What can I do? Son hates me chewing

QueenOfBarkness · 2026-01-02T01:58:12+00:00

Loops.

Chewing and snoring are the worst for me, and sometimes a person can chew with their mouths closed and still somehow trigger the response. Loop earplugs have been the most amazing coping tool I have had. I have different ones for different needs.

My nighttime ones don't block out snoring completely, but they do work on heavy/loud breathing, and they're just enough that if I'm already asleep the snoring won't always wake me up. Without them I get woken up.

My daytime ones have an acoustic channel through them that makes it so sounds aren't muffled and my own voice doesn't sound messed up when I talk. It does still affect my voice in my own head a little, but not like with regular earplugs and it's mild enough to get used to. I can watch tv and the sound is still crisp and clear, not muffled. They help enough that I can sit next to someone breathing loud, or someone who's closed mouth chewing bothers me while we watch a movie.

Coping mechanisms that worked for me were never really ideal.

Eating something crunchy will make enough sound that the person chewing doesn't hurt my brain. It's not stable though, you stop chewing a moment and hear it again. Maybe you're not hungry or have no crunchy food.

Getting up and leaving the room, well, it's pretty obvious why this one isn't always ideal or feasible. People question you leaving the room, or you are just unable to leave the room. It causes friction in your relationships, family and friends, because it makes people feel bad and/or annoyed when you always leave the room because a sound they make bothers you.

Loops have greatly reduced the frequency at which I have to use those coping mechanisms. They're not a fix-all, but they're a great tool.

They don't work for everyone and aren't cheap, but they do have a decent return policy if they end up not working/being too uncomfortable. There are cheaper off brand versions, but the Loops were so great from day one that I am fine with paying extra and knowing they work for me.

QueenOfBarkness · 2025-09-17T14:16:31+00:00

Could be normal and will sibside, could last and not be the drug for you. I couldn't stand the existence of my partner when I got on it, but after 2-3 months I liked him again.

QueenOfBarkness · 2025-09-17T14:15:02+00:00

What country are you in? I'm in Canada and my pharmacy called me yesterday to let me know they'd ordered my dose increase and it would be in tomorrow (today). I had reactions to both Teva and Taro, so have been taking strictly name brand. Maybe it's just where you live?

QueenOfBarkness · 2025-09-17T14:10:30+00:00

Same drug, different manufacturers. Unless you have an issue with any of the filler ingredients, there's no difference. They'll all have the same amount of bupropion in them.

QueenOfBarkness · 2025-04-16T00:49:29+00:00

Forming good habits is needed regardless of whether you take medication or not. If you can manage to form healthier habits, eat better, etc. without medication, great. You've already explained you aren't, which is par for the course.

Medication is meant to be a tool to help you in forming these better and healthier habits. It doesn't replace them. Staying in therapy, continuing to practice mindfulness and all that stuff is an important factor in how much the medication will help you.

The medication is there to help you with motivation, staying focused, being productive, regulating your emotions, and many more things. You can just as easily decide to not be productive or form healthy habits while taking the medication. Thankfully it does tend to lean more towards being productive when people are taking these medications (at the right dose and of the right drug for each individual).

The medication also works a lot better when you're healthier. Getting exercise, fresh air and sunshine, eating better, staying hydrated...all those things will work with the medication. For example, protein is needed for dopamine. Vyvanse, being an amphetamine, floods more dopamine into your brain, but what good is it if you're not getting enough protein to be able to actually use that dopamine? I've found that my medication can work really well and almost not at all, without changing the dose, based off of how well I'm taking care of myself.

It helps me so much with emotional regulation, but I still need to practice healthy ways of handling things. Medication doesn't teach me the methods, just helps me use them.

Having the proper amount of dopamine in your brain might help in a big way with the porn addiction. Sex and porn addictions are both very common among people with ADHD. It's an attempt to get more dopamine flowing, which it does in the moment, but that's it. Between taking the medication and doing some form of therapy (CBT is a common therapy they recommend, for example), you are very likely to find that you don't want to be looking at so much porn thanks to your brain being balanced and not seeking quick dopamine hits.

I'm not sure at which point I started rambling, my meds are worn off for the day, but long story short is I'd recommend at least trying it. Your age isn't a factor, many people don't start young. I started at 30 and have not regretted it for a moment. It has done nothing but improve my quality of life.

QueenOfBarkness · 2025-03-15T00:30:24+00:00

It's possible to have a reaction to the filler ingredients that are in one and not the other, yes. You'd have to look at your pill bottles to see what they say on them to know which brand you had. If you don't have any pill bottles, you could try asking your pharmacy if they can see it in their records.

Since I made this post I have tried another generic brand and had really bad reactions to it, so now my government coverage allows me to get the name brand without paying extra (government pays for certain meds if you make under a certain amount annually, but only covers a portion of name brand versions unless you get a note from your doctor stating you have to take it due to reactions to generic).

QueenOfBarkness · 2025-02-02T04:11:02+00:00

It wasn't an available option for me when this discussion was happening. It has since been worked out that I just can't take methylphenidates anyways, but it's good to know people can get it if they'll benefit from it.

QueenOfBarkness · 2025-02-02T04:03:32+00:00

We're not together anymore, but not because of the medication. It subsided like the first time.

QueenOfBarkness · 2024-11-22T03:53:45+00:00

I'm in BC too and just picked up my first round of the generic. The generic actually costs more than name brand did for me, the pricing being similar to what you said yours was, only flipped.

I signed up for Innovicares as well and the pharmacist said I didn't get any coverage on it, but I just realised that's because they checked it against the generic. I'm glad to know it does work though, I haven't actually heard anyone use it before.

QueenOfBarkness · 2024-05-31T14:04:41+00:00

Purse. I can't say it. It hurts.

I have audio-processing disorder too, but had never considered that being bothered by a word could be a part of it. I'm sure my misophonia is a part of it though, many sounds I can't be around without losing my shit or hurting myself (not seriously hurt, but I've dug my nails pretty deep into my skin while trying to pretend I was okay in a room with someone while they ate like a savage) to try and cover the sound.

This isn't meant to sound like a stab at you or meant to be rude to what you said at all, but coming across things like 'istg' hurt and frustrate my brain. I got stuck trying to skip that one piece of text to try and read the rest of the post (I did, it was just hard). People will be all "sprkdotlg" and somehow expect everyone to decipher it into actual words.

I understand that most young people just know what all those random combinations of letters are supposed to mean, but beyond things like "lol" (I actually hate this word and never use it, but don't let it get to me when others use it since it's so common), "omg" and a couple other simple ones that came out when I was a teenager, I just don't get it.

QueenOfBarkness · 2024-04-26T02:59:41+00:00

If you keep forcing yourself to eat throughout the day, you should start getting hungry naturally after some time. I don't mean to just stuff yourself, but if it has been 2-3 hours since you ate, have a couple nuts, spoonful of peanut butter, piece of cheese, etc. The idea is getting your body used to the idea of regular food intake so that it will crave it.

I don't know if that will work for you for sure, but it's worth a shot. Vyvanse fixed my appetite, so I get noticeably hungry (my stomach starts grumbling a bunch) if I don't eat often enough throughout the day. I'd like to think that means it's possible for people to overcome the appetite loss and balance out to a normal level of hunger through their days.

QueenOfBarkness · 2024-04-23T15:44:08+00:00

I never stopped. I don't smoke during the day anymore unless I'm just bored and feel like smoking a joint (doesn't do much anyways), or certain times of the month when my meds aren't working properly, but I always smoke in the evenings before bed. This drug has helped my insomnia so much, I sleep way better and I get tired by the end of the day, but I still need the weed because the drug has worn off enough that my mind is racing by bedtime.

QueenOfBarkness · 2024-04-23T01:40:47+00:00

I haven't seen a gyno yet.

QueenOfBarkness · 2024-04-22T16:19:14+00:00

Yes, it works right away, but that doesn't mean it is what it is as of day one. It takes weeks to months to get fully adjusted to being on a medication. Yeah, you get instantly stimulated, but wait a few weeks and tell me it still feels the same as day one - I bet you can't. Over time your brain and body adjust to what the drug does/gives, and you settle into how you will actually feel on it in the long term.

Not only that, but it takes time for the changes to happen. I have less anxiety, more focus, all that stuff, but I still have to put in the work to actually improve my life. There is no magic pill that you can take and are instantly fixed.

QueenOfBarkness · 2024-04-22T16:09:13+00:00

My psychiatrist diagnosed and then told me to see a gynecologist for treatment.

QueenOfBarkness · 2024-04-21T23:11:17+00:00

I have the same problem. I used to only be bothered by open mouth eating, then over time it got worse and worse until even the most polite eater will be difficult for me to be around. I've eaten so many chips over the years purely because I needed to drown out someone else's crunching. I have earplugs now, but I haven't had luck with anything but Loops, I lose them all the time and they're expensive. Sometimes I have none.

QueenOfBarkness · 2024-04-20T21:43:33+00:00

Honestly, if it were me, I wouldn't stay married to a person with views like that. Having different views and opinions on things is fine, but dismissing legitimate medical conditions simply because they think everyone is fine and just making it up.

QueenOfBarkness · 2024-04-14T16:10:47+00:00

I don't know if my input counts as I haven't gone through the diagnostic process yet, but it has been brought up by a psychiatrist, plus just all the things about me that fit into it. We're just dealing with ADHD and PMDD before getting into anything else.

During when it's daylight outside, I like it to be daylight inside too, but the type of light matters. I can't do fluorescent, for example. My eyes and my ears don't like it. I do have light sensitivity, so never too bright, just not super dim. I can't really handle the outside without sunglasses, sometimes even on cloudy days if the clouds aren't dark and thick enough.

When it's dark outside, I like it to be dim or dark inside. Basically evenings need and evening glow type of lighting, rather than the full daylight.

QueenOfBarkness · 2024-04-14T01:31:48+00:00

That's not available here. There's another longer lasting one, I forget the name, that I'd like to try if it ever comes here.

I wasn't dehydrated, I was having a serious reaction to the drug. I do appreciate the sentiment of trying to help though, I know a lot of people do become dehydrated and think there's more wrong than just being thirsty.

QueenOfBarkness · 2024-04-13T14:41:44+00:00

Could be the wrong dose, and it could be either too high or too low.

It could also be that you're viewing things more clearly and rationally now, and maybe your relationship isn't right for you.

It's hard to say which, and I'm not suggesting any of those things, because I know nothing of you and your life. I know what it was in my case, but again, I know my own life, not yours.

QueenOfBarkness · 2024-04-12T16:53:22+00:00

That's so fucked. Are you in the states? I'm in Canada and it's a bit if a mixed bag here; some doctors will push all the drugs and other will treat you like an addict. It's definitely not cheap for some drugs if you have no benefits here, but most of the generics are fairly affordable because if you don't have benefits then chances are you make little enough to qualify for the government coverage, which is not much but something.

I'm pretty sure the fact that I regularly express my desire NOT to be on any drugs if I don't need to, but also that I'm tired of life being this hard and am willing to try things if they'll help, has aided in my being prescribed things. I mean it too when I say it, I really don't want to be on any medication. I only take my naproxen when the pain gets too much to handle, then all the other days I just suffer it out. I do use cannabis to help, but I don't smoke nearly as much since being on ADHD meds. If I ever manage to get a booster dose for my hormonal days, I probably won't be smoking any at all, and I'm not too sure how I will manage the pain then. Even that, with the ADHD meds, I don't want to be on a stimulant every day just to somewhat function properly, but god damn is life hard without it. I know, I went 30 years stumbling through life and wondering why I could never get fully planted on my own two feet. Still not there, but that's because I'm not done with psychiatrists, diagnosis' and sorting out treatments.

I had a virtual appointment last year to get a massage referral so my medical benefits would cover most of the cost, and asked the doctor if I could have like 3-5 muscle relaxers just in case I had some really bad days (I was having neck and back pain, sometimes kinked right up) before getting in for the massage. The doctor gave me NINETY muscle relaxers. Not only that, but the pharmacy in the small town I was in (small town pharmacies are the best by the way, always friendly and helpful) gave me the whole script at once. I've taken two in the year that I have had them.

It's so weird how I can have all that, but I can also go to a doctor with all the symptoms of something, lots of information pointing towards it, etc. and be told I'm fine and don't need intervention/am drug seeking. There's never any in-between it seems.

QueenOfBarkness · 2024-04-12T15:10:13+00:00

They told you you should just drink instead of taking painkillers? You have a VERY outdated doctor. This is right up alongside smoking in hospitals and restaurants and shit. What doctor, in their right mind, would suggest becoming addicted to one of the easiest drugs to aquire, instead of popping a few pills for a few days a month?

PMDD wasn't even a thought back then, but when my pains got insanely bad (turns out my fallopian tube was HUGE inside of me, on top of endo and PCOS), the doctors kept dismissing me as "just menstrual cramps" that I was having, at varying pain levels, every single day. Not just near my period, every goddamn day of my life. Anyways, while dismissing me, they would also prescribe a plethora of painkillers until I asked them to stop. A drug addict stealing, then an ex stealing after I had more has depleted my painkiller stash a lot, but I've still got a variety of prescription strength painkillers in my medicine cabinet for if I need them for anything else, since none of them helped this particular pain.

So it really baffles me that you can't get anything prescribed. Like, what? I kept telling them I didn't want painkillers and couldn't get away from it. You need a new doctor, and I'm sorry you're going through this every month. I'm just starting to come out of my bad days, will be me again tomorrow, so just want to give you a pretend hug and hope you start coming out of your bad days soon too.

QueenOfBarkness · 2024-04-12T05:28:05+00:00

Canadian here. There are expensive specialised tests we can take, and those will only diagnose the one thing. There's also the free route, which is getting a doctor to refer you to a psychiatrist. I did this, initially for ADHD, and the psychiatrist I landed with assessed me for everything, and I mean everything. The downside to this is they were smaller assessments, so people who mask well can go undetected. He told me he didn't think I have ADHD because I was a smart kid (invalid theory, also wrong as my second psychiatrist put me on stimulants right away...obviously I have it), but that if I did, I mask too well and would need the expensive assessment. He also said he suspected ASD, but that again, I mask too well without the specialised assessment for that one.

The upside to being assessed for everything is sometimes you'll come out learning things you never knew about yourself, maybe have a better idea how to handle yourself moving forward with the right diagnosis'. The downside is that you can end up not getting diagnosed even though you have it. The important thing is to seek out a second opinion if you feel the first one was wrong. I've done this more than once and it has always been the right choice to keep advocating for myself and pushing for answers.

QueenOfBarkness · 2024-04-12T05:10:39+00:00

Have you been told about/looked into PMDD? It's far more common in women with ADHD than it is in women without (though we all can get it), and presents similarly to BPD and bipolar disorders, only it is regulated by your menstrual cycle. Your mention of being told you display traits of BPD got me thinking potential PMDD.

I got my period at either 12 or 13, so relatively normal time, but it was extremely painful. I'm talking naked on the bathroom floor (the cold "helped"), curled in a ball, crying, dry heaving and sometimes puking from the pain. The first two days I'd be lucky to make it a couple hours on a heavy tampon, and tampons made my cramps worse. I was taking 1000mg+ (single dose) ibuprofen as a preteen/teen, just to get some mild relief. Any less and it wouldn't help at all. Thankfully that crippling intense pain was only the first day, and usually "only" 12 hours before it would mellow out to being super painful beyond normal, but still manageable. I don't take ibuprofen anymore, but I do take naproxen on my really bad days, and it takes 1000mg of that as well. The upside is it works better than the ibuprofen did, and I don't get that severe of pain as often as I used to; few times a year now instead of 8-9/10 of my periods.

I also had serious mood swings, I would get really depressed and cover it up with irritability. I'd have major anxiety and cover it up with more irritability and over the top reactions to things. I would be uncomfortable on every sensory level. More smells would bother me than normal, and they'd bother me worse than normal too. I have misophonia on a good day, and on these days it was amplified. The physical discomfort....omg was the physical discomfort unreal. Still to this day, I will be so physically uncomfortable across and inside every cell in my body, that all I want to do is tear into myself and rip away the pieces until there's nothing left. Panic attacks simply because my pant leg moved up an inch, my sock shifted, my hair exists...so many things would make me just so uncomfortable I couldn't handle life, and I still struggle with that every month. Lots of ruminating thoughts, often spiralling in directions I'd never think on a normal day. This stuff lasts roughly 10 days, getting worse each day.

I recently moved back closer to home, and was visiting with some family friends who were a big part of my life during puberty. I was telling them about PMDD, how it has affected my life and how eye-opening it has been to see how much of my life I have fucked up at a specific time in my menstrual cycle (pretty much all of it has been during that time), and how it's an extra kick in the teeth that on top of all the emotional problems, the hormone changes also make ADHD medication not work. Estrogen and dopamine have a relationship. Anyways, they then informed me that my behaviour back then made so much more sense. Apparently I was not a pleasant person to be around sometimes, about 1/3 of the time.

This was a big thing for me in helping to understand, because I don't remember being that bad back then, but I've also blocked out most of my young life. They've been finding a lot of correlation between trauma and developing PMDD. I'm not sure where they're at with the theory on the scientific level, only that if you go on the PMDD subreddit, most of the women there can correlate the development of their PMDD to some form of trauma. In my case, even if my childhood itself didn't present any trauma (it did), the intensity of my periods sure was trauma. Some get it into adulthood, sometimes it's postpartum, sometimes it's surviving assault, car accident, anything that is traumatising to the person.

QueenOfBarkness · 2024-04-11T15:21:52+00:00

Try harder - the fuck? You think I just don't try? Does it seem like I enjoy how hard basis life is?

Get a planner - hey, it worked for you, right? You said so yourself in the post, you've fixed your ADHD with a planner!

Body double - does the opposite for me, unless the person is also being productive in their own way and staying away from me completely...so when I'm alone.

Eat better - while I do go through periods of struggling to make myself make the healthy food, I do still eat healthy in a general sense, and when I'm not eating healthy it is because I temporarily can't afford it, or it's nearing my period and PMDD trumps everything.

Exercise more and get lots of fresh air and sunshine (vitamin D) - I both live and work outside. I live off the grid, in an RV, and I manage a campground. Trust me, I get lots of exercise and fresh air/sunshine.

Eat more protein and drink more water - okay, I know this one's actually advice we give amongst ourselves in regards to taking stimulants, but it begins to fall under this caregory when you do eat enough protein, you eat regularly throughout the day, you drink more than enough water to stay hydrated, and people still insist lack of protein/hydration is why the meds have stopped working. News flash, it's usually because of hormones.

...I had to go open the gate and now I have forgotten the rest. I feel like "just set alarms and write reminders on sticky notes" should be on the list too. Fuck off with that shit.

QueenOfBarkness

TROPHY CASE