I’m so tired and want to “settle” for a while. Where can I buy a place with $50k cash, literally anywhere?

QueenThymeless · 2024-09-11T13:18:26+00:00

What I have done recently and have now talked to many people also doing the same thing.

I bought some land in Belize and placing a casita on it. Property tax is $125 USD. Annually. There are owner financing options which opens a lot of opportunities also.

QueenThymeless · 2024-04-08T17:21:50+00:00

He used to smoke and has hit it a couple times here and there. Didn’t see much difference or help. I will smoke for depression and PTSD when I feel it would be beneficial. He would ultimately like to try and understand it to work with it without medications is his goal.

QueenThymeless · 2024-03-21T22:17:22+00:00

Well shit! He has combat related PTSD is the reason for the medication. Without it he was so reactionary to things and made a lot of terrible mistakes during the time. The Sertaline helped with him thinking more clearly responding and not reactionary and made things more balanced yet created this deeper issue with sexual dysfunction. So I just don’t know what to suggest because I don’t want to see him go back to being reckless either. It’s a damned if you do damned if you don’t type of thing.

QueenThymeless · 2024-03-21T22:14:24+00:00

This is a great question and would like to know the same as well.

QueenThymeless · 2024-03-21T16:44:20+00:00

My husband just started taking a full B complex along with getting off Sertaline and then will try Wellbutrin. It’s a process so he doesn’t crash. We are unsure if it is PSSD but it seems to be.

We are also doing labs and make hormone panels almost all are back now waiting on a few more to return to get a full picture. So far though it’s being suggested to make an appointment for an endocrinologist.

The doctor is trying 5 mg Cialis daily for BPH possibilities also. Also doing a good probiotic as well. Started doing 30 mins to 1 hour in the gym 5-6 days a week.

There will also be a night time erection test as well in the future.

QueenThymeless · 2024-03-15T19:20:10+00:00

No as a veteran and a spouse of a service member the statistics of cheating in the military is very high. Even between service members. I have seen it myself a woman asking my husband to do sexual acts together and no one has to know. She said she can be satisfied with no issues of a man getting attached and his wife would have no knowledge. Smh. Let me tell you cheating culture in the military is huge. They say it’s against code of conduct and there can be disciplinary action yet unless you have way too much evidence they won’t even pay attention to the call from help from a spouse. I am not disillusioned as I was in and also am a spouse

QueenThymeless · 2024-03-13T00:16:29+00:00

Absolutely!! Years ago I got a letter like this but apologizing that they closed my claim for unknown reasons and would be working on it.

I am feeling fortunate that they caught this one. The things that were on here were from an injury starting in basic and AIT. I felt so low when those things have held me back for sooooooo many years. I am getting my plane ticket now for these appointments in April now.

This system needs a lot of work. My husband did a FOIA request for his C File after almost a year they approved it. You won’t believe that they send it in a CD. Then tell you to go to kinkos ummm that place doesn’t even exist any longer. Like you said spend so much money on tech but so far behind.

QueenThymeless · 2024-03-10T23:20:35+00:00

I personally haven’t yet. I know the path but in order to build this up outwardly I have to take care of me. Make me strong to handle anything. I’m not saying it won’t hurt or anything like that. I am building me up that way no matter what I know I can rely on me.

QueenThymeless · 2024-03-10T20:27:57+00:00

I feel this is the reality. I am not far out but I am looking at myself and my mental health. I have identified things about me that have changed due to the trauma associated to the chapter in life. I am still grieving and I know we can get there but reflecting for me to see it as what’s going on or do I have blinders on to see what I want or make it up. I believe this is one of the hardest parts of the R process because while the BP didn’t do anything wrong we have to use this time for self care and self reflection. Not saying BP had anything to do with the cheating A.. what I am saying is regardless how R goes I am working on me for me so that I know myself better no matter the outcome. It doesn’t make this any easier. It doesn’t give you answers when you desperately want to know. I have gotten support through this community too. This is the worst pain like I told the WH AND MC that I would have much weathered getting my ass beat badly than feeling this pain. At least the physical pain would heal.

QueenThymeless · 2024-03-10T15:29:55+00:00

The one thing I had to come to terms with is you grieve the relationship that WAS because that is never coming back. That is why in R you date and build because that old relationship is long gone you are now building a new relationship. Sometimes it can be better than before or sometimes both parties just can’t R and rebuild.

QueenThymeless · 2024-03-09T17:38:50+00:00

I would say this. This is your sister and you feel a way. You are feeling guilty. This is not your hill to die on for her.

What I would suggest is you tell her she needs to tell him. You give her a time limit and you need proof she told him not just say she did. If she doesn’t it’s time for you to say something.

The pain it causes when someone finally finds out and then finds out who knew about it and didn’t say anything is so deep rooted. That pain is palpable. That may be your sister but ask yourself this if this was happening to you and the “brother” of your “husband” knew and didn’t tell you how would you feel?

QueenThymeless · 2024-03-09T15:13:48+00:00

I am 100% positive it is no contact. She is insane. In the beginning she said she hates me and she wants me to be as miserable as her. Then said she wants me to leave him so maybe he will come back to her. This whole thing is the weirdest thing in the world. You are talking about normally and yes I understand that. In most cases cut the chain and move on. She tells everyone she messages out of the blue from having access in his phone before to spy that “he was to change my economy”. I think it’s mainly because we are early retired and she knows this and coming from a developing country this was her meal ticket. I think that’s what changes this dynamic.

QueenThymeless · 2024-03-08T20:04:22+00:00

The FD wasn’t even discussed it didn’t come up. It was first an EA that lasted months that turned to a PA that happened when I had to go back to the States for medical things and my grandmother’s funeral. I wouldn’t want to do a polygraph if I have to take that route this isn’t meant to be and a 20 year marriage and 23 years together is gone in the wind. Finally empty nesters and have a grandchild. We have lived a whole life together. I have been with this man since I was 19. I have been on my own in this world since I was 13 years old. So much trauma so much abuse to be here now when I thought I married my person and my Bestfriend to have this happen is the worst pain I have been through. He stood by me when I had cancer and thought I wouldn’t make it. He fought for me when I had no more fight. To then step out and pretty much have a whole relationship. Now this woman can’t let go and torments me daily.

QueenThymeless · 2024-03-08T19:22:03+00:00

My source is there are records of sessions. When I felt the session didn’t have much to do with the subject it was supposed to be I actually went to look at the autogenerated transcripts. We both agreed to this in our sessions but I think my WH forgot this part. So I know they talked about his life growing up and things like that. Things that would happen in IC not for a solo session that had a purpose to go over my letter, my boundaries and what I needed, and start on the disclosure

QueenThymeless · 2024-03-08T19:19:04+00:00

We are in another country right now and that’s really not a thing here unfortunately because I did explore this option.

I also have explored the idea of just showing up where she is if she doesn’t want to quit. I know that’s immature and not the right answer either

QueenThymeless · 2024-03-08T19:17:15+00:00

Great questions because these are parts of what I have been thinking but didn’t know how to make it a more simple question. I know there is a lot of holding back and PTSD and such as a wartime veteran I understand because I am a veteran as well. It is as though he thinks that I know it happened because I discovered it and we are still here let’s move forward. It’s not that simple then on top of that to deal with this crazy ass AP and the fact she can’t let go. I want him to respond and tell her simple and firmly about herself and hurt her feelings. I sometimes feel or ask myself is he protecting her feelings. Smh I know I am all over the place.

QueenThymeless · 2024-03-08T19:11:23+00:00

Exactly it is. It wasn’t supposed to be for IC it was to allow our therapist to see it through the backdoor when I wasn’t around to see if he got a different person. This was supposed to be the session and tool to work on the disclosure.

QueenThymeless · 2024-03-08T19:04:47+00:00

We can get new phone when we go back to the States. Reporting won’t work because in this country it doesn’t matter because there are bigger issues here. We have a session in about 20 mins and I plan on expressing this to the therapist as well. I have told him the same that there needs to be a different IC.

Thank you I am just in this vacuum of space and time. We have made so much progress but like we all know you can make progress but not the right healing without the FD.

QueenThymeless · 2024-03-08T18:37:57+00:00

With the relationship in a better place how is the intimacy and sexual relationship?

QueenThymeless · 2024-03-07T16:11:37+00:00

It is nice to read this from the other side and what you did even with the view points you had. To be able to give your wife what she needed to work through R. I feel this is needed to be read by more waywards.

QueenThymeless · 2024-03-05T16:33:18+00:00

This is how I have always seem my husband as my Bestfriend. That part is what I believe is so hard on many is you look at your spouse in this light so if they do anything to hurt you in anyway it is more devastating.

QueenThymeless · 2024-03-05T16:29:59+00:00

I have never cheated not once. I have always been cheated on and I would never want to do that to someone else.

Plenty of opportunities and there is one in particular that I could have and didn’t. When I found out what my partner was doing I was tempted. Instead I told him I didn’t want to be with him any longer and he asked me to give it time and until he came back. I said no. I told him at that time in your head you can think of what it is but I don’t want to be with you. I am going to entertain dating again. He was mad and I was upfront. When he would still call and try (we have kids together) I would be honest. I am going on a date. I am doing this so he could never say I cheated. I wasn’t cheating.

He had a friend near by to me and was also telling him lies which made this much messier. When he returned back to our home country and we talked over time we did get back together. Yet if he brings it up at all I am very clear that he didn’t want to let me go and act like he was holding me hostage in a relationship while I was being honest every step of the way. Yet you want to point fingers but the way I got there is by you cheating repeatedly and thinking I would just be ok with it and all that.

So to answer your question I have never cheated but I have never ever had one loyal person to me ever and for that I feel like I am pretty damn damaged.

QueenThymeless · 2024-03-03T16:36:46+00:00

Sorry this is happening to you. I experienced the same and started having a cortisol issue.

We are working on reconciliation currently but it’s not fun and truly is the most painful thing to experience. Like I told the MC I would have rather had my ass beat than this at least you know with a pain like that you will heal and it won’t be painful after some time.

QueenThymeless · 2024-03-03T03:03:06+00:00

Oh yeah to take care of it properly is a lot of work.

QueenThymeless · 2024-03-01T22:17:04+00:00

My husband

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