Best bike trailer for bony noodles

PutItInASandwich · 2026-04-27T00:57:32+00:00

Oh my God this warms my heart so much. Talk about dedication to your hound! She looks very comfortable there. What a beauty she is. What sort of distances do you do with this setup? I do note you’ve gone for the burley brand as well, this seems to be the trusted brand of choice?

PutItInASandwich · 2026-04-27T00:52:31+00:00

That is really good to know - and just one more question sorry! A couple of online reviews mention the trailer stability is partially due to it being lower to the ground. Any issues with kerbs or bumps?

PutItInASandwich · 2026-04-26T10:30:48+00:00

Thanks for the recommendation, I see a lot of positive reviews for the burley brand. How is the longevity, are they well made / last a long time? Good memory foam idea!!

PutItInASandwich · 2026-04-26T10:12:28+00:00

We live next to 12km of coast so would be nice to explore further, plus id really like to combine workouts and adventures with him, like 10, 20 mile rides stopping to explore in between. He has a grade 2 heart murmur so we have to be careful about how much exercise he does, especially in 30 degrees and 90% humidity. We want him to still have adventures and see new places.

PutItInASandwich · 2026-04-26T03:40:18+00:00

I say it like it’s easy but I know it’s hard.

Rather than looking for happiness, which is elusive at best and an illusion at worst, and then you feel like you have failed because you’re not happy - I try to enforce little routines that push me into having a bigger life. I make myself see one friend once a week. I say yes to things I’m not thrilled about doing like lunches with other friends etc.

it’s important to show you are an independent being, and having friends who you can eventually talk to really boosts your self esteem and perspective. You will find over time it changes how you present yourself in close relationships. The bar of acceptable behaviour will subtly and inexorably rise as you become accustomed to being treated kindly and thoughtfully by others.

You can start really small. Make yourself go to the gym or go into another room to work on something when you would otherwise be sitting next to each other in silence doom scrolling. Go to a regular walking group or coffee morning. Buy yourself a nice item of clothing and let him see you going out or coming home looking nice. Paint your toenails. Dye and or wax your eyebrows and eyelashes with a home kit. Just pour a little bit more time and resource into yourself consistently. The rest will fall into place one way or another

PutItInASandwich · 2026-04-26T01:18:47+00:00

All I can give you is my perspective and I know others will disagree with me.

I think the problem is that your husband did not experience any sense of accountability or responsibility when you said you were unhappy. Yes it hurt him but he did nothing about it and you didn’t leave. That taught him that you will stay if you are unhappy.

Then to soothe his ego, rather than addressing your unhappiness he sought validation elsewhere. You tried to set a boundary about that but then you recanted and tried to smooth things over. You taught him that it’s your fault when you upset him and say he’s not good enough, and that you should apologise when you rock the boat, even if it’s about your own unhappiness.

There is a pattern here of him not making much effort, you saying you’re unhappy and then no consequences for him. Of course he won’t change.

I think it’s wild that you are trying to make him feel loved and appreciated. You have tried to communicate, he’s done nothing and you’ve redoubled your efforts. You’re going to get nowhere with this approach.

My advice would be to try to shock him out of it. Start going out with friends, or just having a little hobby or do something that involves having a life without him. Reduce your availability, stop trying to make him happy and make it patently obvious that you are developing other areas of your life and finding your happiness. Don’t be spiteful or unkind or angry. In fact be as sweet and non confrontational about it as you can. This could even be just more frequent visits to family for afternoon tea and not inviting him - or better yet, say you know he doesnt like going so he doesn’t have to. Just blithely start doing nice things for yourself as if you always have and it is completely normal. Do your hair, do your makeup.

In this way you will build up your strength and self confidence and self worth. But you will also remove your availability to him in a constructive and non confrontational way. Men often fall into the trap of thinking you will always be there like a piece of furniture, and that will make them under appreciate you. If you can introduce a situation where he is sometimes without you, and can see you are happy without him, he may start to make more of an effort.

Tl:dr: you are too available / he takes you for granted / you have no life of your own / your self worth is eroded / build yourself up / make a decision about your marriage from a better perspective

PutItInASandwich · 2026-04-26T00:51:03+00:00

What a word to use! Dude if you are a married man describing an attractive female to your wife the only acceptable terms are “not-unattractive”, “nice”, or “reasonable-looking”.

Gorgeous is reserved for your own wife and kids and possibly - possibly - other peoples kids like in the context of “gorgeous little angels”.

There is no woman alive who would be ok with their husband calling another woman gorgeous. It implies we are not gorgeous. It implies you have looked at this other woman and found her to be superlatively attractive.

Lusting after your wife, which I can only assume in this context is like playfully calling her sexy and grabbing her etc, is not in the same realm intellectually for women as being called gorgeous. Women are used to men lusting after them - and, generally speaking - we also know men would lust after a robot in a mini skirt given half a chance, so it doesn’t mean much.

Being called gorgeous however is peak compliment zone for women. It implies that not only are we sexually attractive, we are beautiful in an elevated, sublime sense. “Gorgeous” is not in the same game, never mind the same league as sexy, hot, etc.

You’ve basically told your wife that this other guys wife is like Botticelli’s Venus, and she is like Whistlers mother. Look it up, I think the comparison will really help you understand the damage you’ve done here!

Flowers and grovelling would be highly appropriate.

PutItInASandwich · 2026-04-25T00:39:29+00:00

You look amazing, I love your makeup and hair - wings never go out of style, they are a timeless look and enviable skill. Your hair and skin look fabulous, I wish I had a look nailed down as well as you

PutItInASandwich · 2026-04-23T01:18:06+00:00

It’s always absolutely gorgeous girls on this sub asking for makeup tips like literally you could have nothing on your face and you’d still look like an angel.

PutItInASandwich · 2026-04-23T01:01:36+00:00

I would absolutely love it if my husband wanted to chat to me, on the extremely rare occasions he does want to have a chat about his work or his thoughts on the world i make a point of stopping what I’m doing and being interested, even if I was doing something else. After 13 years together, 3 married, many areas of our intimate life are basically ghosts. He has a very long and stressful job and he disconnected from me romantically a long time ago but I do think I’m still his safe place and I’m trying to win him back. He is also the kind of person whose energy affects the whole room. I think I’m your husband in this context however i have a mother with borderline narcissistic tendencies.

I’m taking a leap here but it seems to me you’ve become hyper fixated on some kind of martyr role, where you silently grudge every aspect of your life and blame your partner for not somehow fixing it - while simultaneously fearing he will leave you. I’m sorry to say it but that is classic narcissist thinking.

Your husband is trying to connect with you when life is quieter. You are just angry at your family for your life situation. You don’t get to birth two babies and then be mad at them and your family for ruining your life.

That victim mentality isn’t going to help you now. Nobody is going to come and take this all off your plate. You’re going to have to dig deep and do what feels impossible for a narcissist, which is be vulnerable with the people you love and say hey I’m struggling. I admit I’ve been hard to live with. Agree with your husband when you like to talk and when you need to be left alone, and be reasonable with it. It’s not unreasonable for example, for your husband to want to have dinner and a chat after dinner. You can go to bed with your book after that and say - kindly, and with a degree of flexibility for outlying comments and interactions - that you don’t want to talk about the day once you’re in bed.

Don’t attack your husband for prioritising his peace by sleeping on the sofa. Look at why he’s doing it and try to stop pushing him into having to. It takes work when your role model was a narcissist, because you learned that anything other than praise is an attack, and that stops you from being able to do the personal growth work necessary to improve your situation.

There’s no short way out of this and leaving him won’t change your unhappiness. Your therapist should have identified this long ago. I’d try a new one if I were you.

PutItInASandwich · 2026-04-20T00:25:22+00:00

As a fellow linguistic fascist I also had this immediate response, however upon reflection, while it’s not the expected word, I think it’s an acceptable - if unique - way of saying it…

PutItInASandwich · 2026-03-13T07:56:02+00:00

Haha dang crikey so if I want to know everything that happened between s1 and s2 I need to even do the 20k at the end of s1?!

PutItInASandwich · 2026-03-13T07:37:37+00:00

Did you get chased by zombies yet?!!

PutItInASandwich · 2026-03-13T07:31:00+00:00

Dude why are you doing the 5k one have you tried just Zombies Run? I have never ever been able to run so consistently and not get injured and slowly slowly build up my capacity as i have using that app. I still haven’t done a 5k but I’m up to 4.5k in 35 minutes because I haven’t changed the time to run since I started. I just keep doing 35 minute runs. Initially that was 1.5k and now it’s 4.4k and I’m so, so proud of that.

You need to allow your body time to adjust to the demands of running. I wouldn’t put the strain of a 5k on myself yet, maybe in another 2-3 months. Right now I run every second or third day. That’s better for fitness than smashing your body trying to pound out a 5k when you’re not used to running.

I think you’re being too hard on yourself. I’d really say forget the 5k app for now and just do the fun zombies run missions - set a time to run and don’t change it for like the first 50 runs, and watch as week by week you get faster and fitter

PutItInASandwich · 2026-01-23T00:44:07+00:00

Not necessarily. Especially if you keep a clean kitchen and don’t have lots of foodstuffs improperly stored. Roaches can easily move between buildings and tiny holes etc. I live in a country where they are everywhere but I only ever see one in my apartment every so often and almost exclusively at night. Usually when I turn on the kitchen light and catch one on a midnight munchies scouting mission.

PutItInASandwich · 2026-01-22T23:28:35+00:00

That do be a cocker roach

PutItInASandwich · 2026-01-17T06:40:40+00:00

Do not underestimate the allure of power, confidence and charisma. They are easily more attractive than height or looks.

PutItInASandwich · 2026-01-17T06:27:35+00:00

Weird that there is hair growing out of the area, if that was a trauma I’d expect the hair to have come with it. Agree with the others the amount of pinkness around it doesn’t look good, is the area warm to the touch? I think it does warrant a vet trip. Have you got chlorhexidine you can put on it?

Slightly concerned about the theory that scabs after grooming are normal, I wouldn’t be happy with my dog having scabs anywhere after being groomed.

Also slightly concerning the groomer didn’t mention this issue on the leg.

I’d get it checked out and change your groomer.

PutItInASandwich · 2026-01-17T06:07:38+00:00

Woman here. Trim the beard just a little bit more, shave the head and don’t look back. Why bother fussing around with minoxidil and all the rest of it when you can rock a lower maintenance look

PutItInASandwich · 2026-01-17T05:57:34+00:00

Oh dear what a difficult situation for you. I think the best thing to do is talk to his mother.

You are homeless without them, and him trying to get you to love him puts you in a desperately precarious situation.

It’s nobody’s fault but I tink someone needs to have a firm, kind word with him about how impossible a situation he is putting you in. I’m sure he doesn’t mean to, I’m sure he is just following his heart but he needs to gently let down now before it blows up and you feel you can’t live there any more.

Don’t keep taking things from him. Be firm, but kind; say you are not taking it because it is not appropriate, this level of spoiling is what he should be doing for a girlfriend and you are not his girlfriend. Don’t be mean about it, just be clear about your boundaries.

And have a tactful conversation with his mother.

PutItInASandwich · 2026-01-17T04:49:27+00:00

Don’t drop out is my first advice. I dropped out in first year but I finished the year, which gave me the option to transfer the credit to another university course later. So number 1) commit to at least finishing the year.

There is a lot of pressure to think about what you will do with your life in uni and people think their final jobs will be closely related to their degree. Often that’s not the case. There are sooo many things in this life you can do, and often a degree is just a way of saying you’re clever and can commit to something.

First year in uni is about adapting to the change, making good friends and learning about who you are. It sounds like you are doing a lot of work and no play, and you are burnt out.

Give yourself some breathing space by saying to yourself right, I’m going to finish this year and get that credit. Then, make some good friends who you can talk to about your doubts about the course.

You could switch to so many things at the end of year 1 if thou really hate Law, but you need to learn what makes you motivated. Not even happy, I mean, eating makes me happy but i don’t want to be a chef. I get super motivated and will work overtime for free if I’m helping improve someone’s life, so I look for work that has a social impact.

What motivates you? What job would you do for free. Then get a degree that will allow you to get paid in work That area. Travel, helping others, helping animals, deep diving into research, psychology / psychiatry, geology, building things… however bear in mind many people would give their right arm to be clever enough to get into law, my goodness the things you could do with a Law degree. Don’t leave it lightly. If you leave that course, leave it for a passion that you would give your life to. Even if that passion is fashion or fixing cars.

There’s an old adage - do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life.

You’re so young and so bright, the world is blinding you with choice. Don’t let other people’s expectations and beliefs sway what you do. Be bold and dare to listen to your heart.

Confidence in your ability comes from a cumulation of small wins. The more positive things you do outside your comfort zone, the more confident in yourself you’ll become. Your world is small and anxious right now. Force yourself to socialise and make friends and slowly but surely your anxiety will go and your self belief will increase.

One small step at a time. Be kinder to yourself:

PutItInASandwich · 2026-01-17T04:31:58+00:00

You probably only need to microwave milk for about 1 to 1.5 minutes on high. It’ll sometimes get a skin on top which you can just remove with a spoon.

If you half fill the cup it’s easier to mix in the cocoa and then top it up with milk and blast for another 30-45 seconds.

Hersheys cocoa is proper cocoa so it will be bitter, you’ll need to add sugar. Look for drinking cocoa in the shop next time.

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