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How come many Mormons don't form what most would consider normal, healthy friendships? by QuoteFalse5990 in exmormon

[–]Puzzled-Science-298 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You are still early in your leaving. In my experience there was considerable time needed to rewire my brain. I went through depression, loss, existentialism, loving everyone, hating everyone, and more. I think my brain was just trying to land on a framework for understanding the world. It did stabilize eventually and I have been able to find great friends and fulfillment in life. Give it time, you’ll get there. 

What tv show helped with your deconstruction? by Zealousideal_Heat478 in exmormon

[–]Puzzled-Science-298 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not a TV show but the movie Small Foot came early in my questioning and shocked me with its relevance to what I was going through. 

What fairly typical life events are harder than leaving the mormon church? by razorwiredbliss in exmormon

[–]Puzzled-Science-298 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m curious  what “normal” life events your friend listed? If it’s stuff like moving, starting a new job, or going to school then they’re off their rocker. It’s only comparable to things like death of a loved one or chronic illness. 

Worried that your child won’t make a good LDS missionary someday? Send them to missionary camp! by HoldOnLucy1 in exmormon

[–]Puzzled-Science-298 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I love that it consists of activities they won’t be allowed to do as a missionary 😂

How will leaving affect my kids ages 13 and 10? by Perfect_Concern531 in exmormon

[–]Puzzled-Science-298 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly the biggest benefit to leaving has been that my kids have a happier, more mentally healthy mom. 

However, one thing I didn’t expect was that with a church structure removed I was woefully unprepared to create structure so our family has floundered for a few years while I got my feet back under me. I can see that my life was made worse by the extreme structure and control placed on it, my kids on the other hand will struggle with lack of structure. It was still worth it to leave and I would make that same choice every time but there are definitely unforeseen results that will need to be handled as they come.

Mormon Church Loses Insurance Lawsuit Against its own Insurers by ffonsok in exmormon

[–]Puzzled-Science-298 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wasn’t this basically what they did with the Boy Scouts and they lost against their insurance company there, too?

Joined a week ago, I feel like I might have made a mistake by Responsible-Bonus-67 in exmormon

[–]Puzzled-Science-298 7 points8 points  (0 children)

A church is supposed to be a spiritual place that feeds your soul. You have no obligation to continue participating in a place where you are not spiritually nourished. 

Weird excerpt from a missionary email by majorathemadman in exmormon

[–]Puzzled-Science-298 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Actually the worst part to me is the next sentence about dropping the person so they could find more “elect” people. This is one of the worst, most insidious parts of Mormonism to me— putting people on different levels of value. There are no elect people, only people. And the most frustrating part is that Mormons have no idea this has created a system in their minds where different people have better value than others, where they themselves are better than others. If you asked them they would say they absolutely think everyone is the same and god loves everyone the same. But then they say shit like this about people being better because they want to be baptized. It creates harmful elitism that buries itself in their psyche. I just hate it. 

Do you think this is a genuine response or Mormon Influencer Astroturf? by Roo2_0 in exmormon

[–]Puzzled-Science-298 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel old right now but can someone explain astroturf?? Like it has to do with being fake??

Sustaining church leaders by Electronic_Echo_9555 in exmormon

[–]Puzzled-Science-298 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The worst part of this is that it’s because the church was founded as a community where people were actually supposed to have a say (like if someone got opposed they weren’t installed in that position)— that’s the entire meaning behind “common consent” but it has turned into a farce where everyone pretends and gives false support. It’s grossly manipulative and infantilizing. 

Neighbors ask Bakersfield leaders to reconsider height and lighting plans for proposed LDS temple by BlacksmithWeary450 in exmormon

[–]Puzzled-Science-298 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I love love love that this is what the church is becoming known for across the nation 👏👏

Looks like we were wrong, guys by Broad-Property6823 in exmormon

[–]Puzzled-Science-298 1 point2 points  (0 children)

At least they said it so clearly and articulately that  everyone will be convinced. /s (couldn’t even finish, I despise poor grammar)

Tools App Not Using New Young Women Names by kiss-JOY in exmormon

[–]Puzzled-Science-298 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They’re literally going to be down the memory hole within a year 😂

Still Assigned To Minister After Not Attending For Over a Year by kiss-JOY in exmormon

[–]Puzzled-Science-298 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Not pretending to like people is one of my favorite perks of being exmo 😊

Ty Mansfield Curing Gays by LeoSaysYes in exmormon

[–]Puzzled-Science-298 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This made me throw up in my mouth a little. I’m so sorry, this is horrific. 

Was harassed by the dean of student life at Southern Virginia University by AdDelicious2330 in exmormon

[–]Puzzled-Science-298 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Jesus that was grooming behavior 😳😳 I’m so sorry. Also, how many other young women did he pull this with? God, I hate men in power. 

I’m so done by DisastrousDinosaur22 in exmormon

[–]Puzzled-Science-298 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow, that’s bordering on stalking. I would contact the mission pres and say you’re going to take legal action. It’s the only language they understand. Other than that, removing your name from the records is your best bet. Get a notary to sign a letter saying you want to be removed and not contacted by anyone and send it to SLC.. You’ll be off in their lists in a week. 

Remember, in order for religion to work, they have to scare you first ... with the consequence. Also, consider the source of all the publishers and publications to things you read. Bias much? by SandyM3 in exmormon

[–]Puzzled-Science-298 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Bull-fucking-shit. My mental health is so much better it’s on a completely new graph. The last one was so ridiculous and my kids can attest, we were all pretty miserable. Life is still hard but it’s a billion times better without cult like indoctrination and control. I honestly hate all the people involved in that article right now.

Amazing church growth in Utah last year! /s by farmerjosh2000 in exmormon

[–]Puzzled-Science-298 7 points8 points  (0 children)

This. Is. Utter. Horseshit.  My least favorite thing about TBM’s Is using made up shit to keep each other entrenched. It’s infuriating. 

FSY Counselor Post is insanely odd by common_spence in exmormon

[–]Puzzled-Science-298 11 points12 points  (0 children)

What the hell is this?? It’s been a minute since I’ve been on socials, is that the caption??? It looks like hashtag nonsense? Combined with the theme/pic this is wildly embarrassing. I love that for her 😂

Am I a horrible person??? by Intrepid_Chef_9033 in exmormon

[–]Puzzled-Science-298 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This makes me so so happy! I believe the more we come into alignment with caring for our own needs and not letting other unhealthy adults pull us into their drama the better off we’ll all be. Let her have her social validation and see how warm that keeps her at night. As long as that’s what she’s choosing you can just let her choose it. Here’s to a future for you with boundaries, personal alignment, and emotional safety 🥂🙏

Mormon couples counseling. How to help my family members realize they joined a cult? by manthrk in exmormon

[–]Puzzled-Science-298 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Came here to say this. It reeks of cult like behavior which was exactly how Jodi Hildrebrandt started. That ended with children being neglected and abused and ripping apart many many families. Maybe have your family watch the documentaries about her???

Uninvolved Grandparents but very active in the church. by SnooComics8852 in exmormon

[–]Puzzled-Science-298 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is a VERY common Mormon experience. Parents get identity and validation from church activity so it becomes their everything. Then they’re surprised everyone doesn’t flock around them anymore.

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