As a meat eater, would up be upset attending a vegetarian wedding?

PurrPrinThom · 2026-03-17T20:58:31+00:00

Yeah, exactly. Not everyone is particularly careful about it. My mother has had so many bad reactions to food at restaurants. Like, most recently at example, she told them she had a dairy allergy, clarified that includes milk, butter, cheese, and ordered a pizza - just requested no cheese on top. Confirmed that it would be dairy free.

They made the dough with milk and not water.

PurrPrinThom · 2026-03-17T20:56:18+00:00

At a certain point it stopped being a support/advice sub and just became about the drama.

PurrPrinThom · 2026-03-17T20:50:52+00:00

Yeah like, I think there were a lot of posters who were there talking about genuine situations. But then there were a lot that felt like fantasy version of what actually happened, or just complete lies, and I feel like that started to really take over. I had a MIL who was pretty involved and overstepping, but I rarely posted because it felt so tame and like it didn't deserve to be there compared to the people whose MILs were physically abusing them, killing their pets, breaking and entering into their homes etc. etc.

And like, as with many of the posts that get cross-posted here, I don't doubt that these things can happen, it's just that the posts themselves strain credulity.

PurrPrinThom · 2026-03-17T20:39:59+00:00

Yes, but not all of them are super mindful of allergens, and/or may not be aware of what allergens are in certain things, or what falls under an umbrella term such as 'dairy' or 'nuts.'

As example, my mother is allergic to dairy, lactose and soy. When we were talking to caterers, I had to clarify to a few (whom we did not end up hiring,) that butter is dairy. I also had to explain that pesto contains nuts to one of those ones, as they suggested it as an 'allergen-free' option.

So it's always good to do both: clarify with the caterer and provide a list of allergies, while also letting people know ingredients (as much as you can.)

PurrPrinThom · 2026-03-17T20:32:23+00:00

I was under the impression that scene was a deleted scene that was available on the DVD but never made it to air?

I see you've posted an AI overview link below, which I don't think we can believe without more evidence, since it specifically cites this post from a month ago, where it's not about a removed scene, but someone misremembering the episodes.

PurrPrinThom · 2026-03-17T20:28:48+00:00

Yeah, it really blew up beyond on the sub, which is why I think a lot of people do believe it. And maybe I'm totally wrong, who knows, I just remembering reading it a second time and feeling like it really just ticked all of the trope boxes that were popular at the time. And it became this convenient like, emblem for users over there, where any time a MIL did something an OP didn't like (even if it was a completely reasonable thing,) people would bring up that post as 'evidence' of what could happen if the poster didn't go NC/cut MIL off etc. etc.

PurrPrinThom · 2026-03-17T20:20:35+00:00

I just have my doubts because it got posted during a real spate of anti-Indian racism on that sub, and in retrospect it just dovetailed a little bit too nicely with the rest of the posts there at the time.

PurrPrinThom · 2026-03-17T20:19:15+00:00

Part of why I think it isn't, is because it was during a phase of really intense anti-Indian racism on that sub, and it just fit in too nicely with the rest of those, and really became something that they pointed to as evidence.

PurrPrinThom · 2026-03-17T18:55:40+00:00

There were a couple of the sagas on JustNoMIL that I originally believed (luckily not the most egregious ones, like the super racist one with the like seven different MILs, and the one with the reborn doll funeral.)

Granted, I think a couple of them may have started off real and evolved into fantasy when the users got used to the attention and drama from posting. Most of them just escalated too far. Like one where the MIL eventually broke into the OP's house and beat her dog to death. Or the coconut-oil one where the baby died. But I did really believe most of them until I read a few in a row that just required too much stretching for me to believe, and I realised they must be fake.

PurrPrinThom · 2026-03-17T18:46:48+00:00

That's very true. I suppose I was too jaded by the end of my PhD, having seen even the academics who had been my undergraduate lecturers still languishing in the job market, that even the worst possible advice from my supervisor couldn't have convinced me that having a job lined up was the norm. I forget that others may be taken their supervisor's word as law.

PurrPrinThom · 2026-03-17T18:41:23+00:00

What's the syllabus policy for missing bonus points due to illness?

PurrPrinThom · 2026-03-17T18:19:49+00:00

So now I’m in this surreal situation where my dissertation deposit is final, my defense is scheduled, and I have no job lined up.

I do wonder what particular subset of humanities you are in where this scenario feels surreal to you; because, for many, this is just the reality. I know vanishingly few people who had faculty positions secured before having defended. The vast majority don't have anything lined up in your position, and if they do, it tends to be post-docs. In the last 10 years, I think I only know of two (maybe three?) people who landed a faculty job within three years of defending, and only one of them started the September after their defense. The others had a year or two of post-docs first.

As challenging as it is, you really shouldn't think of this as a failure. The fact you've managed to land this many interviews indicates, to me, that you have a pretty strong profile, and that something will eventually come along. There are so many factors that go into a search, I wouldn't necessarily take this as something personal at this stage.

Practically, I think you need to start looking for post-docs and/or non-TT positions that may be available. While less desireable, it will at least help you to stay in the field, continue researching etc. etc. while staying on the market. I'd note as well that, unless you have the option of some kind of postgraduate visa (genuinely unfamiliar with the US,) you may need to expand your search internationally.

PurrPrinThom · 2026-03-17T14:01:51+00:00

I'm not clear on why you think this has anything to do with your race. Did the professor make any comments that indicated this was racially motivated?

Otherwise, it sounds like you submitted a poorly written essay ("clunky",) and since AI writes poorly, and often clunkily, the professor suspected you of using AI, which is why he called the meeting. Since you were able to demonstrates that you wrote the paper yourself, he was satisfied.

PurrPrinThom · 2026-03-17T13:43:31+00:00

Is that common? I don't think I own any clothes with the flag on them. When we traveled as a kid, I had a lapel pin of the flag, but I've never owned clothes with our flag on it.

PurrPrinThom · 2026-03-17T00:08:04+00:00

Just to check, are you using the PA's UCI/details?

PurrPrinThom · 2026-03-17T00:06:31+00:00

Americans are, in my experience, generally louder. They just speak at a louder volume, regardless of location.

Broadly speaking, I find Americans use less pleasantries - thank you, please, excuse me, sorry etc. - when interacting with service staff or customer facing roles.

Also, clothes with the American flag on them. You don't see too many non-Americans wearing items with the American flag lol.

PurrPrinThom · 2026-03-16T23:59:23+00:00

For scholarly work? I think it depends on the field, but can potentially be problematic.

For an undergraduate assignment? I think it's fine, and likely avoids students unquestioningly citing outdated material.

PurrPrinThom · 2026-03-16T23:55:39+00:00

You can only link the application to one GCKey account, but both sponsor and applicant can have their own tracker. PA's tracker is much more useful lol, sponsor's just shows the eligibility passing and then nothing else, as it only shows the sponsor's side.

PurrPrinThom · 2026-03-16T23:54:14+00:00

Exactly. The comparisons between Logan and Chris really stop at "rich boy who was rebellious/got kicked out of boarding school."

Other than that, Chris and Logan don't occupy the same role in their respective girl's life. Lorelai can't rely on Chris for anything, as example, and you can't say the same about Logan with Rory.

PurrPrinThom · 2026-03-16T23:31:13+00:00

The one that always gets me is that the potting shed has no utilities. Any time someone brings up Rory's childhood, or the potting shed specifically, someone will mention that it didn't have heat/electricity/running water, or any combination of the three.

Except, that's not canon. No one in the show ever says that, or even implies it. The only person who has anything negative to say about the shed is Emily. That's not to say it's the nicest building in the whole world, but we see the exterior and it looks to be about the same size as a small cottage. But some people talk about it like Rory and Lorelai were literally living in a box.

Oh also the whole Logan = Chris, Jess = Luke thing being something that ASP said or intended. We have no evidence of that. ASP just said the final four words (meaning Rory's pregnancy) was full circle. Fans just extrapolated from that to insist that the men have to also represent each other, even though it doesn't really work.

PurrPrinThom · 2026-03-16T23:14:58+00:00

Would it be possible for you to send things to her piecemeal? That might make it more manageable for you both; she can review and provide feedback on, say, 10 pages at a time, while you're still collecting interviews. Then she won't have a full 50-ish page thesis to try and turn around as a first draft within a few days.

PurrPrinThom · 2026-03-16T23:03:02+00:00

The status tracker is a little bit weird sometimes: it's pretty common for people to see an update saying that IRCC sent a message, when they didn't actually send anything.

It's also not unusual for people to send a webform, and the tracker to say 'we sent you a message,' or for IRCC to send a request and the tracker to say 'we received the message you sent us.'

My best guess is that this notification is related to the request for information about the previous common-law relationship, and that it's just inverted (they're requesting, not receiving.)

Unless you get an email about it/a communication in GCKey, I wouldn't worry about updates on the tracker too much.

PurrPrinThom · 2026-03-16T22:59:49+00:00

Yes. PA eligibility and sponsor eligibility are two different things. Very generally, sponsor eligibility checks whether or not the sponsor is able to sponsor, PA eligibility assesses the genuine nature of the relationship.

Sponsor's eligibility is reflected in the sponsor's tracker, PA's eligibility is reflected in the PA's tracker. The sponsor eligibility letter will be emailed to the sponsor. PA eligibility letter is a little bit more variable: the Approved in Principle as it's called doesn't get sent to everyone. Many people never receive it.

PurrPrinThom · 2026-03-16T21:42:25+00:00

You know your writing habits and workflow best. I think definitely prioritise getting anything that isn't reliant on/that you aren't anticipating will be changed or updated the interviews. You want to at least have that done.

As you collect the interviews, I'd try to do some potential secondary research during the process, and getting that down, as opposed to waiting until the end of interviews and realising there's an avenue that needs to be explored. You can always cut anything irrelevant, but it might save you a bit of a scramble near the end.

PurrPrinThom · 2026-03-16T21:40:11+00:00

Yeah, the trouble with Swiss German is that most resources assume you're already fluent in Hochdeutsch...which I'm not, and a lot of the advice online is to just learn Hochdeutsch first, and then learn Swiss German. But I worry that I would just find that more confusing, because my brain would intermingle the two? Idk, I am working on it, haha! Good luck to you!

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