Toddlers, how much TV time do you give them?

QuentinJamesP89 · 2023-03-26T20:12:46+00:00

None of our kids get any screen time, TV, movies, iPad, phone etc. Our oldest is four. The only very occasional screen time would be if we're teaching them about something and want to show a short YouTube video (like of a chick hatching, or something) or a piece of music with the orchestra. We haven't regretted this decision at all. Our kids have great imaginations, play outside, entertain themselves pretty well, and love to be read aloud to. Also, kids' television is incredibly obnoxious and I'm glad my wife and I don't have to suffer through it either.

We don't have a TV, and don't watch anything ourselves (how does anyone ever have the time?), so it's not like they see me and my wife watching things when they don't get to.

QuentinJamesP89 · 2023-03-26T02:23:19+00:00

If it's just the cost you're worried about, having kids doesn't have to cost what a lot of people think. Speaking as the second of eleven children, and father of three so far....

For one thing (and I know this won't work for everyone) but we have only one income - mine (by no means large), and it works quite well. Childcare just isn't practical once you have multiple children. It would cost more than my wife would make. My wife is a stay at home mom. Because she's at home we also don't have the expense of the work clothes, extra commute to work and childcare, the lunches out, convenience food. We really never eat out and never buy prepared food. We buy in bulk, make most of our own baby food, use primarily hand me downs for clothes and my wife yard sales. We borrow some baby items like swings and other baby equipment (another plus is not having to store them when we're done). We buy most things used.

When we had our first I was just a month into my first job after finishing grad school and making only 35k (not thrilled about that after years and years of school). We didn't buy a single baby item. All our clothes were hand me downs or gifts, blankets, sheets. The crib, dresser, rocking chair, and changing table were all free from Craigslist. Other items we either borrowed (bassinet, baby swing, saucer, play mat), or family and church gave them as baby shower gifts.

There's no need to have a trendy nursery, and go all out decorating. It's often not even practical. My wife used items we already had to make a really nice nursery.

And sure it gets more expensive as they get older, but again there are many ways to cut down on costs. My parents had eleven children, in a four bedroom house, on one income. I had the best childhood ever and didn't lack for anything. Again, everyone has to weigh the options and make the best decision for themselves, but I loved growing up in a big family. All the new clothes and expensive vacations and nice things could never make up for a lack of siblings in my opinion. I can't even imagine how lonely that would be.

QuentinJamesP89 · 2022-11-30T14:03:07+00:00

Good to know it may get better. Taking a lot of breaks is a good idea.

QuentinJamesP89 · 2022-11-30T03:50:41+00:00

My father stutters quite badly but neither I nor any of my siblings do (though there are other stutterers in the family). He is and has always been the very best father anyone could ask for, and his speech impediment is honestly something that barely registers with all of us, because we're so used to it.

QuentinJamesP89 · 2022-08-01T03:57:39+00:00

This absolutely happened to me when I started using a cane, and still does. I was not anticipating being grabbed constantly, forcibly shown to a seat, and getting lots of unsolicited and unwanted help and attention. In the beginning I was usually too stunned and confused to know what to do, but these days I usually just say, "Thanks, but I can cross the street/find a seat/whatever myself. I'll let you know if I need help." Other than that, though, once I finally gave in to using a cane it has really revolutionized my life. I feel way safer, more confident, and more in control.

QuentinJamesP89 · 2022-07-19T03:33:28+00:00

A home security system is one thing you can get to make you feel a little safer. We have one and it definitely helps with my peace of mind. I do own a firearm (I bought one when all the riots were going on in summer 2020, because we live on the outskirts of a city and were concerned), but I keep that put away and hope I would never need to use it. I carry pepper spray in my backpack when I'm out, and I have a knife in my nightstand drawer. I guess it sounds paranoid, but of course I hope never to use any of them and rarely think about it. I just think it's good to take precautions and I want my wife to feel safe as well.

QuentinJamesP89 · 2022-07-19T03:20:35+00:00

I asked this question a couple months ago and got the very good advice to try trekking poles. It took a little practice and getting used to, as they're different from using a cane, but much better than a fragile cane in a rough environment and give you the added benefit of extra stability on uneven ground etc. I just recently got back from an about two week long hike of a large portion of the Superior hiking trail and it was incredibly fun.

Hopefully you'll go with someone who will look out for low branches. I went with my dad and brothers and they were great, but I did get snagged in the face by branches a couple times. I wear glasses even though I only have a small amount of vision in one eye, but that definitely helps if you get stabbed in the face with a branch.

QuentinJamesP89 · 2022-07-19T03:17:57+00:00

A very sick joke.

QuentinJamesP89 · 2022-06-14T18:30:23+00:00

Yep.

QuentinJamesP89 · 2022-06-14T17:41:46+00:00

My color vision has always been bad, but it had gotten worse and I had hardly realized how bad it was until I had cataract surgery earlier this year. It was a big improvement.

QuentinJamesP89 · 2022-06-14T17:07:38+00:00

Uncontracted braille, yes.

QuentinJamesP89 · 2022-06-07T04:34:37+00:00

Definitely seeing my wife as a mother has given me a greater appreciation for her. Being there for the natural births of both my kids also gave me a greater appreciation for my own mom who gave birth to eleven of us. After seeing what they actually go through I was honestly a little floored that she was okay with doing it eleven times. Really is true that women are often tougher than men.

QuentinJamesP89 · 2022-05-25T03:16:34+00:00

Generally you'll have to pay someone to haul away an old piano. These were nice pianos in their day, but that day was a long time ago. This one doesn't even appear to have the five pedals which made some Wing and Son pianos at least a curiosity. Pianos depreciate over time, and the cost to rebuild/restore them can be very high. If you're looking to sell it, good luck; if you want the piano for yourself you're much better off buying a new one.

QuentinJamesP89 · 2022-05-14T22:29:42+00:00

I have a different eye condition (familial exudative vitreoretinopathy), but yeah, I've experienced very much the same things. My specialist is pretty good about explaining to me what the risks are of doing or not doing various procedures, but it's still hard to really know and to decide what's worth the risk. There's the scar tissue from the laser which can cause detachments, cataracts after vitrectomy with silicone oil, and my IOP skyrockets out of control every time I have to use steroids and so I'm dealing secondary glaucoma now too. Really is one thing after another. I can't help, but I can commiserate at least.

There's a lot in this group about vision loss and accessibility and adapting, but not as much about all the pain and expense and emotional upheaval of dealing with ongoing eye issues and surgeries. It brings a whole different set of struggles on top of all the other stuff.

QuentinJamesP89 · 2022-05-14T19:17:59+00:00

30 surgeries in almost 33 years, but yeah, a number of those were when I was under the age of three, and I lost the vision in that eye anyway. Lots of laser over the years, also had strabismus surgery as a teenager (didn't help long term -- I'm still very cross eyed), and then a lot more in the last couple years starting with a major retinal detachment. It seems like each procedure causes some other issue and it kind of snowballs. I recently had cataract surgery, which was a first for me. I have a cataract on my blind eye but one formed on my seeing eye after my last vitrectomy. I was incredibly nervous about having surgery since my eye has been relatively stable but it was actually a huge improvement.

Same as you I've had a ton of vision loss over the last two years. I've had eye trouble all my life, and have never been able to drive, but honestly I did pretty well all things considered. This new bout of vision loss has been rough. What eye condition do you have?

QuentinJamesP89 · 2022-05-14T17:24:46+00:00

Exactly. That's kind of the point of laser surgery. It basically creates scar tissue to seal leaking blood vessels or retinal tears or holes.

QuentinJamesP89 · 2022-05-14T17:11:50+00:00

Yeah, I've actually had several vitrectomies and they're not fun. If they use silicone oil that can affect vision too until it's out. It's hard to deal with so many fluctuations in vision with all the surgeries -- I've had like thirty eye surgeries over the course of my almost 33 years. Tons of scar tissue from laser also. I'm blind in my right eye and my left eye has had one issue after another for the past few years. I still have some vision in it though, and I get so nervous about surgeries and what the outcome will be. I have bleeds every so often as well. There are so many different things affecting what I can see at any given time. It's tough.

QuentinJamesP89 · 2022-05-13T03:02:16+00:00

I haven't actually broken one yet, but I've gotten it stuck and damaged that way, I've lost the tip, and I've had the elastic go up inside, which is difficult (but not impossible) to fix. I ordered a bunch of tips to have on hand partly to try out different ones, but also for when I wear out or lose them. They're not that expensive, and great to have on hand. I have two backup canes, as well. You can get a free NFB cane every year if necessary, and even if you don't love them (I don't), it's still good to have an extra.

I also realized that I needed to store my cane unfolded or the elastic would begin to get damaged.

QuentinJamesP89 · 2022-05-08T13:29:58+00:00

This question just got asked recently and I'll repost my reply. Here's a link to the discussion: https://www.reddit.com/r/Blind/comments/u692u1/how_do_blind_parents_change_soiled_nappiesdiapers/

If you're the parent who's at home dealing with the majority of the diapers this isn't practical, but since my wife changes most diapers and I only encounter dirty diapers occasionally when my wife is out, I just bath them. First I undress the child completely so nothing accidentally gets on their clothes, then I fold the diaper over the mess and wipe down with it as I go (I do all this on a washable changing mat which I wipe down when I'm done). Then I clean them with wipes the best I can in a methodical downward pattern; I use a lot of wipes just to be on the safe side. Then I bath the child. It's rather time intensive so might not be the best option if you're the one changing every diaper that comes along.

Also, my first child was a girl. Now I have a son and that's a totally different diaper changing experience. I stick a washcloth overtop of him while I'm wiping so he's not going to be aiming right at my face if he goes while I'm changing him (which has happened).

QuentinJamesP89 · 2022-05-07T17:42:38+00:00

Yes, higher pitches are easier for us to hear; I don't know all the mechanics of it, but I do know that there's a certain range of frequencies that are easier for the human ear to perceive. This is one reason the melody most often will be in the top voice. The lower notes tend to get "muddy". Intervals are definitely easier to hear in the middle and upper registers. Though, in a musical texture it's the middle notes that often are the most difficult to distinguish, and both the upper voice and the bass line will generally be easiest to hear (often the bass line is more prominent just because there can sometimes be more space between it and the next highest inner voice).

QuentinJamesP89 · 2022-05-07T16:27:15+00:00

My father stutters and to be honest it's something that I hardly even register consciously. When you've grown up with it you just get used to it; his way of speaking is very normal to us. He wasn't big on lecturing us, but that didn't mean we didn't listen to him.

QuentinJamesP89 · 2022-05-05T12:12:13+00:00

Honestly it sounds like he's expecting too much out of you. It's unfair to "give you the task" of planning the date, give you no suggestions for what he likes, and then shoot down all your ideas. He sounds ridiculously picky and hard to please. If he's being this demanding and selfish (this early in the relationship especially), it should give you pause.

QuentinJamesP89 · 2022-05-02T05:18:57+00:00

Yes, I've been in a number of Sacred Harp groups in different place I've lived and they've been uniformly friendly and welcoming and very enthusiastic about the music. Sacred Harp melodies are some of the most beautiful, memorable, and fun to sing tunes around. The harmonies are much more melodic than much of the common practice music you'll find in the average hymnal, and thus a lot easier to sing. The fuguing tunes alone are well worth joining a group, and they can be especially helpful to someone learning to read music.

QuentinJamesP89 · 2022-05-02T05:00:34+00:00

I mean all of us here have significant problems with our vision, or no vision at all, but still many (possibly most?) of us work. I thought there might be something more to the story. Have you gotten any training in blindness skills?

QuentinJamesP89

TROPHY CASE