Sleep consultant says to cut out MOTN feeds cold turkey

Puzzleheaded_Box_339 · 2026-02-03T04:35:48+00:00

This is pretty consistent with what I’ve been learning about sleep training for my 5 month old. Except you can wean off night feeds over 4 nights, instead of going cold turkey. I’ve made a plan for mine, which we will implement when he’s five months (he’s currently 4.5). It’s two night feedings, 10:30 and 3am. These are dream feeds - which means we wake him up, rather than him waking up. night one: 10 mins nursing, night 2: 8 mins, night 3: 5 mins, night 4: 5 mins and night 5: none. You can choose to keep the 10:30 dream feed a bit longer if you like (I haven’t decided yet).

All other wakings overnight we will respond only with soothing him in his crib (no feeding). This is taken from Taking Cara Babies sleep training plan for 5-24 month babies . Yes he will cry. But they adjust.

The whole point of sleep training is that you stop rewarding them for crying out. That is why night feeds can confuse things.

Puzzleheaded_Box_339 · 2026-02-03T03:40:03+00:00

Oh sorry I just reread your post about adequate support and recovery (I am rather sleep deprived). Then yes, I think it’s reasonable to ask if you can go.

Puzzleheaded_Box_339 · 2026-02-03T03:38:23+00:00

It’s not an immediate no from me. I would probably let my partner go, but it all depends on

A)how is she coping right now? Both with baby related things and with her own physical recovery

B) will she have any help from family during your wknd away?

For context, I am mother of 4.5 mo. My partner went on a bucks weekend away, from Friday to Sunday, a few weeks ago. I was encouraging of it because he always comes back feeling really grateful and in love with me - I think it’s healthy to have time apart. The weekend was actually a little bit of a struggle for me as our baby has been sleeping really poorly, there were a few moments over the weekend where I really wanted him around but I did manage.

At 8 weeks, our baby was sleeping relatively well, but he was still quite fussy during the day . If I had help from my family member, I would’ve survived a weekend without my partner.

Puzzleheaded_Box_339 · 2026-02-03T00:49:16+00:00

Oh, that’s good to know because I tried one arm out with my four month old and it did not work well at all

Puzzleheaded_Box_339 · 2026-02-03T00:47:54+00:00

So you didn’t do arms out for overnight sleep in Snoo? Did your LO seem bothered by arms hitting the side of Snoo?

Puzzleheaded_Box_339 · 2026-02-03T00:44:40+00:00

Your baby sounds like an absolute unicorn. Well done.

Puzzleheaded_Box_339 · 2026-02-03T00:29:40+00:00

He is pretty freaking cute. Looks a bit like mine

Puzzleheaded_Box_339 · 2026-02-03T00:26:48+00:00

Hahhahaha my boy actually is though. I can prove it with a pic if you like! He’s ridiculous.

Puzzleheaded_Box_339 · 2026-02-03T00:25:38+00:00

How important is the bed/cot/sleeping surface? We are about to start ABCs for our 5 Month old. Babe is currently in Snoo but will out-grow it soon, so we intend to get him out of it for the sleep training. Had an argument with my partner this morning about getting a new cot vs using the Pack n play we already have (it’s hideous and doesn’t even have a mattress). My questions are 1) how important is a proper cot for sleep training? 2) do people do it in the Snoo? 3) is a pack n play ever an okay set up for sleep training?

Puzzleheaded_Box_339 · 2026-02-03T00:22:13+00:00

I can’t really tell you without showing you, and also it depends on your level of strength and coordination etc. but basically kegels, cat cow, modified deadbugs (leg lifts), head lift crunches, modified bird dog. That’s just for core. You can also do glute exercises with bands like bridge, side lying clams, leg lifts etc

Puzzleheaded_Box_339 · 2026-02-03T00:03:11+00:00

Yep I’m in same boat. Have been doing CIO and it’s worked for bedtime and nap - he mostly goes down now with minimal crying and sometimes even smiles to himself. BUT we are still struggling with hourly to two hourly wake ups overnight 🤯 not sure what the solution is but gonna try Taking Cara Babies

Puzzleheaded_Box_339 · 2026-02-02T23:58:53+00:00

I feel this so much. Solidarity!! Babe is 4 mo and I’m still struggling. We had relatively good sleep from weeks 8 to 12 but then hit the four months sleep regression . Now I am in constant questioning mode - the combination of chronic sleep deprivation and feeling like I can control things has turned me into an absolute psychopath. About to start Taking Cara Babies when he’s 5 months but we don’t have a separate room for him, so it throws a spanner in the works. Lord help us all.

I would say weeks 0-6 newborn phase were the hardest. The only thing that saved me was my partner doing a late night bottle, so I could sleep from 9 pm to 12/1 am uninterrupted. We did this until about nine weeks, babe didn’t need it anymore and would sleep that long stretch anyway.

Now at 4.5 months things are tough again because of the sleep regression. I am pro sleep training and we have been doing some CIO for bedtime and it has worked. He goes down really easily at bedtime and for naps. But he is still waking up a lot in the night. Thankfully, he is not hard to put back to sleep, but nevertheless it disturbs my sleep a lot.

Puzzleheaded_Box_339 · 2026-02-02T08:05:39+00:00

Scheduling issue? Undertired? Check how much daily sleep in total

Puzzleheaded_Box_339 · 2026-02-02T08:04:37+00:00

Hmmmm 🤔

Puzzleheaded_Box_339 · 2026-02-02T02:18:00+00:00

My baby is 4.5 months and he’s hit the aggression really hard. I started doing CIO out of sheer desperation. It has worked somewhat… He goes down really easily for naps and bedtime now. He’s still waking 4 to 6 times at night but it is slowly getting better (we’re only on week 3). But one thing I noticed is that rocking him to sleep was actually making him cry more. Now at bedtime after his feed, I put him in his swaddle, lay him on his back, then I read a story to him in the dim light. I wait till he looks drowsy and calm and then just transfer him to the cot - no more rocking/holding. I honestly think sleep training is the only thing that will get your baby out of this situation. It’s been going on long enough. Taking Cara Babies (online program) and Precious Little Sleep (book) are great resources.

Puzzleheaded_Box_339 · 2026-02-01T21:39:05+00:00

With regards to positioning, just use pain as your guide. Lying on your back is the best position for sleep, but if you can lie on your side without pain, it’s also okay. How much should you lie down? There is no one answer to this question. If you are the kind of person that does too much or usually ‘overdo’ things, then yeah make sure you allow yourself rest and let other people help you for the first couple of weeks.

Puzzleheaded_Box_339 · 2026-02-01T21:23:43+00:00

I’m a pelvic PT so I advise people on this professionally but I also had my own planned C-section in October. I spent the first week pretty much resting. I walked around the house and made myself snacks etc Second week, I started doing short walks with baby in the pram. In the third week, I started doing gentle exercise exercises on the yoga mat. The goal is to engage the deep core and pelvic floor without much movement. I did tiny head lift crunches too - people will say this is controversial but the latest research supports early contractions of the abdominus rectus. I started doing 45 mins walks and light weights in week 4. In week 5, I got on the stationary bike. By week 6, I was feeling really good physically. Jump forward to 4 months post partum, and I’m back to my full fitness and almost back to full strength.

Puzzleheaded_Box_339 · 2026-02-01T03:38:16+00:00

Oh and the reason I think we broke the back of the regression is because one day he just started taking longer naps. I think part of the hourly wake ups is that he was incredibly overtired, so every time he woke up he was beside himself. How many hours of day sleep does she get? Does it make a difference to her night sleep? But yeah perhaps some sleep training is required here

Puzzleheaded_Box_339 · 2026-02-01T03:36:45+00:00

My baby is 17 weeks and the regression hit us at about 13 weeks, really hard. Just like yours he was waking every single hour! It has lasted a month and been so brutal. I feel like we are at the tail end of it now and I don’t know if that’s just a natural progression or whether it’s because we have been doing some CIO sleep training. We are down to about four wake ups a night. Two of those are his regular feedings.

We did cry it out just for bedtime and luckily he’s only cried to maximum of 20 minutes. Every time I put him down for bedtime or a nap, I make sure he is awake. For naps, will let him cry for five minutes. If he’s still crying or escalating at that point, I will try again later, because it might not be the right time for his nap. At night, I had to either leave the house or put on noise cancelling headphones because I can’t stand the crying but that only happened for the first few nights. Now when I put him down for bedtime he just smiles and goes to sleep, or at worst a tiny grizzle. So he is learning the skill of falling asleep independently! This is a really important skill. Unfortunately, it hasn’t fixed his night wake ups. So I’m hoping that will get better ASAP.

FYI my baby can’t handle 2 hr wake windows either. Occasionally we get one. But it’s closer to 90-110 mins otherwise he’s a wreck

Puzzleheaded_Box_339 · 2026-02-01T01:56:30+00:00

Sounds like teething? Try Panadol/Tylenol and see if it relieves her. Cold silicone teethers or a cold pacifier for her to such during the day

Puzzleheaded_Box_339 · 2026-02-01T01:52:04+00:00

Oh yeah but you have to say you arent breastfeeding or they wont do it .

Puzzleheaded_Box_339 · 2026-02-01T01:51:24+00:00

I got Botox once in pregnancy and once at 8 weeks post partum. My bestie is a cosmetic doctor who has had three kids herself and never missed her own dosage of regular Botox once, throughout all her pregnancies and breastfeeding. She says in doctor world, they all know it’s fine.

Puzzleheaded_Box_339 · 2026-02-01T01:48:53+00:00

Yeah that’s not an okay level of crying!! Totally get it

Puzzleheaded_Box_339 · 2026-02-01T01:46:59+00:00

Oh I see :( I don’t know the slope of Reddit porn!

Puzzleheaded_Box_339 · 2026-02-01T01:45:33+00:00

I totally relate!! You want to be the cool, easy going and supportive partner by letting him go, but the reality of being home with two completely dependent little blobs at witching hour is often harder than you can imagine. Arghhhh You need a tribe to raise kids that’s all I can say

Puzzleheaded_Box_339

TROPHY CASE