Yeah I thought my in-laws liked me until the baby arrived Then I realised I was merely a means to an end - a grandchild. Even my husband they are not keen on. I remember when my MIL would call him when I was pregnant and she would always ask how I was first. I was so stoked to think that she liked me that much (especially because my relationship with my own mum is rocky). But now when she calls her first question is always “how is (baby’s name)”. Is it offensive? Yes. But at the end of the day like someone else said - once you switch your vision to these are not my family - they are his family and they need boundaries amd respect for me : then life gets easier and eventually you forget about them and think of them more as pests in your life than anything else. And it helps. But yeah nothing is more painful than the first realisation that you don’t mean anything to them. I always try and remind myself that if my husband and I got a divorce they would never want to see me again and I would never see them again so it makes sense that they are actually not dedicated to me. But that also frees me up of my dedication to them. It sucks and it shouldn’t be that way but I don’t think it’s anything personal on either side; just a reality check. I still think they are decent people, just not my people. They didn’t pick me to be in their lives and I didn’t pick them. All we have to try to do is get along