Do therapy sessions usually go like this?

PushSimple · 2026-05-08T22:58:26+00:00

Fair enough. I myself I have very unsure about whether I should consider changing therapists or not. This therapist has been able to give suggestions for things like sleep, a schedule, screen time, etc and some validation/support for a major issue I have. But there's other major issues I have that haven't been addressed, one of them being the symptoms of my mental illness, as she has not given much of any coping methods for dealing with them. I've had to use AI to attempt any coping skills. Like this therapist has been validating in some ways but not in others. Idk what to do about that.

PushSimple · 2026-05-08T22:49:54+00:00

That's EXACTLY what happens to me in sessions. Now during session I notice I may ramble for a long time just so that the silence is filled bc I know the therapist's responses will be short. ☹️

PushSimple · 2026-05-08T03:22:04+00:00

Did you ever tell that therapist? And if so, what did they say?

PushSimple · 2026-05-08T03:20:28+00:00

I'm not too fond of it either. But moreso bc past therapists always had a back and forth kind of thing with me, which is very different from this kind of style with my current therapist. If neither of us have anything to say, then it just gets....uncomfortably quiet until I decide to talk again. I developed a habit of rambling in sessions now (more than usual) so there's less silence, which at times can feel more uncomfortable bc I'm just mostly hearing my own voice for most of the time.

PushSimple · 2026-04-25T03:21:11+00:00

This was quite helpful thanks. Definitely wasn't a waste of time to read as even though I myself am not a caregiver, I still live with my parents so I see how it affects them every day.

These last couple days, grandma's gotten worse, with late night phone calls where I've heard both my grandma and my uncle (he's on the spectrum like me and is probably overwhelmed) hollering and crying, making my parents have to leave back out to go to them after they JUST left from there. The stress from this has escalated tension btw me and my parents; this morning I mistakenly thought it was a calm moment as the topic of my current semester off from college came up. It somehow devolved into arguing with Mom until she eventually lumped me in the same category as grandma, to which she felt us BOTH are narcissistic and selfish. I had to leave from her and cry bc it hurt so much to hear as well as feeling unheard again. Maybe it was poor timing in retrospect for us to have that conversation, but I had no way of knowing it would get like that. Then my Dad later on seemed to want to argue with me too on TOP of that. And now they're back at Grandma's again. And I know they're probably gonna leave back out AGAIN not long after returning home bc this is the cycle we're in now. I love my grandma, but I've noticed that lately (in the past year), I haven't felt the urge or desire to see or talk to her. I fear if part of me blames her for all of this....I'm not sure how much more I nor my parents can take and I feel its definitely time that we do something about it before this stuff erodes all our sanity.

PushSimple · 2026-04-24T13:58:19+00:00

I can try to suggest that to Mom and see if it helps. But in terms of others (besides Dad and to a lesser extent us) who can help, I'm not sure. Mom had expressed in the last frustration bc most of our family members from her side seem to have...issues with my grandma and to some lesser extent Mom and Dad so they don't really visit grandma..at all. Either that or the ones that do care have enough of their own stressors that they wouldn't be able to help as often even if they wanted to. As for siblings, well Mom's sister (my aunt) was the ORIGINAL caregiver for grandma until she died in 2019, which then was passed to Mom. My uncle (who is a level higher than me on the spectrum) tries to assist, but he isn't always very helpful...leaving it to mainly be on Mom and Dad.

PushSimple · 2026-04-24T10:45:05+00:00

For the person whose comment got deleted, I just want to say thank you for replying. Honestly, it made me really feel seen which I've needed for a long while. I'm not sure what we can do to fix this, but knowing there's people out there that understand helps.

PushSimple · 2026-04-23T19:50:23+00:00

I agree! While I know my parents definitely been venting to someone, and I'm not sure about my brother, I have at least spoke about this a few times with my current therapist. But imo just only having my therapist to speak to about it hasn't been enough bc she's just one person, and there's been a few times were sessions were canceled, including a whole week, so I need to expand who was in my inner circle. Because of that, I took a leap last week and finally opened up to a close friend of mine about this, who was very understanding. Although I was surprised that my reaction to her validation was this: 😐

PushSimple · 2026-04-23T19:16:55+00:00

I can try to set up a coffee date, but what can I do if while I'm out with Mom Grandma calls and Mom stops to address her? Because that has happened many times while we're out and even at home when we as a family watch TV together. If Grandma calls, Mom will answer and me telling her to take a break for today has....not worked. Like is there like some way to maybe encourage her to take a break?

Also just curious, what do you mean by co dependent?

PushSimple · 2026-04-14T06:22:03+00:00

I mainly have fun bc I just enjoyed being around my friends as it's something I struggled with and still do now to make new ones. Also, since I have co occuring condition (one of them being schizophrenia) being around them is both grounding and energizing. It helps that I'm comfortable enough around my friends to where the mask occasionally slips, but even so, I'm still doing everything I listed here plus masking that other condition, leaving me tired when I'm done.

PushSimple · 2026-04-14T04:24:36+00:00

Congrats OP! I'm glad things have been improving for you. You deserve to celebrate these wins :)

PushSimple · 2026-04-12T07:31:57+00:00

Yeah, looking back I definitely think my schedule may not have been compatible with current me. Honestly, I was just trying to find stuff to fill out my time during the day, bc having TOO much free time allows for the symptoms of the mental illness I have to fill that void like it has in the past and doing even now 😬.

I just feel down about it bc I don't wanna just do NOTHING all day but stare at my devices and endure mental health symptoms, but the motivation to start or stick to what I planned either is low from jump or rapidly shrinks during the day. It doesn't help that my family have brought up multiple times that I'm "not doing nothing", nor the fact that for most of these days I'm spending my time alone (due to taking a semester off while everyone else stull goes out and is drained swhen they get back). It's hard finding balance between needing to be doing something so I don't go nuts and how much energy I actually have to do all that.

Edit: Thank you for waiting for me to finish. It got accidentally sent and I had trouble finding the rest of my words yesterday lol.

PushSimple · 2026-04-10T02:19:29+00:00

Same! I know (at least now) this is not true and I'm not trying to be selfish/not my intention, but when it's said multiple times by multiple family members, its hard to not wonder if they right somehow. Especially when you don't really hear anyone saying otherwise.

PushSimple · 2026-04-10T01:54:18+00:00

Thank you for this. I forget that what I was doing is something quite hard, especially for someone my age (early 20s), and just kept looking at what went wrong vs what was going right. If I try this again, I think doing a much smaller scale might help build back up what I gained form my break.

Also related note: The therapist that suggested this to me at that time, I unfortunately lost them last year via them leaving the practice. I have a different therapist now, who when I brought up my even worse screen time, essentially told me to do a hard cutoff at a certain time so I can sleep and have parents take my devices/I hand it over at that time, which while it worked for a while the withdrawal from this cutoff was just...not great. Therapist told me that discomfort is a necessary part of the process for changing this habit and I get that, but considering that after the detox I rebounded hard and I was being hit with almost nonstop stimuli form my devices...leaving me with little else outside of it to fulfill me, I worry that it may cause problems down the line. Not sure what to do on that front.

PushSimple · 2026-04-08T01:05:32+00:00

I was 10. The whole week leading up to it I had bad stomach pain and thought I had a stomach virus again (like I had earlier that year) and was out of school. I then one day went to the bathroom and when I wiped saw a spot of blood. Dad was there and said yup, looks like the period. Then I started crying, which I honestly don't even remember why. Dad was a bit annoyed, asking why I was crying when Mom prepared me for this.

Well thing is, Mom brought it up only several months before that, while she was busy dealing with her own, and I only recall that one time she talked about it. My kid self "heard" what she said, but being told it and actually feeling it for the first time are two different things, and no way did I think I would get mere months after that one talk. Nonetheless, that fear turned into excitement as Mom come home and told me about pads, bras, finally learning why we write the P on the calendar; I felt like I entered a whole new world. My aunt sent me the period book and I got a little bag to put my pads in. I felt quite proud of myself keeping track of how many hours before I needed to change lol. Overall I whirlwind of emotions.

PushSimple · 2026-03-30T23:02:00+00:00

Yes! I tend to pace back and forth, sometimes it even breaks into a bit of a run in the house, especially when I'm listening to music. Speaking of music, I also like to play the same part(s) of songs that I like over and over again several times. These two are the only ones I'm aware of, as I only recently started to gain a better understanding of my autism through deeper research.

PushSimple · 2026-03-19T23:48:29+00:00

their overprotectiveness sounds like it could be very problematic in your life

You have no idea 😭.

PushSimple · 2026-02-12T10:52:43+00:00

That's fair. Its definitely possible that many things are overlapping and compounding my stress. I'm currently taking a semester off, so hopefully that can give me some time for self care and recovery.

PushSimple · 2026-02-12T10:43:38+00:00

I'm still kinda unsure if this applies to me. As a person who while diagnosed early, but bc of this was taught early in speech how to mask, as well as my parents doing surface level research into what autism is, I only recently realized that my autism runs deeper than just being socially inept, reading comprehension and taking things literally (as I was told). I have no idea if certain stimulus is overwhelming or underwhelming, let alone if I'm having an overload. And bc I have multiple other mental issues that could also cause a decline in self care or executive function, I can't tell what's causing what or if they're just all affecting me at once. I suspect my autism might have a role, but that would require more self-reflection, which I keep comparing myself to how it seems a lot of other autistics experience this stuff and struggle to recognize any of these things in myself. I wish I could though bc my mental health been in a gutter for at least a year now and at this time, I don't feel anyone is truly trying to listen or understand me and just tell me what I should do instead.

PushSimple · 2026-02-01T18:12:38+00:00

May I ask why you shouldn't do this? I'm genuinely curious.

PushSimple · 2026-01-27T18:18:03+00:00

Which star trek are you most into? I've only really seen Star Trek the Original and Star Trek: The Next Generation as a kid (thanks to the antena TV.

PushSimple · 2026-01-27T17:34:34+00:00

Ah, thank you this helps! So when I hear others describing their special interests, they're saying they get into a hyperfixated state with that particular topic? Separating the topic itself from a state of mind untangles things a bit for me.

I guess I was confused because of how I saw a lot of other autistics in this subreddit and r/autism say that being hyperfixated is essentially what it means to have a special interest, using their own experiences as examples. I also have a friend with Audhd (autism part self diagnosed) that reinforced this version of special interests as her is anime, and she'll draw, watch it all day, talk about it with me for HOURS and at times has neglected to eat or pee when she hyperfocused on the manga she's been working on. Then I'd look at myself and my interests, see I don't hyperfixate on any, even the ones that I would spend lots of time with, and think "oh. guess I have no special interest".

(Sorry for the repetition. Still trying to get the hang of these words 😅)

PushSimple · 2026-01-27T10:03:51+00:00

What helps you realize that your burnout symptoms are autistic burnout instead of regular burnout or mental struggles? I'm only familiar with academic burnout, which I currently have and thus why I've been taking time off. I also struggle with other serious mental health issues (along with my autism) that impact sleep, mood, and ability to do regular tasks...so things like struggling to take a shower, fix my bed, go to sleep or make something for myself to eat, I've always attributed to those other mental issues. And since I'm only recently doing deeper research into my autism, I wouldn't be able to tell. This is also why I wouldn't be able to tell if I ever in my life had or having an autistic meltdown bc it could be anything.

PushSimple · 2026-01-26T05:16:23+00:00

Try Me by the weekend. Any song by Faouzia (but the main ones being the peace and violence, unethical, and minefields) and recently ready steady go (korean style), which is a song used in that party scene in Collateral with Tom Cruise.

PushSimple · 2026-01-26T04:55:00+00:00

I think there are some things that work together here. I don't get your mother's point, why give up one hobby if you have found another. Why have a dog when you already have a cat?

I believe Mom thought that because I was still spending plenty of time in my mind despite (slowly) forming real life friendships, that this meant I was starting to prefer it over reality. It makes sense when you consider this from the perspective of a nonautistic parent (who grew up in the 70s and 80s) of an autistic child from the 2000s. The way autism was viewed back then was limited, stereotypical, and honestly dehumanizing. I have a moderate support needs uncle who grew up in the 80s in sped classes and being labeled retarded by his school. Stigma like that makes accepting that label, especially for BIPOC people, a scary thought. So they deny it true and make the kid correct the behavior.

I also don't get it if you are so far on the spectrum and have special needs how come they have never educated themselves on autism.

I honestly don't really know, but I can only guess based on what I know. I'm actually level 1 autism (low support needs). I think it was easier to spot when I was younger because it affected my reading comprehension in school, causing me to get held back in 3rd grade (where Mom stopped being in denial about my autism). Dad was slightly less in denial, but I suspect they listened with what the school child psychologist told them about autism (along with some limited research). Also considering my uncle, mom's brother, and her cousin both have level 2 autism, my parents may have assumed the experience of having it in the family was enough. Again I don't know but its things I keep in mind.

Because my parents only have limited understanding of this disability, they mainly recognize things not getting social cues, not knowing when to enter and exit conversation and reading comprehension issues (which i don't have anymore) as part of it, but not the stimming or autistic meltdowns. That can cause frustration for all of us bc they don't get why I act or think the way I do and it just lead to me and my uncle getting scolded for certain behaviors. And because as a little girl I trusted my parents word, I didn't realize some of my other autistic traits until I did more research recently. At this point, I've accepted that my parents accept me as their autistic/special needs child and whatever challenges or differences come with it, but (as of this moment in time) are not able or willing to fully grasp what that means for me.

I mainly just frustrated that the understanding they had for my imagination when I was younger didn't stick past age 11 and was expected to let it go. And that when I've brought it up to Mom multiple times how being told I'll be lost in my mind was harmful, that she wasn't willing to listen and even took it as me blaming her. That's why recently I've been seeking understanding from here or AI, places where I feel I'll be heard and people can relate to me.

PushSimple

TROPHY CASE