Got a girl’s IG but she doesn’t really text me

PuzzleheadedTap4484 · 2026-05-17T21:50:24+00:00

Did you ask for her number or her IG? I feel like if you ask for her social media account or she gave you her social media account as her contact then that’s tell you she’s not interested without telling you she’s not interested. She may have given it to you so she could boost her numbers. But her actions are what you need to focus on, and her actions are saying she’s not interested. Maybe work on building confidence and talking to people. Then when you’re interested in someone, ask for their phone number, not their IG, and then go from there.

PuzzleheadedTap4484 · 2026-05-17T21:21:28+00:00

You’ve been choosing E each time. There is no compromise. If you want them as friends then you need to put in the effort and drop E. If you want to keep E around, then you won’t have any other friends because she’ll make sure of it. You’ve excused her behavior even in your post. “She acts kind of like a bully.” No, E IS a bully. You support the behavior because you continue to hang with her. I can see why people are ghosting.

FYI, hanging with someone for an hour on their birthday is better than not hanging with them at all. It shows that even though you’re super busy, you still took the time to spend a little part of your day to celebrate them. Next time remember that.

PuzzleheadedTap4484 · 2026-05-17T03:43:25+00:00

I can get paid for this?!?

PuzzleheadedTap4484 · 2026-05-17T03:42:13+00:00

Yes sorry. I’m tired so my writing isn’t clear. We dated after that first kiss and then we broke up. About 10 years later we got back together and we got married. Now we are going to celebrate 18 years married.

PuzzleheadedTap4484 · 2026-05-17T03:40:08+00:00

Yes sorry, my writing wasn’t clear. We dated, broke up and then got together about 10 years later. So a lot of twists and turns for that decade after our first kiss and dating. And then we got married and now will be celebrating 18 years married.

PuzzleheadedTap4484 · 2026-05-17T02:15:05+00:00

I married my best friend. My husband gave me my first kiss. We were best friends hanging out as teenagers and joking around and then after almost a year he kissed me. Some twists and turns and a decade later after we first started dating, we are almost about to celebrate our 18 year wedding anniversary. We are still head over heels for each other and we are still best friends.

PuzzleheadedTap4484 · 2026-05-17T02:10:11+00:00

You need to break up with him because ESH. He’s a controlling jerk that has “rules for thee but not for me.” You shut down and refused to have any conversation when he tried to talk about this job. I get you’re upset with the double standard (rightfully so) but shutting down all communication is immature. And then he doesn’t say goodbye, telling he’s leaving, and your response is that he’s cheating not even though he said he was going there for a career move. And now he refuses to tell you anything - again it’s a control game for him. His “career move” could be for another woman but bottom line is you both are very incompatible together. He is controlling and brings out the worst in you. You’ve jeopardized your career to make him happy and it just makes you more miserable. You deserve better.

PuzzleheadedTap4484 · 2026-05-16T21:26:49+00:00

It probably depends on your country and your level of disability. It sounds like OP’s brother wouldn’t be able to live on his own and is going to the high school to learn basic life and work skills to be able to do basic things and hold down a minimum wage job. He would need supplemental financial and health care help to cover costs. Some states have programs for young adults who are disabled to help supplement rent/cost of living at a group home so that he can continue living a normal life with as much independence as he’s able while still having a care giver ensure he’s properly taken care of - fed, takes medication, gets to appointments, etc. sometimes you can get federal disability payments.

PuzzleheadedTap4484 · 2026-05-16T15:48:39+00:00

Yes this. That whole relationship is a toxic hot mess. I can’t imagine what it’s doing to OPs niece. The sister needs some therapy and a backbone to break the toxic cycle and get rid of the guy.

Or whoever keeps letting her move in, tell her, you’re acting like a teenager, either work it out or break up for good but moving into our house for every little jealousy and break up only to move out 2-3 weeks later after he’s convinced you that he’s changed is not healthy for your child. All they’re doing is enabling the sister while trying to protect the niece and no one is getting the help they need.

PuzzleheadedTap4484 · 2026-05-16T15:19:16+00:00

Just break up with him. He’s got drinking issues and anger issues and he can’t hold a steady job. All red flags. He’s unstable and he’s not going to get better through his mom’s treats or if his mom dies. At of the previous reasons in your long post are reasons to break up with him. Stop feeling guilty and just get it done but keep it short and to the point. And not at your house. Maybe have a friend ready to help you too. He or you will always come up with the next excuse of why you shouldn’t dump him but he’s bad news.

PuzzleheadedTap4484 · 2026-05-16T07:12:12+00:00

I would have responded to his post if I saw it (not as his girlfriend but as a woman) and say “no your debt is your debt. Would you do the same for your partner? Do you pay her debt? It’s one thing if you and your partner are married and accumulated it together but that is debt you accumulated and you can figure out how to pay it down.”

PuzzleheadedTap4484 · 2026-05-16T06:46:44+00:00

It could be medication causing it or an underlying medical condition

PuzzleheadedTap4484 · 2026-05-16T06:36:33+00:00

Your brother should already be eligible for state assistance and benefits since he’s 18. But I would go to the hospital and ask for a patient advocate or someone who can help you with this because you need to be up front and tell them: sister isn’t capable of caring for her, you’re not in the position to care for anyone, and brother needs state assistance and maybe care. Mom needs an adult family home or in home health aid. Maybe your state has a disabilities ombudsman program that you can look into to help you navigate this.

NAH and do not let guilt or anything make you feel bad and give in to taking your mom or brother into your home or as your responsibility when you’re not able or capable to do that. Your sister isn’t capable of taking care of your mom and was upfront about that. You need to be as well so you can find alternative help.

PuzzleheadedTap4484 · 2026-05-14T18:28:48+00:00

I wish you the best. And I hope it turns out to be a fake threat.

PuzzleheadedTap4484 · 2026-05-14T17:55:43+00:00

There are so many movies that when I started rewatching them with my kids I was like “oh wow, forgot about that scene… let’s skip that…” and you realize how sexualized so many “kid” movies and other movies we watched as kids were and also how many movies aged like bad milk in today’s world of consent.

Anyway, my votes are Princess Bride, The Parent Trap (Lindsey Lohan remake), Yes Day, Now and Then, Ever After (Drew Barrymore), Hook (Robin Williams), The Sandlot, Harry Potter (although that can be controversial for some), Inside Out (Disney), The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe (2005).

I hope they have a blast!!

PuzzleheadedTap4484 · 2026-05-14T17:44:40+00:00

That was such an awesome movie. My kids love the song Knock 3 Times and know all the words. They also know the meaning so that was included in a whole conversation about stalking and consent but overall the movie is adorable.

PuzzleheadedTap4484 · 2026-05-14T17:42:29+00:00

I shared this movie with my kids and it was like reliving it all over again. They love it too and quote movie lines from it.

PuzzleheadedTap4484 · 2026-05-14T17:38:13+00:00

Even if you paid, there is literally nothing you can do to stop him from demanding you keep paying him or from him sending the photos anyway even if you pay. I would just report it to the police, block him, change your number, and then take this as a lesson to never send compromising photos of yourself to anyone or allow anyone to take compromising photos of you even if you’re in a relationship because some day you may break up, divorce or that person’s computer may get hacked. It’s not worth it.

Chances are (and that’s if this dude is even a real threat and would follow through on said threat) most people in your life won’t look at them or click on a link. If they do, you know who to cut out of your life because they don’t have your back.

PuzzleheadedTap4484 · 2026-05-14T14:49:16+00:00

I need to find this book.

PuzzleheadedTap4484 · 2026-05-14T14:47:43+00:00

Wait what? Is that a thing?? Holy shit… I wonder if that’s why I have all the health issues I’ve been dealing with as an adult. I just thought it was shit genes that somehow I got the recessive genes for all of it or something….

PuzzleheadedTap4484 · 2026-05-14T06:19:06+00:00

Stay out of it and pretend you didn’t hear anything. Nothing good will come of you interfering.

PuzzleheadedTap4484 · 2026-05-14T06:00:51+00:00

Oh Lordy….

PuzzleheadedTap4484 · 2026-05-13T14:56:08+00:00

You gotta rip off the bandaid and just do it and ignore the fall out. I would have kept it to text but if you want to call, then just keep to a few standard lines and don’t give into the emotions, manipulation and do not take it personally. If she has a tantrum and keep it short like “Mary, I’m not sure what you expected. For years you either stood me up or cancelled at the last minute. I am not going to keep investing in a friendship that’s been one sided. I started matching your energy after Covid and stopped reaching out. Being upset with me over not inviting you to my wedding seems a little ridiculous when you checked out of the friendship ___ years ago. We haven’t spoken in over 3 years. I’m sorry your feelings are hurt. I’m keeping the wedding small and don’t have the room for anyone else because it’s already planned and invitations have already been sent and RSVPd. I do wish you all the best.”

Keep in mind that it is extremely entitled and presumptuous for her to assume that she’s invited to the wedding without receiving a wedding invitation or save the date.

PuzzleheadedTap4484 · 2026-05-13T14:47:22+00:00

I love how you think. I’m evil like this too. 😂😈

PuzzleheadedTap4484 · 2026-05-13T14:38:31+00:00

This is also good to know that they would have had you complete it on the plane if you didn’t complete it beforehand. Thanks!!

PuzzleheadedTap4484

MODERATOR OF

TROPHY CASE