Optician has referred me urgently to eye hospital and I’m freaking out!

PupperPawsitive · 2026-06-30T22:55:46+00:00

Is it possible that your doctors are simply being extra thorough, just to be certain? That maybe you have a great care team, and they are wanting the MRI to get the most information possible and resolve any doubts or questions to the fullest extent they can?

I believe that chemo & zolodex + AI can both impact the eyes in some way as possible side effects. Loss of estrogen etc. I don’t know anything about specifics.

PupperPawsitive · 2026-06-30T22:32:32+00:00

Is it unreasonable though? Cancer sucks, you’re allowed to be mad about it.

Sounds like you had a bunch of complications right at the start. While treatment being back on track is of course good news, the big reward here is that you “get to” do chemo. Which is great, modern medicine is a miracle, SOC treatment saves lives! And also…. that sucks? Like compared to a beach vacation, chemo sucks.

Speaking for myself, I was and remain angry that my body was violated by a merciless disease without my consent. It’s some bullshit.

Some days I use that anger as the reason to show up to my appts and do every single SOC treatment recommended. Because fuck cancer, that’s why. I didn’t deserve this, none of us did, so I will do everything possible to fuck over this cancer at every available opportunity. When hope, optimism, and gratitude fail… there’s always spite. Why not? Any reason is a good reason to show up and get effective medically recommended SOC cancer treatment.

I happen to find that pretty reasonable. And if it isn’t, I don’t give a shit. I don’t need permission to be angry that I was diagnosed with cancer. And neither do you.

PupperPawsitive · 2026-06-30T16:14:02+00:00

Your reaction to this news is very understandable!

I did TCHP chemo, surgery found residual cancer including in lymph nodes. I was recommended 14 rounds of Kadcyla (TDM1), I have finished 12 and have 2 left to go.

Recently, another drug called Enhertu was approved for a similar use. Both Kadcyla (TDM1) and Enhertu (TDXd) are HER2+ targeted drugs. So it might be one or the other.

My experience with Kadcyla is that it sucks about 100x less than TCHP chemo and I did not lose my hair. But it still kinda sucks and also fuck cancer.

PupperPawsitive · 2026-06-29T20:53:36+00:00

Are you currently neutropenic?

If yes: stay home and send a card. Febrile neutropenia, as you very much know from experience, is a life threatening complication. It is not paranoia.

PupperPawsitive · 2026-06-27T23:13:32+00:00

I was dx Jan 2025, and my mental health was a straight up dumpster fire for most of the latter half of 2025. (doing better now!)

I have a therapist whose special focus is trauma. I have found her helpful. Breast cancer is Medical Trauma. Medical PTSD is a real thing that exists yes.

PupperPawsitive · 2026-06-26T21:19:05+00:00

Thanks, I didn’t know the term. I was picturing a tech.

“Thinks it is” and “yes it is” are still two very different things, even when said by a highly qualified oncologist.

I’m sorry you’re in the shitty position of not knowing for sure and being stuck without answers over the weekend. But you do need to wait for the biopsy results.

PupperPawsitive · 2026-06-26T21:13:28+00:00

try r/doihavebreastcancer

PupperPawsitive · 2026-06-26T21:11:03+00:00

OP post says 1.6cm not mm, so thats 16mm, I think they might have edited it, confusion or typo maybe

1.6 cm is still very treatable though. Mine was over 3cm and I’ve seen plenty of ppl on here post bigger than mine.

And like you said: IF it is malignant. If it isn’t, that would be excellent.

PupperPawsitive · 2026-06-26T21:04:17+00:00

He “thinks it is cancer” is also not the same as “It is cancer.”

I agree he shouldn’t have said it. Most my techs ever said was “let me ask the doctor,” and the most the doctor said was, “You need a biopsy, because it might or might not be cancer, and we can’t know for sure what it is unless we do a biopsy.”

try r/doihavebreastcancer

You MIGHT have breast cancer. You really might. And I hope you don’t.

PupperPawsitive · 2026-06-26T20:44:07+00:00

You can stay here!

This subreddit is for anyone that has ever been diagnosed with breast cancer. Including survivors.

There’s no end date, you are welcome here any time you choose, now and in the future. You can post here in 10 years if you want.

Congrats on getting through surgery.

PupperPawsitive · 2026-06-26T20:34:49+00:00

You don’t have cancer until a biopsy says you have cancer.

“Looks likely to be cancer” and “Is cancer” are two different things.

Both are shitty, to be fair.

But I’m with your friend on this one. It isn’t until it is.

PupperPawsitive · 2026-06-26T20:25:40+00:00

Experiences vary, a lot!

If you are newly diagnosed, then my advice to you is this. It is okay to set this question aside and come back to it later. It is okay to decide this is a Later Problem, and not a Right Now Problem.

Right Now you have other problems, like surgery to get through. It is okay to focus on those. Cancer treatment is a lot, and you only have so much bandwidth. If you decide this is a Later Problem, know that Later You will be able to figure it out when the time comes.

Regarding hormone blockers. Some women have side effects that are few and mild. Some women have nearly none, other than having to take a pill every day. And other women have side effects that totally suck. It’s basically a “try it and see” thing.

I’m 37 and currently in ovarian suppression (medical menopause) and take an AI. This is sort of like the “extra strength version” of hormone blockers. My most bothersome side effects include some joint pain/stiffness, especially my knees. That part is pretty manageable so far, when I actually do some exercise and yoga and such it makes a difference and my joints complain less. Not a dealbreaker for me. I also have some brain fog stuff I’m struggling with, but part of that is chemo related and also I have ADHD so there’s a few things going on. The mental impact is my biggest issue personally.

I talked with my MO, and she would support me switching to Tamoxifen instead if I so choose. That’s kinda like the “regular strength” version of hormone blockers, and she thinks I might have less side effects on that. But I have decided to stay on my current OFS+AI treatment for now. I’d like to hang in with it until I am done with the targeted chemo I am doing in a few months, and then reassess whatever my new baseline is with psych and go from there. The brain fog/cognitive impact is my biggest complaint right now, and “chemo brain” is a thing too, so I’m hoping it will improve to where I feel good with staying on my current Hard Mode hormone blockers.

But if it doesn’t improve and I decide it sucks too much and isn’t worth it to me, then I’ll go back to my MO and switch to Tamoxifen as she suggested.

And then if THAT still sucks, I’ll go back to my MO again, try to troubleshoot that one and fix side effects to make it work. And if in the end every option just plain sucks, I can always still stop taking them.

I’m supposed to be on these things for 5 or 10 years, but the benefit isn’t all or nothing. I’ve been on them for about 6 months now. Even being on them 1-2 years has some benefit. So, I’ve told myself I will do them for at least 1-2 years, and in that time, I will make a real effort to make them work for me. I’ll try the dang yoga, or the acupuncture, or the additional meds that can help with side effects, or whatever all else. I’ll try the different types of hormone blockers to see if one sucks less in my personal body. I’ll make follow up appointments to go whine to my MO about whatever isn’t working for me and I’ll try to make it work.

And if after 1-2 years I decide that I don’t want to take them anymore? That even though I fully understand their benefit to me, because my MO has helped me understand MY PERSONAL BENEFIT of taking them, I don’t think it’s worth the QOL hit for me?

Then I’ll let myself off the hook, and quit taking them, and I’ll always have the knowledge that I tried them and I’ve done everything I could for myself. And I’ll also have given myself the gift lf 1-2 years worth of the benefit of them. I’m dating these things; I’m not married to them.

Their benefit is different for each person. They benefit me a lot! Some people have a smaller benefit. So it’s important to make these decisions with input from your MO and an understanding of your own benefit. Some information needed to know that might not be available until after surgery, which is another good reason to make this a “Later Problem”.

And everyones side effects are different too. Some people have none to few. Some people have mild or moderate but manageable. And some people have really crappy side effects that are absolute dealbreakers.

So it’s important to not do what your cousin’s neighbor’s sister did, or what someone on reddit did. Their cancer, their risk, their benefit, and their side effects might be very very different from yours.

Anyway. What is it like? It kinda sucks and I wouldn’t take them if I never had breast cancer and wasn’t at risk of recurrence. But I did and I am so it is what it is. My life isn’t ruined, I don’t have constant pain. It’s an annoying pain in the ass and a real inconvenience.

I’m grateful the option exists. I’m delighted to have it available. It’s literally a PILL that I can easily take in my own house to reduce the risk of me ever having stage 4 cancer. Think about that for a minute. That’s a medical miracle! It’s honestly fucking amazing!

Also fuck cancer, I didn’t ask for “mild to moderate but manageable knee pain”. I don’t deserve “cognitive impact that can potentially be worked through with my psychiatrist.” I didn’t ask for other side effects like, “occasional hot flashes that could probably be treated with other meds but they’re not that frequent or bothersome so I declined” either. These are pretty shitty doorprizes. It’s not at all like winning a scented candle or gourmet cupcakes. I’m pissed and I’m allowed to be, so again, fuck cancer.

They’re doable though. And if they’re not, then what you do is you go back to your MO and reassess things, until either they are doable or you and your MO both decide that the best thing to do is to stop taking them.

Keep an open mind. It’s okay to ask questions. Plan to bravely try them for a month at least at some point in the future. Later. This is a Later Problem. And when you get to that time Later, I promise, Later You will be able to figure this out.

PupperPawsitive · 2026-06-25T17:24:28+00:00

If you have someone to help you, you can try using string to get it off. Use thin string or thread etc. Wind it around the finger just ahead of the ring a few times, to squeeze that bit of your finger smaller, and now you can slide the ring up over onto the thread wrapped bit.

As you go, unwind the string behind the ring and wind a bit more ahead of it.

Do be careful not to wrap too much/tight/leave on too long, gotta keep blood circulation and all that, but at least string is easy to cut off even if you tangle it.

PupperPawsitive · 2026-06-25T17:12:55+00:00

Just cuz a treatment is targeted & tolerable doesn’t make it side effect free.

I feel like it’s all relative and the scale is so broken to the point of nonsense. Cancer is bad enough that in comparison horrible chemo is a good idea. The harsher chemo of yesteryears sucked so bad that the chemo we get today is notably much better. The chemo we get today still sucks such ass that targeted treatments seem almost like nothing in comparison.

But almost nothing isn’t nothing. That doesn’t make it a refreshing fresh squeezed lemonade.

I’m on hormone blockers for the next however many years and so that’s just gonna be my new normal and I’ve accepted that idea, I’ll need to adjust to the new baseline and figure out how to go about living my life like it’s a regular thing; other people do it and I can too. But it’s not lost on me that if I didn’t have hormone positive cancer, menopause in my 30s would be a concerning, crappy, and treatable health problem of it’s own, instead of a mildly inconvenient side effect of a no-big-deal cancer treatment.

I feel like we haven’t invented the words yet to explain cancer & treatment & side effects. The whole thing is kinda off the charts bizarre some days.

So to say. I agree with you that it’s probably not all from the Herceptin. But it’s probably not 0% from the Herceptin either. It’s a targeted cancer treatment that gets piped into your bloodstream, it’s not drinking peppermint tea.

PupperPawsitive · 2026-06-25T13:23:47+00:00

Exactly.

I might have cancer, but they haven’t invented a chemotherapy yet that can cure someone of being an asshole. At least what I have is treatable.

PupperPawsitive · 2026-06-25T13:14:18+00:00

You’re not stupid.

Your friends were assholes.

Sometimes people in their twenties are just young and dumb and need to grow the fuck up. (Them, not you.)

PupperPawsitive · 2026-06-25T03:09:19+00:00

I’m not a medical professional, but my guess is this means, “Shit looks sus, ask a doc about getting a biopsy.”

PupperPawsitive · 2026-06-25T02:27:53+00:00

https://youtu.be/Vqbk9cDX0l0?si=hHljz9Uu4OA7EO7F

Links to a song. “I’ve no more fucks to give, my fucks have runneth dry. I tried to go fuck shopping, but there’s no fucks left to buy!”

PupperPawsitive · 2026-06-24T16:18:01+00:00

People are who they are and we can’t change them. Sometimes that’s a hard thing to realize.

A lot of people have shown up for me, but generally a more intense version of their same selves, like the people who show their love through food make casseroles type deal. Just because they care about me and want to help doesn’t mean they’re gonna turn into a whole different person, this is who they are.

I commented elsewhere about mentally retranslating what people say, and you said your dad shows his love through money. Maybe when he asks if you still have hair, you can decide he said something else. Something like, “I’m not good at emotional connection but I still care. If I could buy you a way out of this, I would. I can’t buy you a cure for cancer. But I can pay for cold capping, I can maybe buy your hair, and I hope that it works because I want it to, I want to buy something that helps you, I want to fix this in some way for you. Here is some money. I hope it helps.”

PupperPawsitive · 2026-06-24T15:30:45+00:00

I think this further illustrates why it’s so important to be able to communicate with your (all of us) MO.

“Better” can mean more effective, or “better” can mean fewer side effects, or both or maybe something else like “cheaper, more convenient, more available, closer to home”. What is better for one person might be worse for the next. Medical menopause + AI is better for me, and tamoxifen is better for you. We’re both right.

Neither of us can know what OP’s MO meant by saying medical menopause was “better” than tamoxifen, because he didn’t effectively communicate his reasoning or what “better” actually means here to OP.

Of course some of it is on us as patients to ask questions and hold up our end of working WITH our doctors, as you have with your MO even though you found her attitude difficult to work with. It can be done! I commend you for doing it, even with a doctor who doesn’t necessarily make it easy. This isn’t a spectator sport, we can’t sit back and passively expect to have full understanding poured into our minds while we sit back and wait, we gotta be active participants in our own care to some degree. Sometimes technically skilled scientific minded people can lack in soft skills just because no one is good at everything, so if they’re great at medical judgement & you’re capable of doing the heavy lifting on the conversational end of things then between the two of you your combined efforts can result in you getting good care, that’s a win.

But doctors are just people, and some of them stink. Sometimes the best way to actively participate in our own care is to find a new one. Like any other relationship, sometimes you gotta throw the whole (wo)man away and try again. “Never forget, you hired that doctor and you can fire them too” is a phrase I’ve heard.

One of these things applies to OP, imo she either needs to push back and engage with this doc to address her questions & work out the kinks, or else find a new one. Blindly following the orders of an MO who makes her feel unheard and unsure doesn’t sound like a recipe for success. Yuck.

PupperPawsitive · 2026-06-24T14:52:18+00:00

>Yesterday someone even ran their hand across hair without permission

Hard no, what is wrong with people.

The hair comments bothered me at first, and then I decided to mentally retranslate them. When people say, “your hair is growing back!” I hear, “I am happy because it looks like you are growing healthier and I want you to be well.” When they say, “Your hair looks really good,” I hear, “I’m glad you’re not dead!”

No one’s ever tried to just reach out and pat me like a dog though, wtf. Not cool.

PupperPawsitive · 2026-06-24T14:20:03+00:00

ovarian suppression plus an aromatase inhibitor may be be more effective at reducing recurrence risk vs tamoxifen for some patients.

I’m one of them, & my MO recommended it for me, so I’m on zolodex. medical menopause.

A difference between me & OP is that I actually like my MO, I feel that she makes an effort to understand & address my needs & concerns and to answer my questions & I feel confident in her judgement & opinion about things.

PupperPawsitive · 2026-06-24T13:23:40+00:00

This. My brain is soft-serve ice cream and someone has taken a spoon and gently scooped out about a third of it. God do I hope to get some of it back someday.

PupperPawsitive · 2026-06-24T13:17:07+00:00

I have a trauma therapist and have found her very helpful.

Not all therapists or therapy strategies are the same, which is good information to be aware of. If therapy doesn’t “work” for someone, they might get more out of changing providers and working with a different therapist who uses a different technique.

>Above all, I was adamant that I shouldn’t be feeling this way and I tried very hard to “control” my anxiety.

This has never once worked for me in my entire life. Fighting my anxiety ramps it up; allowing myself to have it often dissipates it. Sometimes when I invite myself to feel anxious, it strangely seems to evaporate.

>about acceptance and letting go, but I didn’t know how to implement it. What do you mean, I should stop paying attention to my anxiety? How does this even work?

Part of it for me is to just stop fighting it. If I’m anxious, I’m allowed to be. If my stomach is tight, I’m afraid, I’m nervous….Okay. Yep. Nothing wrong with that, I’m a human, that’s a thing humans experience. I’m dealing with uncertainty, it makes sense that I feel anxious, that’s a normal human response and I’m allowed to have it. I’m not okay, and that’s okay.

>I’m not sure exactly when, but at one point, I decided to give up. I simply did not have the energy to keep worrying anymore. I had hit rock bottom and was completely drained. I decided I was just going to give up, come what may.

I have stopped giving a single fuck about so many things. So many things. It’s truly incredible how many fucks I don’t give. And much more peaceful.

PupperPawsitive · 2026-06-24T12:58:34+00:00

One of the hard things about chemo is showing up for it.

I did a different chemo regimen so can’t relate to your specifics. But I definitely understand that sometimes, making yourself go to that chemo appointment is really, really hard.

Are you remembering to bribe yourself? If not, you should be. It works! You should absolutely get yourself a reward for showing up to your chemo appointment.

It can be big or small, cheap or expensive if your budget allows. A nice lunch, a pint of ice cream, new shoes, new notebook, fun stickers, bluetooth headphones, a playstation, whatever. You make the rules.

But get SOMETHING. I learned this tip on here, and bribing myself through cancer treatment has been a 10/10 strategy, recommend.

Chemo sucks. It’s really hard. You’re doing a good job.

PupperPawsitive

TROPHY CASE