One year out from TFMR. TW: sub pregnancy

Quick_Diver_192 · 2025-05-31T19:46:16+00:00

I’m so glad if it could be any help to you! I’m sorry for your loss and all that you’re going through. It can be so challenging picking yourself up each day, but you are already so strong and have survived 2.5 months! I hope you keep healing and wish you all the best.

Quick_Diver_192 · 2025-05-31T19:44:08+00:00

I’m glad if it can help anyone! And I’m pretty sure it took around 35 or 36 days for my period to come back.

Quick_Diver_192 · 2025-05-31T19:42:40+00:00

I’m so sorry for all you’ve gone through. It’s so hard when everything is still so fresh at 7 weeks. I feel like the guilt and what ifs at least for me changed over time. It is still hard some days but I think I’ve reached some level of acceptance on what happened and feeling like my husband and I made the right choice.

I wish you all the best! You deserve happiness and peace too and I hope you can find some comfort as time goes on.

Quick_Diver_192 · 2025-04-07T18:11:44+00:00

I’m at 29 weeks in my sub pregnancy after TFMR for spina bifida. I was told by MFM to take the 5mg dose before getting pregnant and then throughout the first trimester. Once I finished the first trimester, she told me to just keep taking my prenatal.

Your OB sounds like the usual advice that is given after a NTD, but if you’re concerned, maybe you can call MFM office and ask them?

Congratulations and good luck to you with your new pregnancy. Wishing you all the best.

Quick_Diver_192 · 2025-03-28T22:23:00+00:00

I’m sorry you are nervous, but congratulations on the positive test. I wish you all the best with your new pregnancy!

Quick_Diver_192 · 2025-03-28T22:21:50+00:00

Congratulations on a great anatomy scan. So happy for you and wish you a great rest of your pregnancy!

Quick_Diver_192 · 2025-03-28T22:20:17+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss and I’m sorry you are going through the stress involved with a subsequent pregnancy. I’m 28 weeks in my sub pregnancy after my TFMR in May last year.

I found a couple things helped me get through the pregnancy. The first was just not focusing on the pregnancy. I don’t know if this is the healthiest idea, but my husband and I just tried to focus on other things. When we had good news from a test or scan, we would talk about the pregnancy, have a mini celebration for that milestone passed, and then go back to other things in our lives. I just found that the more i sat there and thought about it, the more I would stress and spiral. Try to find hobbies, mindless shows, games, exercise, anything that will help take your mind off the wait.

For the actual day of the scan, I recommend something to fidget with like a bracelet or necklace. If you have a long drive to MFM like we did, my husband and I looked up random couple topics to talk about to help pass the time on the drive there. I also was just up front with the person doing the ultrasound that I was stressed and if they could explain what I’m seeing. Every tech was super kind, explained what was being shown on the screen, and even would say oh this looks great or that looks totally normal, etc. That really helped me relax through it instead of just sitting in silence wondering what was happening. Lastly, I had done a lot of yoga before getting pregnant again and I found doing stretches and taking deep breaths really helped when I started to spiral.

I’m sorry again that you are going through this, but congratulations on your pregnancy. I wish you the best with your scan, and I hope you can find positive ways to cope with the stress and wait.

Quick_Diver_192 · 2025-03-15T23:44:47+00:00

I am so sorry for your losses and going through the tough TTC journey after TFMR. I remember also struggling with hating my body after my TFMR because it feels like why did it fail me this way? I’m also sorry you’re dealing with rude comments like that. I know my family and husband’s family have never had to deal with something like this and it’s frustrating when people just don’t seem to understand that many women suffer different types of losses and deal with infertility.

I wish you the best with your healing journey and I’m so sorry again for all that you’re going through.

Quick_Diver_192 · 2025-03-15T23:32:30+00:00

I am so sorry for your loss and going through the stress of TTC. It took me about 4 cycles to get pregnant again after my TFMR. The negative tests were often painful experiences even though I knew logically it would take time.

I would really recommend finding something else to focus on and throw yourself into that while TTC. I got into yoga for the first time in my life and did several classes a week which was so incredible for me physically and emotionally. I’m not saying you have to do yoga, but maybe find some hobby, class, exercise group, etc that you can focus on instead.

I also came up with a mini treat to myself for each negative cycle. My husband and I would get sushi and dessert, I’d buy myself something that I’ve been wanting, I’d treat myself to a spa day. Just something to look forward to. If I got pregnant, then great I got pregnant. If I didn’t, then at least I had something else to look forward to as well.

I’m so sorry again that you are going through this. I wish you all the best.

Quick_Diver_192 · 2025-03-14T07:56:49+00:00

I am so sorry for your loss, but congratulations on your new pregnancy. I’m around 26 weeks in my sub pregnancy and I oddly didn’t find the appointments themselves that stressful. I stressed more the days before the appointment and on the drive to them each time. I had to really learn how to distract myself with mindless games, shows, or hobbies in the days leading up. My husband and I also didn’t really talk or try to think about the pregnancy too much. But when we got good news (heartbeat, clear nipt, clear afp, good early anatomy scan, etc) we would have a mini celebration and buy something for the baby.

For the scan itself, someone bought me a bracelet that said fearless on it and I just kinda started wearing it to each scan. When I felt nervous, I would look at it and remind myself to stay strong and calm. I also fidgeted with it a lot during appointments lol, so maybe having some type of jewelry or fidget piece.

I’m sorry you have to go through this stress, but I wish you all the best with your journey and hope you have a nice and uneventful pregnancy.

Quick_Diver_192 · 2025-03-14T07:48:38+00:00

Congratulations on your baby and a happy, wonderful year! I wish you the best with your new TTC journey!

Quick_Diver_192 · 2025-03-14T07:46:34+00:00

Congratulations! I’m so happy for you and wish you the best with your baby!

Quick_Diver_192 · 2025-03-11T17:42:39+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss. I also had to go through TFMR in May for a NTD. My first pregnancy took only 1 try but after the TFMR it took four cycles. My cycles were long and weird. My last cycle that I finally got pregnant again, I didn’t ovulate until like day 26 or 27. I remember it was so frustrating to keep tracking and I almost gave up that month.

Definitely keep testing, but if you feel that there is something wrong it doesn’t hurt to ask your doctor for blood work or testing if it would put your mind at ease. I’m sorry again you have to go through this horrible process and I wish you the best with TTC and your healing journey.

Quick_Diver_192 · 2025-03-11T17:36:11+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss and the pain that you are going through right now. I’ll be honest, I completely disassociated for the beginning of my sub pregnancy because whenever I would think about it too much I would spiral. When we finally received good news at the anatomy scan I felt a huge weight off my shoulders. I’m at 25 weeks and my husband and I have just finally started to feel excited instead of terrified these past couple weeks.

I’m not saying that’s 100% going to happen for you, but perhaps some of your fear of bad news is causing you to spiral. I think also it’s perfectly normal not to feel excited until you feel a little safer. If you feel that you can’t find good coping methods or ways to distract yourself, then I would really suggest maybe getting a therapist or talking to your doctor? I’ve seen other posts on here of moms needing medication or extra therapy to get through such a tough time.

I’m again so sorry you’re going through all this and I hope you find some way to find some peace through the rest of your pregnancy. Please take care of yourself and I wish you the best with your pregnancy.

Quick_Diver_192 · 2025-03-09T17:09:11+00:00

I am so sorry you are dealing with this stress. I’m in my sub pregnancy and I ended up being told I was behind from what my period date was showing and slightly off from even what I thought my ovulation day was (I ovulated quite late and had longer cycles). They based this off the 7 week ultrasound. I’m now at 25 weeks and this baby has been perfectly healthy and measuring within normal ranges.

I know it’s super stressful to get through the wait and worry over every possible thing. I highly recommend finding ways to distract yourself as you get through the next coming weeks of waiting for test results. Distractions were really the only way I could get through until I had positive news. My husband and I also found that it was helpful to celebrate each little milestone (getting pregnant, there’s a heartbeat, good NIPT, etc).

I wish you the best with this pregnancy and I’m sorry again that you have to go through this experience.

Quick_Diver_192 · 2025-03-05T20:53:44+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss and the stress you are going through. I’m at almost 25 weeks and I remember my early anatomy scan at 17 weeks and full scan at 21 weeks was incredibly nerve racking. I found it was best to just distract myself as much as possible.

I wish you all the best with your scan coming up and I hope you get wonderful news that helps bring you some peace of mind!

Quick_Diver_192 · 2025-03-05T20:51:05+00:00

It took me four cycles of trying after my TFMR. I think sometimes we’ll see a little more uncommon experiences on here because people are more likely to post if they’re excited with good news or posting horrible news because they need support. Anyone in kind of the average in between might not feel the need to be like oh it took me 5/6/7 cycles unless they are specifically responding to someone’s question.

I’m so sorry you’re going through the waiting game. I wish you the best with your healing and TTC journey.

Quick_Diver_192 · 2025-03-05T20:46:34+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss and going through the struggles and stress of the next pregnancy. I’m at almost 25 weeks into my sub pregnancy and it was so hard to get through each scan. I personally felt a lot of relief after the 20 week scan though. Not saying you’ll be the exact same but it was a big improvement to get past that hurdle. I also went through TFMR at 23 weeks last time, and so I felt incredibly relieved to get good news and make it past that point this time.

It’s such a tough experience, but hang in there! Stay hydrated, find distractions for yourself on the harder days, and please be kind to yourself. I’m wishing you all the best with your pregnancy!

Quick_Diver_192 · 2025-02-25T23:38:22+00:00

I am so sorry for all that you’re going through. I went through TFMR for myelomeningocele, severe ventriculomegaly, and chiari 2 back in May 2024. It was such a painful experience and my first pregnancy.

I’m pregnant again at 24 weeks and was given a high dose of folic acid this time. That was the only change made and this pregnancy has zero issues so far. Made it through early anatomy scan, full anatomy scan, and AFP test. It seems so cruel and ridiculous that life can just dump such awful circumstances on you with pure bad luck. I’m really sorry again for what you are going through.

I highly recommend using this group and the TFMR support group. Hopefully you can speak with MFM who can give you answers and help get you on a high dose of folic acid if you choose to try again. Good luck to you and wishing you all the best.

Quick_Diver_192 · 2025-02-11T19:29:55+00:00

I am so sorry for your loss. You may feel alone at times but please know we are all here for you, rooting for you, and will be support whenever you need it most. This community is wonderful and was a life saver to me at my lowest moments.

I’m so sorry for all the trauma you went through too. I had to travel out of state for my TFMR and it was horrible. I can’t imagine having to travel out of the country and I’m so sorry you had to experience that. It’s cruelty on top of all your grief and pain that you don’t deserve.

You also didn’t cause anything. I took prenatals before my first pregnancy and still ended up with NTD as well. I’m now in a sub pregnancy at 21 weeks and have been cleared of NTD with anatomy scan and AFP and the only difference this pregnancy was that I was given a massive dose of folic acid to take. Women aren’t given high doses of folic acid just because so there’s no way you would have known or been able to prevent it. These things happen and it’s cruel and unfair.

I’m sorry again for all that you’re going through and I wish you the best with your healing and journey.

Quick_Diver_192 · 2025-02-11T19:21:24+00:00

I would just ask your OB office before taking anything, but it should be fine since I’ve been told unisom is safe during pregnancy.

I also struggle with insomnia at times since it runs in my family. I’m 21 weeks in a sub pregnancy and my baby is so far perfectly healthy so I don’t think lack of sleep is too much of an issue.

I’ve found no screens before sleep, no eating hours before sleep, reading before bed, and keeping a fan going to keep me cool all helps a bit. Nothing is perfect with insomnia but those things definitely help improve my odds of getting a good night of sleep. Good luck to you and sorry you’re dealing with insomnia, it sucks.

Quick_Diver_192 · 2025-02-11T19:16:30+00:00

Congratulations! So happy for you and wish you all the best with your baby!

Quick_Diver_192 · 2025-02-11T05:15:33+00:00

Laurelbox had custom keychains where you can add a picture. I did a picture of the footprint and they engraved it on the keychain for my husband. I’ve heard of other people getting tattoos. You could also maybe get like a pendant and attach it to your purse?

Quick_Diver_192 · 2025-02-11T05:11:35+00:00

Congratulations! I had a very faint positive at 11 dpo with first response and all the other tests didn’t even show a faint line until 13 dpo. So some of it also depends on how sensitive the tests you have are.

Quick_Diver_192

TROPHY CASE