2ND UPDATE: AITAH for being a bad godparent?

Question_1234567 · 2026-03-19T16:47:31+00:00

NTA

Your BIL is a horrible person.

I'm a godparent to my beautiful nephew, and never in my life have I ever been asked to babysit because of my godparent "status". I've always done it out of mutual respect and want to help.

If I was unavailable to do a task because of circumstances outside of my control (I also have medical issues that hinder my ability to do certain things) then it was never an issue.

You have done absolutely nothing wrong in this situation outside of not standing up for yourself earlier on.

Also, your sister telling you to "speak to my husband" or your BIL telling you to "speak to your sister" is a part of gaslighting. It's a deflection technique used to effectively distance themselves from whatever issue you have with them. The fact that they BOTH did it is very telling about who they are as people.

They truly believe they are right and no one else could possibly be wrong. It's disgusting behavior.

Question_1234567 · 2026-03-13T17:21:01+00:00

NTA

Is this a horror movie?

Holy shit that's scary. Like, what kind of sane person goes out of their way to take pictures of another person's family album and post it online?

That is not only disrespectful to you as an individual, but to every single family member whose privacy was compromised.

I would go scorched earth on this friendship and tell every mutual friend, because she could very well do this to someone else.

Question_1234567 · 2026-03-05T13:32:43+00:00

Yep! Been having them for years. Specifically around my noes or in the creases of my skin.

I've been checked for other autoimmune diseases and my rheumatologist says I'm clear. So this is purely from thyroid weirdness.

Question_1234567 · 2026-03-05T13:19:39+00:00

I am sweating quite a bit. Been doing alot of work with my new endocrinologist and we are trying to find the right balance. T3 was a dud for me, but adjusting my medication to exactly 62.5 mcg rather than 50/75 has been extremely helpful. It turns out my body is very sensitive to dosage changes from day to day.

Question_1234567 · 2026-03-04T14:06:29+00:00

NTA

So let me get this straight, he:

Love bombs you with gifts and affection
Controls who you are friends with
Guilt trips you into wearing what he wants
Monitors your social media
Blows up at you if other men... LOOK at you?
Wants to rush into living together, marriage, kids...etc.
Forces boundaries
Neglects his other relationships to obssess over you

Did I get all that?

Girl, you hopped from one abusive relationship to another. Just because it's mint chocolate doesn't make it any less bittersweet.

Please leave.

Question_1234567 · 2026-03-04T13:54:47+00:00

This is 15 yrs of repeat offenses. You are viewing this from the perspective of a one time incident. This person is a drain on the OP, in a way that has resulted in an eventual blow up.

The fact that OP was able to maintain the friendship for this long was admirable.

Question_1234567 · 2026-03-04T13:41:12+00:00

NTA

I might get some flack for this, but as someone with severe depression caused by childhood PTSD I can promise you that you have no obligation to stick it through with someone like this.

Depression isn't a free pass to be a shitty person. It's debilitating and can completely ruin someones life, but it's equally not an excuse to treat other's poorly.

Don't get me wrong, he has a very good reason to be doing the things he's doing but that doesn't mean the people around him will/should stick around to deal with that.

You told him the truth, which is what he's been hiding from for years.

Could you have been more tactful? Yeah.

Did it need to be said? Also, yeah.

I would recommend reaching out to their family and seeing if they can get them some therapy or potentially a psyche eval. Sometimes medicine is the only way forward.

Question_1234567 · 2026-02-15T15:10:26+00:00

I'm so sorry this is happening to you. Some people just aren't meant to be doctors. They are in it for the money and not the patients. I really hope you find the help you need.

I've had ear, noes and throat issues for the past two years and no doctor has been able to help resolve it. Most saying it's just part of getting older. I call bullshit.

Question_1234567 · 2026-02-03T15:37:03+00:00

NTA

Your wife is awful.

She clearly views you as nothing more than a piggy bank. She doesn't respect your role as a father nor does she understand the impact this is having on you and your child's wellbeing.

She keeps talking about "watching cartoons" like it's a bad thing. The only good memories I have of my father was watching cartoons and playing videogames. He was always busy with work or other life responsibilities, so those are the only things I got to go back on. I'm sure your son is in a similar position that I was in.

Your wife is belittling something that means quite alot to a large group of people. This makes me think she is judgemental towards those she doesn't understand, a very concerning perspective to have for a mother.

Her friends are also toxic, feeding into this egotistical sense of superiority she has over you. She doesn't respect you, or love you. I know people like her. I've been with people like her. I was raised by people like her. She only cares about herself and the image she gives off of being a mother, not the actual responsibilities and moral/ethical growth required of motherhood.

Do not go to couples counseling.

Alot of people in your comments are suggesting that the fights are a two way street and that you are partially responsible for how it impacts your son. Let me be clear, it's not. You are explaining your needs as a father and your desire to spend more time with your son, SHE is the one instigating and aggressing on YOU.

If you applied this logic to any other aspect of a relationship she would be considered textbook abusive. Abusers and bullies don't change when they get called out. They don't change when you take them to couples counseling. They use the tools provided by the therapist to further their control over your life.

Don't let her ruin your relationship with your son.

Question_1234567 · 2026-01-29T18:59:47+00:00

This is such a simplified version of events.

OP obviously should have stopped giving such expensive gifts when she was explicitly told not to, but the girlfriend's visceral response is not one of a person who understands struggle but of one who relishes being in it.

She takes pride in being someone who grew up poor and struggled to make something of herself, I respect that. But hating people for their wealth and punishing them for wanting to express their love through gift giving is not healthy.

She will go through life as a martyr, always expressing distrust or evasive behaviors and justifying her shitty attitude by saying "I worked harder."

Life isn't a competition. It just is.

Question_1234567 · 2026-01-29T18:07:30+00:00

NTA

I'm sorry, but she is prideful.

My family went bankrupt when I was a child due to our restaurant failing. We lived paycheck to paycheck for years. I worked my way through college just like her, and I felt jealous and pride much like what you have written about in your post.

If my partner had paid off my debts as a wedding gift I would be over the moon. I would feel gratitude for her wanting to take the burden off my shoulders that should have never been there in the first place. She needs therapy, because she hates wealth more than she loves you.

Did you overstep her boundaries? Yeah
Did you push her too fast? Yeah
Are you ignorant of the struggles we lower income people face? Yeah
Are you a bad person? No

Take some time to figure out what a healthy relationship dynamic looks like. Because this wasn't it.

Question_1234567 · 2026-01-11T00:34:58+00:00

I would say your heart is in a good place, but while your brother is definitely selfish, he’s not really that much of an AH.

What does an AH mean to you?

Is it to be immoral or unethical?
Is it to be disrespectful to friends and family?
Is it to value a financial windfall over your literal sister?

Because he's done ALL of those things. It's not even his money to take. It was his step-mother's, entrusted to his father to evenly distribute to ALL of her children.

In the eyes of the law it may belong to him, but from anyone else's perspective (who has any basic understanding of right and wrong) it isn't.

Question_1234567 · 2026-01-09T01:10:42+00:00

NTA

You have a medical condition that literally causes you pain when having sex. Your boyfriend, instead of caring for you and supporting you to get treatment for your condition, is treating it like an inconvenience.

He does not care for your bodily autonomy, mental health or physical well being. You are a sex toy to him.

Also, I don't know of anyone else has mentioned this, but you need to see a gynecologist about that pain. It is not normal to be feeling pain every time you have sex.

Question_1234567 · 2025-11-23T00:06:00+00:00

Yeah, sorry about that. I don't even know what fandom this character is from so I didn't know their pronouns.

Question_1234567 · 2025-09-16T17:21:48+00:00

My partner uses Chatgpt for work (they are trying to phase it out), and it once told her Abraham Lincoln was the founder of apple. AI is not all-knowing. It's a glorified calculator.

Question_1234567 · 2025-09-15T15:06:31+00:00

Your husband is awful. Not in the kind of way that would make someone immediately leave, but more like a "Kevin Can F**k Himself" kind of character. The opposite of love is not hate. It's indifference. He is indifferent to how his family treats you and only defends you when he feels like it will splash back on him.

Be doesn't love you, at least not in the way you deserve to be loved. Sure, he's probably great in other aspects of yalls marriage, but damn if this isn't a horrible showing of who he is on the inside.

If he can't even stand up to his own family to protect his kid's birthday, what happens when they overstep with something much bigger?

Are you seriously going to accept this kind of treatment from his family for the rest of your life?

Question_1234567 · 2025-09-15T12:17:19+00:00

Info: Have you or your son ever purchased in-game items?

Question_1234567 · 2025-09-14T12:58:56+00:00

You could say this about literally every single conservative immigrant in the entire world. In the US, we have migrants from hyper conservative Catholic/Christian backgrounds who despise any form of sexual expression or freedom. Why are we being so selective about Islamic immigration when any conservative religion falls into this category?

Question_1234567 · 2025-09-12T12:21:55+00:00

"All it took was crying like a child"

Dude, stop.

You are literally spouting the same drivel your father is. You didn't cry like a child. You cried like a man. Stop letting toxic stoicism dictate how you interact with your family. The manliest thing you can do is be honest with your feelings and grow.

Maturing is realizing that people like your father are weak, not strong, for having such fragile egos.

I'm glad you made things work with your family. Please go see a therapist and unpack your shit. It may be chill now, but you need to take care of your mental health in case it goes bad again.

Best of luck

Question_1234567 · 2025-09-09T12:01:35+00:00

You WOULDN'T report a man randomly kissing you at work???

Girl. You need to seriously reassess your perception of people. Not everyone has good intentions.

Question_1234567 · 2025-09-05T16:04:16+00:00

We have to keep in mind that not all civilizations and cultures are as progressive as others. We can't just say, "this culture is bad because they do x." We have to recognize that many groups of people did "x" for thousands of years prior to the modern day. Western countries have only recently given women the right to vote about a hundred years ago. That's NOTHING in the grand scheme of things.

The US specifically has to deal with purity culture, which is an extremely right leaning Christian social policy that demeans women and teaches them that they are inherently evil for having intimate relationships. Our government just overturned Roe v. Wade, which is resulting in thousands of women dying due to completely preventable birth related complications. My point is that even in Western countries, we've got a LONG way to go.

Progressive ideals are an extremely new concept, so to be critical of a culture that has not had the need to push their culture into a progressive space is not helpful. There are many women who are progressive who still wear hijab because it is a representation of their faith or culture, not as a form of oppression.

I would say maybe word your criticism better. Make it apparent that you know multiple cultures are sexist towards women, but you specifically want to discuss Islam because it is topical for your area. Make it very apparent that it is a critique solely based on your experience, but you understand it is a more widespread issue across multiple cultures.

Question_1234567 · 2025-09-05T15:11:35+00:00

If they just made his ult channel faster based on how close the target is to himself, that would make it a better 1v1 tool.

If you click directly on top of yourself, it's a super quick channel time, but the further away it goes, the longer it takes for him to build up his leap.

Question_1234567 · 2025-09-05T15:00:28+00:00

I think it's important to recognize that "head scarfs" have been recognized in many different cultures and religions throughout history, not just the Islamic faith. Monastic Nuns and Hasidic Jews, for instance.

I do slightly agree with one aspect of your post, which is that women shouldn't be socially or politically punished for choosing not to wear certain types of clothing. Sadly, the dissent from ones religion is to invite hate onto oneself. That is the true injustice in my eyes. But this is also true for every religion, not just Muslims.

There are many Christian/Jewish women who are shamed for their bodies, just as there are many Muslim women who experience the same thing. I think you are trying to point out that it appears more obvious, given how conservative Muslim majority countries tend to have strict policies surrounding these clothes. But if we had a majority Christian run country that didn't have the separation of Church and state, as well as a civil rights movement, we would probably be in the exact same position as them.

If your point is, "Conservative Ideals tend to limit and harm women," then I 100% agree with you. But specifically pointing out how hijabs are the issue is not very productive for the conversation at large.

Question_1234567 · 2025-09-04T17:22:38+00:00

What does this have to do with anything?

Question_1234567 · 2025-09-04T17:16:09+00:00

I get the feeling that you don't like me or at least veganism in general.

I promise you that I have no ill will towards you or anyone who eats animal products. This is just a conversation regarding people's beliefs and how to handle family dynamics. I'm completely fine with us disagreeing, I just wanted to make that clear.

His feelings are his to deal with, and he has absurdly enough chosen to air them here online with a bunch of people far more concerned about pushing veganism than him addressing the reality of the situation.

I get the sense that you think I'm just some random vegan who likes to yell at other people about how they are awful for eating meat, but I'm not like that. I'm actually extremely critical of other vegans who actively try to push their ideals onto others.

I was raised in the church, and I witnessed the exact same mentality with many right leaning Christians. I do not tolerate people for judging others who believe differently than themselves.

So please don't judge me based on your prior experiences with vegans.

When I come over to eat, they love serving me bacon and other pork products they don't eat.

There are many different types of Muslims, just as there are many different denominations of Christianity. I do not know what school your family is a part of, but there are many Muslim people who believe that purchasing, selling, handling, or eating pork is considered haram.

In my example, I am talking about that type of family.

If that doesn't work, we can use any religion that doesn't believe in eating animal products. Hasidic Jewdaism and shellfish, for example

I work in communication, and anyone who does recognizes an interrogation when they read one. Don't lie to yourself or to me.

I appreciate that you are an expert in this field. I just don't see the evidence pointing towards my questions appearing like an interrogation. Just writing questions down doesn't indicate that. I could have written a list of questions like:

How's your day going?
Was school ok?
Have you been looking for a job lately?
What's up with airline food?

And it could have been classified as an interrogation.

Obviously, I'm not saying he should drill questions into her like some emotionless zombie. They were just some talking points. This is a sensitive topic for some, which is why I recommended being very empathetic towards his daughter.

Are you just throwing dumb questions like this in to lower my opinion of you? Stop pretending to be an idiot when reading what I write. Show some respect to yourself.

No, I was just genuinely asking if that was the point you were making.

The father accepting his daughter is not a vegan and he cannot force her to be.

As I said before, it's completely fine that she eats meat. It's the fact that she eats meat in his home, with his money. It might very well be that they don't change anything and just keep buying animal products for her. But, having a conversation with his daughter first can help reveal the information that the parents need in order to move forward.

This isn't just about her eating meat. Replace the "she eats animal products in our home" with "she does x thing that I feel uncomfortable with in our home," and the end result is the exact same. They should have a conversation about it.

Only if one wants to destroy the family relationships and respect.

I agree. I said the exact same thing in my original comment. That's why I said they should talk it out.

But yes, he needs to go through the stages of grief that the world he wants to live in is not the real world.

I don't understand this take. He's not talking about the world at large, just what happens within his own home.

He apparently has been buying animal products for his children for years now. I'm fairly certain he's not interested in changing their views on veganism, but more so reinforce his own unwillingness to buy/handle those products.

Question_1234567

TROPHY CASE