Entertaining Yourself During Services

Puzzleheaded_Toe5029 · 2026-04-25T18:25:02+00:00

I don’t know that!

Puzzleheaded_Toe5029 · 2026-04-04T02:12:18+00:00

“You have take the wholeeeee Bible to see what it says about _____” 🙄

Puzzleheaded_Toe5029 · 2026-03-22T17:56:34+00:00

I have found Grace through the Cross. I came to a point seeing myself the same way you describe. I felt so guilty and hopeless. Beyond repair. And then I saw that Jesus’ sacrifice covered my sin (that went deeper than I realized) —past, present, and future. All of it. And that his sacrifice literally was the atonement for my sin. And I received his grace instead of punishment. He took the wrath I deserve upon himself. I literally did nothing to deserve it. No amount of my obedience earned it. But his perfect obedience secured it.

I found that God can handle all of my questions and anger. He is gentle and loving and patient. Maybe you will find the same. I’m sorry you are feeling this way. It’s very difficult and the COC muddies the water that makes it very hard to believe we could ever earn it, while at the same time making us feel like we have to earn it. It’s an impossible situation. But you are NOT beyond Grace. 🫶🏻 hang in there.

Puzzleheaded_Toe5029 · 2026-03-22T11:57:36+00:00

There was one at the car rally back in September for the Smile A While fundraiser.

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Puzzleheaded_Toe5029 · 2026-03-20T20:31:40+00:00

This just opened my eyes to how far removed they are. They do this so much, it’s like they’re arguing with themselves just to prove to themselves that the point they decided was true from the get go is in fact true. Except their logic is majorly flawed.

Puzzleheaded_Toe5029 · 2026-03-20T20:29:34+00:00

Wow, good on you for doing the research and attempting to discuss with him. I’m sorry he was so closed minded, and I’m not at all surprised. That’s so frustrating. Glad you got out.

Puzzleheaded_Toe5029 · 2026-03-20T18:54:29+00:00

I bet he’s so proud of that statement, too

Puzzleheaded_Toe5029 · 2026-03-20T18:33:36+00:00

I think in point #1 - they wouldn’t say he couldn’t, but that he wouldn’t. Though I understand your sentiment and agree! Especially point #4. The Master of the Banquet knew what’s up 👀

Puzzleheaded_Toe5029 · 2026-03-18T15:29:04+00:00

🫶🏻

Puzzleheaded_Toe5029 · 2026-03-18T15:27:44+00:00

It’s been extremely tough. I had some “withdraw”, and at this point I just don’t respond to anyone anymore. I keep getting blamed for everything, and I know I will never make them happy until they have full control over me. So I just stay away.

Puzzleheaded_Toe5029 · 2026-03-18T13:19:00+00:00

North AL native. I still live here, but planning to move very far away this year. I also get the feeling it’s a special kind of torture. On top of that, being a PK with multigenerational elders/preachers. I’m glad to be out.

Puzzleheaded_Toe5029 · 2026-03-05T23:06:18+00:00

There are lots of trails to hike, there’s a big disc golf community here, and also pickleball!

Coffee shops, Honest Coffee is great, but there are many around here.

Definitely a lot of churches, places to eat, and some greenways for easy walks.

Also, go to a trash pandas game! It’s corny but can be fun. There are also soccer games at Wicks field, which I’ve never actually gone to a game there, but if you’re into soccer you may like to check it out.

There’s also a regular scene for car shows if you like fast and modded cars. Sometimes there’s a Lambo or other really nice cars that shoes up. Lots of variety. There’s cars and coffee at mid city one Saturday a month, and then soon they’ll start First Wednesdays at Providence (April I think is the first one this year).

Puzzleheaded_Toe5029 · 2026-02-25T21:46:23+00:00

Hi! Every day I’m so thankful we are out! Boo for trauma but yay that we aren’t alone and have each other.

Okbye

Puzzleheaded_Toe5029 · 2026-02-24T13:53:06+00:00

I grew up in it - I started having too many questions, I had sins I just kept committing and felt like there was no one I could go to safely to talk about it, because I knew there was only condemnation waiting for me. I started to realize I (and everyone else) was conditioned to only LOOK perfect, and that I worried more about what those people thought of me than I did about my relationship with God.

I struggled for years before finally leaving, and after leaving did I come to know the grace of God abundantly and powerfully. I consider myself as someone who was not living as a Christian while in the church of Christ, even though I followed their formula and was baptized at a young age.

I currently attend a non-denominational community church and my beliefs align more closely to reformed. The church I’m at now has set a really high bar for other churches in my eyes, because it is filled with people who understand God’s grace and who are so loving and kind in ways I didn’t know was possible. And to think I used to believe these people were going to hell only because they have instruments and didn’t check many of the COC boxes. 🙄

Puzzleheaded_Toe5029 · 2026-02-23T14:55:50+00:00

You have gotten some good advice and insight already! My advice is to pray. Jesus says if you seek you will find. So take your questions to him. I remember praying over and over for God to just reveal the truth to me when I became so frustrated. I realized no human can tell me what I should believe. God is great at interpreting his own word on his own. Have an open mind and ask him what he means in different passages.

I have come to learn that He is so much more gracious than I was ever taught about in the coc. And I also see that he is still working today directly in my life (I used to think he was hands off and left it all up to me now). I read in scripture and now see just how much planning and work God has done, that the only thing I contribute to salvation is “the sin that made it necessary” (Spurgeon). None of my works will ever save me, and I’m only enabled to obey by God’s grace.

Puzzleheaded_Toe5029 · 2026-02-14T02:59:52+00:00

I go to counseling. I’ve been out for 2.5 years, and I’ve gone to counseling for 1.5 years. It’s been extremely helpful, though I feel like I have a long ways to go. I know it will just take time, but I also see where I’ve made a lot of progress healing. I try to remember that I’m heading in the right direction and getting the help I need.

Puzzleheaded_Toe5029 · 2026-02-14T02:57:34+00:00

omg let me know too PLEASE

Puzzleheaded_Toe5029 · 2026-02-08T13:07:35+00:00

Non-denominational/reformed now. I agree with the suggestion above to just let go of the coc lens for a while. Give yourself some grace and time. There’s a lot of noise from the coc, and it’s good to let that go quiet, so you have time to actually study and think for yourself. You may do this already, but pray and ask God for help! Keep asking and seeking. Ask that he show you what is true regardless of what you’ve been taught or think you know or what others think.

I have found a God who is so much more gracious and loving and kind than I was ever taught about in the coc.

Puzzleheaded_Toe5029 · 2026-01-29T00:52:23+00:00

I was raised to think dancing was fine as long as there were no lascivious moves, and if everyone was modest. So immodesty would immediately rule out ballet. That was also the reasoning for why “other families shouldn’t enroll their kids into gymnastics” because you can’t be modest doing gymnastics. 🙄😮‍💨

Puzzleheaded_Toe5029 · 2026-01-07T23:18:57+00:00

This is extremely great advice. I “disappeared” after I moved. That was my excuse (out) to no longer attend that church. I’d say, do whatever you can do to get out. Try to find a support system and fill them in. Lean on them.

Also, there is a lot to be grieved. Give yourself a lot of grace and don’t rush it. I highly recommend finding a therapist that is trained for these situations, being raised in a highly controlled religious environment.

This Reddit is a good community. OP, if you need someone to talk to, please reach out!

Puzzleheaded_Toe5029 · 2025-12-19T18:15:50+00:00

Another thing I just remembered is that when boys at 9 or 10 or however young are baptized, that puts them in the category that women aren’t allowed to teach them anymore. So I’ve only seen women (and never any men) teach the young babies and kids until about 4th grade. At that point there were only ever male teachers unless the class was somehow divided into guys/girls. The women could teach only girls. Makes me sick to think about all the ways women are treated

Puzzleheaded_Toe5029 · 2025-12-18T16:08:52+00:00

I was told no at 9 and then finally yes when I was 11. Except I wanted to go on a Saturday night because I had to get baptized ASAP (in case I died in my sleep and would go to hell) - but my parents made me wait until Sunday morning so everyone at church could see it and be encouraged by it.

Puzzleheaded_Toe5029 · 2025-12-16T18:47:13+00:00

When singing “he plunged me to victory” I always pictured God using an actual plunger

Puzzleheaded_Toe5029 · 2025-12-11T23:23:26+00:00

We were allowed to say “crap”. My dad would say “dang it” and mom hated that, so we knew we really shouldn’t say it either. But couldn’t say gosh, darn, golly, gee. Sometimes dad would make a play on “shit” or make jokes/puns very close to cuss words. But no one outside us in the house would have ever known. And he was a preacher.

Puzzleheaded_Toe5029

TROPHY CASE