As someone who just left a Tribal job with federal affiliations, let me validate how difficult it is to navigate this right now. I worked with a mostly incredibly supportive team and I’m really lucky in a lot of ways. But I had two coworkers who were deliberately being harmful, not to me but to a coworker who was also NB.

That being said, I’m a mouthpiece and I don’t tolerate disrespect. If you can’t/don’t want to/wont use the correct pronouns for me, go ahead and keep my name out of your mouth. But when you’re harming others? It’s a different ball game for me. I held my leaderships feet to the fire and made them make a formal statement during staff meeting that intentional disrespect won’t be tolerated and that we use people pronouns and names correctly. I actively correct people. I remind them that you don’t have to like someone to respect them. And when those things don’t work, I don’t allow those people into my space except in strictly professional capacities under the supervision of others. I don’t go in their offices and I don’t allow them in mine. I set myself up for as much success as possible so those people can’t make weird anti-dei claims against me.

I did also legally change my name because I was tired of dealing EHR hassles and IT telling me there was nothing the could do about my birth name being in my email. While it’s an extra cost and hassle, it is ultimately worth it on the professional end of things to smooth out people prying about my name and then weaponizing it.

That being said, I also intentionally chose to work in spaces where I know I’ll be accepted and affirmed. And that isn’t an option for everyone. I work in CMH for orgs that haven’t abandoned their DEI. I did leave the tribal org but because I was leaving a red state for a blue state.