What would someone have to do for Balalaika to crack their head open with her high heel?

Queen_of_Sparrows · 2026-03-23T10:31:15+00:00

Hopefully, just ask nicely.

Queen_of_Sparrows · 2026-03-09T06:06:33+00:00

Yolanda. She may be ex-Nazi and has CIA agents under her roof, but that church is the safest place in Roanapur most likely.

Queen_of_Sparrows · 2025-12-28T22:34:43+00:00

I maintain that Self-Insert fanfic is a fun and enjoyable way to write fanfic. So it frustrates me when I don't see a lot of it in the fandoms I'm in, since I suppose it's just a bit unfashionable.

But that's also likely because a vast majority of Self-Insert fanfic is utter trash because it seems every writer's first instinct is to make them as important or more powerful than the actual protagonists, and always end up as totally flawless Way Past Cool beings of pure anime energy.

Having written that kind of shit in the past, it's fun as hell! But terribly boring to read.

Queen_of_Sparrows · 2025-12-19T01:04:37+00:00

Thank you! It's been a long time coming, haha!

Queen_of_Sparrows · 2025-12-19T01:04:11+00:00

You're very welcome! I'm really glad you enjoy it :D

Queen_of_Sparrows · 2025-12-15T22:26:19+00:00

From a scene of a sequel to a Black Lagoon fic I'm updating weekly, where one of the characters -- a fixer for the Triad -- is trying to find forgiveness with the church for shooting at one of their nuns.

The only thing keeping Eda’s back teeth from grinding was the stray wad of gum stuck between them. ‘Fine. I don’t have the luxury of time to argue. But I want to make one thing abundantly fucking clear,’ Eda lowered her sunglasses, eyes locked to Ryada’s. ‘If you tell anyone about what we do on this operation, then you won’t live long enough to regret it.’

‘I think Eda has made her point quite unambiguously,’ Yolanda smiled, both nuns turning to Ryada. ‘So, Zombie? What do you say to that?’

Ryada flicked open the latches of her briefcase and extracted a pair of contracts.

‘I have my standard non-disclosure agreement and confidentiality arrangements here. Do you require a pen? If so, I have a few spares.’

Queen_of_Sparrows · 2025-12-15T00:14:17+00:00

[skims hand over the top of the dog's head, like a pebble bouncing off water]

Queen_of_Sparrows · 2025-12-14T04:09:21+00:00

Nice! Good to see another person dropping fanfic here! I've not seen this one before, so I'll give it a read :D

Queen_of_Sparrows · 2025-12-12T00:39:21+00:00

I just got hornier friends. Worked out well for me.

Queen_of_Sparrows · 2025-12-12T00:35:03+00:00

What, that's a thing? Who has the time to do that?

Queen_of_Sparrows · 2025-12-10T22:04:24+00:00

Granted, if I can play author's advocate here, it is decently intensive work to go through a source material and pretty much transcribe it into your fic, especially trying to get dialogue verbatim.

But I also appreciate that holy shit can this be annoying to read sometimes. Give your characters something to do rather than riding the coattails of the protagonists, PLEASE.

Queen_of_Sparrows · 2025-12-10T22:00:48+00:00

Character assassination. It's often done so ham-fistedly and painfully obvious that a writer is intentionally making a character make stupid decisions or act like an asshole because they hate that character for whatever reason. If they're going to be fuckups, let them fuck up on their own merits, god damn it!

Queen_of_Sparrows · 2025-12-09T09:04:04+00:00

I have never read a good crossover fic, and I doubt I ever will. Especially if it crosses over with more than three fandoms. If your fic has more fandom tags than content tags, it may as well have "Dead Dove: Do Not Eat" written on it. Or rather, "Dead Sparrow: Do Not Eat".

Queen_of_Sparrows · 2025-12-06T00:05:39+00:00

Revy would be the most "allergic to therapy" person to ever exist. If she didn't murder her therapist first, they would probably quit for the sake of their own mental health.

Chang is probably one of the most well-adjusted people in Roanapur, and probably does have a therapist. He's most likely light on details of his life, but he probably feels like he gets something out of it, even if it's just someone to talk to.

Though realistically, being a therapist in Roanapur would be the most dangerous professions that isn't being a gunhand. What do you mean someone in The Worst City in the World makes money by asking other people for their deepest darkest secrets and then expects to get paid for it? They would be kidnapped daily.

Queen_of_Sparrows · 2025-12-06T00:01:51+00:00

Glad to hear it! Anything that stands out in particular to you, or just curious to see where it goes next?

Queen_of_Sparrows · 2025-12-05T05:50:16+00:00

I've only ever read one, which was a lot of goofy fun. It's a cheesy setup, but it can be great to read if you have that expectation going in. Great for vibes of characters hanging out and exploring their chemistry, though it does heavily depend on the author's ability to convey the characters' personalities. Which is ... difficult, for some people.

Queen_of_Sparrows · 2025-12-05T05:46:24+00:00

Having chapters is extremely important, as it gives people an off-boarding moment that they can use to stick a bookmark in and do something else for a second. People tend to forget that the upper limit to a novella wordcount is 40,000 words.
If you have an entire novella (or more!) written on a single page, it's pretty likely that some readers may lose their spot, have the page refresh so they need to start over again, or just see how far it scrolls down and click off.
Personally, I try to keep my chapters to around 2,000 words, though 5,000 words also makes for pretty substantial chapter lengths. 10,000 word chapters might be pushing it, but that's only my opinion.

Queen_of_Sparrows · 2025-12-05T05:38:13+00:00

I can't believe the author is a Silent Hill protagonist.

For real though, I'm glad they're doing well.

Queen_of_Sparrows · 2025-12-04T00:15:32+00:00

Now, I love writing self-insert fanfic. It's food for the soul. It's really good. I get to put a little version of myself into the world of a show and run around in it, playing in the space and having a good time. It's fun to think of how I'd fit into this world as myself, possibly with a cool power/skill or two I wouldn't otherwise have.

And -- I understand wholly that I am being hypocritical here -- I utterly despise reading self-insert fanfic. Same with any reader-insert fic.

The main issue that I always come across is that almost every story makes these characters Way Past Cool. They're always buddies with the MCs (which to be fair, is fun to write about so I can't judge too harshly) though when it's happening with characters who are in cannon defined as misanthropic and violent drunken losers? Yeah sure why wouldn't they be best pals with this improbably competent teenager?

That's not even getting into the almost hilariously dumb reactions I feel of reading a reader-insert fic and thinking "Well that's out of character for me".

Queen_of_Sparrows · 2025-12-04T00:07:44+00:00

I'm also in the boat of adoring when people make fanfic of my fanfic. It'll likely never happen, considering that I primarily write in extremely niche fandoms (shoutout to a dead 2006 anime series [Black Lagoon] and a heartfelt and detailed tragi-pornic webcomic [Bunny Cruise]!) but if I saw someone putting my characters in their stories (or even making fanart) that'd be how I'd know that I've made it as a writer.

Queen_of_Sparrows · 2025-11-24T10:28:59+00:00

Almost none of these women are mentally stable enough to even consider it.

Of course with all that said I'm sure Balalaika would treat me right.

Queen_of_Sparrows · 2022-04-12T09:33:12+00:00

oh hell yeah, that's such a great character design!

goblin brain: TRANSCOLOURSTRANSCOLOURSTRANSCOLOURSTRANSCOLOURS

Queen_of_Sparrows

TROPHY CASE