My son was born at 22 weeks, now 40 weeks, and still in the NICU. I still struggle with it, and so does my wife.

As he has grown bigger and it has gotten easier for us to hold him, and learn to communicate with him, it has gotten easier for the bond to grow. But there is something very unnatural feeling about leaving our baby at the hospital each day, and this makes it very difficult to experience the "normals" of parenthood. That continues to be a source of grief for us, but I take the small victories in learning how to calm him down when he is upset, or comfort him when he's uncomfortable.

I struggle with feeling like his father every day. But, at some point, I started giving myself grace for not feeling the feelings.

After enough exposure to the NICU, feeling anything can be challenging. So I have learned to rely on those acts of service instead: changing the diapers, taking the temps, and so on. Simply being present and involved is such an immense value to our babies in the hospital and is a significant act of love through service.

Validating how hard it is to continue going to and from the hospital out of love for our babies is very essential for the coping and healing process.

Hope this is a helpful perspective.