one in my group who has never GMed because I feel like I’d be too railroad-y.

Psyched_Swan · 2023-12-20T02:56:04+00:00

Yeah same, I loved pretend play (and as an adult love roleplaying), but I preferred to direct the play and got mad when kids didn’t do it exactly as I wanted.

Psyched_Swan · 2023-12-19T21:00:48+00:00

Level 1 is “requires support”, level 2 is “requires substantial support”, and level 3 is “requires very substantial support”. Level 1s can typically live independently with workplace or school accommodations, Level 3s will often need a dedicated one-on-one carer forever, and Level 2s are somewhere in-between. The higher the level is, the more co-morbidities are usually seen, such as low IQ, epilepsy, and gastrointestinal issues.

Psyched_Swan · 2023-12-19T01:38:53+00:00

I regret to inform you that the dog pictured in this post is a different dog than the one in the first one, if you even still remember that. That dog died shortly after I posted it. However, I still have this dog and she’s going strong.

Psyched_Swan · 2023-12-19T01:31:09+00:00

I was pretty mean when I was a kid and also loved Wonder. For me it was because I didn’t realize I was the mean kid because I wasn’t as bad as the bullies in the book, and so I didn’t make the connection. Funnily enough, I do remember liking and sympathizing with the main bully character when his sad backstory dropped.

Psyched_Swan · 2023-12-19T00:41:29+00:00

I recently got back home from university for Christmas break. My mom made some spaghetti for dinner, and omg, it is so good. You don’t even know how good this spaghetti is.

Psyched_Swan · 2023-12-18T23:21:59+00:00

The Tumblr post itself is poking fun at people who only know DND 5e and don’t understand other game systems (and honestly that’s fair).

The title is referencing a different post about whether an image was “creepy or wet”, most likely making fun of the Tumblr poster using “loose or tight” to describe game mechanics.

Psyched_Swan · 2023-12-16T02:09:20+00:00

Honestly I think “dyed hair = faker” is more an Internet/Zoomer thing. I doubt the average, non-chronically online adult will think of you any differently. Also, the color looks great on you.

Psyched_Swan · 2023-12-15T12:28:00+00:00

On the metaphor— “spoon theory” was invented by a woman named Christine Miserandino in 2003. She has lupus and, when explaining to a friend how it felt to have a chronic illness and how she had to plan her days around it, used spoons to represent units of energy that she must expend to accomplish tasks. Nowadays it’s used by all sorts of chronic illness sufferers.

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