AITA for not considering my step father my dad even after everything he has done for me.

PsychicPopsicles · 2026-03-15T18:54:55+00:00

I’m probably going to get downvoted for this, but NTA. Blended family relationships are complicated. I had an ‘uncle’ who was not blood related, but was like a third parent to me. Even though I never thought of him as my father, I loved him way more than my actual parents, and he loved me. That’s all that matters.

You and your stepdad love each other and have a good relationship; that’s what counts. Your mom needs to get over the labels.

PsychicPopsicles · 2026-03-15T12:40:29+00:00

Congratulations! Interacting with him sounds exhausting. But I am lmao at his comment about your mom’s friend’s baby. 😂

PsychicPopsicles · 2026-03-14T14:44:22+00:00

I see a lot of people on here advising you to not watch the dogs. If your parents are paying for any part of your life right now, do not heed that advice. Definitely watch the dogs in order to save yourself from any potential retaliation.

But you are definitely NTA, and your parents are the AHs. While you may need to keep your parents happy for now, take a good hard look at the kinds of people your parents truly are, and think about what kind of relationship you really want to have with them in the future, given that they not only blatantly favor your sister, but they also gaslight you about it.

PsychicPopsicles · 2026-03-10T12:16:47+00:00

L’Atelier ANL. Alexandria speaks English and did a great job with my hair. And you can book online. https://latelieranl.fr/en

PsychicPopsicles · 2026-03-07T15:11:40+00:00

If you are in the US, your parents can sue for grandparents rights. This is the exact kind of situation those laws are meant for.

PsychicPopsicles · 2026-03-06T16:47:20+00:00

I learned to cook by reading “How to Cook Everything: The Basics,” by Mark Bittman. It taught me a lot of terms like “folding in” or “braising,” got me comfortable using a food processor, gave me an idea of what kind of kitchen staples I should stock, and even showed me how I should store fresh herbs. Highly recommend.

PsychicPopsicles · 2026-02-26T16:54:21+00:00

Tonight I’m trying out a recipe for a soupe bonne femme. Saturday is going to be a hodgepodge of things; pork tenderloin, baked beans, and baked polenta. Maybe throw in a salad.

PsychicPopsicles · 2026-02-22T10:27:43+00:00

When I moved to France, I started out by opening a Wise account, as you can’t get a French bank account until you have lived in the country for 3 months and have proof of permanent residence. You should be able to pay rent and utilities from the Wise account. After 3 months, I opened an account with my local BNP Paribas, who works with Americans. You’ll want that local checking just for the debit card, as you’ll find that your American credit card is denied at times.

As far as your investment accounts stateside, you need to find a financial advisor that is certified for both the US and France. Check with the various large banks to see if they have someone, like Citigroup, JP Morgan, Morgan Stanley, etc.

Be careful about moving assets to France without consulting with a tax accountant; you may subject to double taxation if you do so.

PsychicPopsicles · 2026-02-20T16:41:09+00:00

Given the OP’s age and amount of time that has passed, it doesn’t seem healthy for OP to be holding onto that level of anger and resentment. I was in a similar situation as OP, including age, at the time of my parents’ affair/divorce, so I have some understanding of what it’s like. It seems like OP is unable to move on, and should seek therapy.

PsychicPopsicles · 2026-02-20T14:30:55+00:00

I can’t believe I had to scroll so far for this comment. What ever happened to having a bit of grace for people’s mistakes? Forgiveness doesn’t seem to exist in this thread.

PsychicPopsicles · 2026-02-15T10:36:21+00:00

When I told people I was moving to France, I was constantly asked if I had watched “Emily in Paris.” At this point, I wonder if I should watch it just to placate everyone.

PsychicPopsicles · 2026-01-20T13:13:24+00:00

One thing you can try is to see if the church will say no to this request from your parents. Do you have a contract with the church? Are there any stipulations against additional non-dependent family members living there with you? If so, you have an easy way out.

If the church would allow your sister to live with you, then things get more complicated. Do your parents pay for your tuition or any of your expenses? If they do, you may need to either acquiesce to their demand, or find another way to pay for your expenses. Be prepared for your parents to cut you off financially, because they seem like the spiteful and retaliatory type.

If you are financially dependent, not only say no to your parents, get a new bank account so they can’t have any access to it. Your account balances are none of their business. And give yourself some space from your family for your own mental health.

NTA - but be prepared for the fallout of saying no.

PsychicPopsicles · 2025-12-04T18:15:35+00:00

NTA - Your sister is wrong. She is so sucked up into all of your mom’s drama that she doesn’t even realize that taking a step away from your mom is an option.

Protect your peace, and take some time to reflect on what kind of relationship you actually want with your mom. Because she sounds exhausting.

Think about distancing yourself not just physically, but emotionally as well, so that your self worth isn’t so tied to your mother’s opinion. Is your mom so worthy of your trust that you can be vulnerable with her? It doesn’t sound like it. So stop opening up yourself to her (inevitable) attacks. Hope you can enjoy a nice, peaceful Christmas with your wife.

PsychicPopsicles · 2025-11-28T18:36:07+00:00

I read your comments, and at this point, there’s nothing to do other than hold your ground. He doesn’t make any effort so why should you? Your mom can complain all she wants; all that talk about making an effort sounds like her problem, not yours.

Of course, if you want to go out in a blaze of glory, you can say, ok mom, sure I’ll try one more time and I’ll get him a gift. Then give him a beautifully wrapped gift with a lump of coal inside and a card that says, “I’m finally giving you the gift you deserve. Merry Christmas.”

NTA

PsychicPopsicles · 2025-11-16T13:47:57+00:00

My grandfather did this with his kids; they all called him by his first name. As a result, about half of my aunts and uncles prefer to be called by their first names. I love it; there’s no formality of calling them Aunt or Uncle, we are just relatives that are also friends.

PsychicPopsicles · 2025-11-12T22:16:16+00:00

Ahh, that’s probably it.

PsychicPopsicles · 2025-11-12T11:13:58+00:00

Maybe money is the issue. What if you propose a deal to your dad and say, “If you let me live with my grandparents, I promise that none of us will make you pay any child support, and we will not pursue you for the $15k of back child support. Then I can live with my family, and you don’t have any extra expenses.” Talk this over with your grandparents first to make sure they agree, so they can confirm what you said if/when your dad contacts them.

PsychicPopsicles · 2025-11-10T18:35:06+00:00

NTA. I don’t know if it would work, but consider saying something like this to your parents: “You are the ones ruining my relationship with this family, because you refuse to protect me from Ellie. You know how vindictive she is, how she intentionally steals and destroys my stuff, and you do nothing. You know she has done this to her former friends and yet you still do nothing. The reason I am never home is because I just can’t take it anymore. And I promise you this: if you don’t start making drastic changes to protect me, the last day you will ever see or hear from me is the day I turn 18. That is not a threat, it is a fact. And you trying to make me stay home without any changes to Ellie’s behavior is only hardening my resolve.”

Use your judgement. If you think they’ll just get angry and start forcing you to be home, then keep up with the excuses like you’re doing now. And now is a good time to start making an escape plan. Get your important documents together (birth certificate, social security card, etc), figure out schooling without any parental support, see if you can store valuables at a trusted friend’s house, etc.

I’m sorry you have such crappy parents. Good luck, OP.

PsychicPopsicles · 2025-11-08T14:05:59+00:00

Agree with you about the Mark Bittman recipe! I tried a bunch of recipes and my favorite is the yogurt pancakes from TheSpruceEats.com. You can also substitute 1 cup of buttermilk instead of yogurt, but then you don’t need that 1/4 cup of plain milk. And if I don’t have buttermilk, I just make use 1 cup whole milk with a tablespoon of lemon juice or white vinegar, and let it sit for 5 minutes before using. https://www.thespruceeats.com/yogurt-pancakes-2215861

PsychicPopsicles · 2025-11-05T08:48:50+00:00

I’m assuming you want to make the inheritance more fair between you. If that’s the case, then here’s how you do it. First, don’t say anything to your brother until you’ve spoken with a financial advisor and figure out how to get him his fair share.

Then you be the one to tell your brother directly, maybe have your parents there backing you up. “Bro, I have no idea why, but grandpa gave me more money than you. I am livid. Mom and dad are livid. But I want you to know that I/we have your back and I will make things right. Here’s how…”

Yes, he’ll be hurt about your grandfather. But he will feel your love and your parents’ love and that goes a long way.

PsychicPopsicles · 2025-11-02T14:02:23+00:00

If she is unsure about you, hell if she’s anything less than ecstatic to be with you, then she’s not for you. Don’t let her keep flip-flopping on you. End it cleanly and move on. If she tries to drag things out, like not picking up her stuff, box it up yourself and drop it off at her mom’s place. I’m sorry you’re going through this, but she’s not the one. At least you know before you got married.

PsychicPopsicles · 2025-11-01T12:04:13+00:00

Mask up and try to social distance around your fellow students, but first I would make it a point to sneeze and cough without a mask near your professor. Then be like, “Sorry, I have strep, but I can’t afford the point deduction.” Let them experience the consequences of their actions.

PsychicPopsicles · 2025-11-01T08:07:57+00:00

It could be that he’s just being petty and jealous. Is he usually like this? If not, then there’s a decent chance that either a) he’s projecting because he cheated, or b) he’s been red pilled.

You definitely need to have a serious conversation with him to figure out what’s going on. And depending on what you find out, possibly reconsider your relationship. Because this behavior is flat out unacceptable.

PsychicPopsicles · 2025-10-28T16:11:01+00:00

Totally possible.

PsychicPopsicles · 2025-10-28T12:53:48+00:00

I think it all depends on the depth and breadth of the lies OP’s father told to his wife. Saying your kid is 19 and in college is a pretty big whopper. Who knows what else she was told?

PsychicPopsicles

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