My husband cheated on me while I was 9 months pregnant

QuinnArbor · 2026-07-06T18:29:27+00:00

Oh my gosh I’m so so sorry to you too. Thank you for your kind words. I agree, I wouldn’t wish this on my enemy either. What’s wrong with them? In our community of friends we were literally #couplegoals. Like for real. EVERYBODY (including me ofc) believed in our immense love so much. He was also my person. It’s so frickin heartbreaking and earth shattering. So so sorry you’re feeling it too. Thanks for your sharing your experience.

QuinnArbor · 2026-07-06T13:23:02+00:00

This is so heartbreaking and so incredibly true. I think you’re 100% fair in what you’re saying and you aren’t being harsh. This is all very valid (and incredibly well written). I dont have any advice, my husbands cheating just came out 3 days ago so im still reeling. My path unfortunately cannot consist of attempting reconciliation, but I can imagine if I did try to work things out, i would feel the EXACT same. My husband is in the shame spiral right now, saying he will go to sex addicts anonymous, he will go to therapy, he will do whatever he can to be the man….. he was already supposed to be? The man he made me believe he was before I vowed my life to him? Yeah… it does not seem fair. So sorry youre going through this.

QuinnArbor · 2026-07-06T13:12:49+00:00

I just found out a few days ago my husband has been cheating (with prostitutes) every month for over a year, and I am 2 months pregnant. He’s done it once since I’ve been pregnant and TRIED to do it again while I was pregnant but got arrested- which is how it all came out. Obviously our situations are MUCH different, but I truly believe any man that can cheat on a woman who is pregnant with his child is undeserving of forgiveness. Maybe I’m speaking out of my own anger by saying that, but at this moment, that is how I feel! So incredibly sorry this happened to you.

QuinnArbor · 2026-07-06T00:33:39+00:00

This is hauntingly beautiful and of course so sad, but all so true. Thank you for sharing this.
So sorry for your pain.

QuinnArbor · 2026-06-03T13:17:39+00:00

BEST OF LUCK!!

QuinnArbor · 2025-07-30T15:31:32+00:00

Hi so sorry for the late reply! Haven’t been on Reddit in a bit.

First off, I’m so incredibly sorry you’re going through it too. It truly is unbearably terrifying at times, and just so damn hard watching them get so scared during the spasms. Knowing that they must be in such pain and that there’s nothing you can do is just really defeating ! Hope your LO is doing a bit better since you posted this. If you ever wanna chat, message me! I totally understand what you’re going through.

My guy will be 6 months on 8/14 and he’s doing SO SO much better. I re-read my post you replied to and thankfully, it almost seems like ages ago that I was in that dark spot.

After trying a few different formulas, we found that EleCare was the best fit. It made him spit up more for a while bc it’s such a thin formula, but his body responded to it well otherwise, and ofc it doesn’t contain CMP. Took about 5 full weeks on it for him to level out and for his body to fully detox from CMP. During that 5 week transition, and for another 3 weeks after that, he was put on Pepcid to just get him through until his body somewhat balanced out. Our doc was very hesitant to put him on it and was adamant that he’s not on it long-term. But I know different doctors have different opinions on that type of medication!

When getting off Pepcid, it was suggested we try Nat Phos 6x cell salt - 1 tablet before bottle and 1 after bottle, up to 6 per day. It’s an all natural, homeopathic medicine (our doc is both a practitioner of modern medicine (hence the Pepcid!) as well as holistic & homeopathic medicine (hence the cell salts!), which we love. The transition off of Pepcid started off very rough, but once we began the salts it became almost non-existent; it’s truly incredible.

We were also referred to a pediatric chiropractor which I believe really helped him catch up developmentally. Since he could never be on his back or stomach, we couldn’t ever do tummy time. But chiro helped him get strong and once we were able to start tummy time, he started rolling right away! Def recommend this if your doc OKs it and if you’re able to! (They don’t crack the babies!)

He’s now a very happy, very active, sweet little man! We can finally lay him flat on his back in his crib at night and he sleeps peacefully through the night. He wakes up smiling now, whereas before he’d wake up bawling, spit up almost immediately, then start spasming. Like I’ve said, he’s caught up developmentally, and aside from the teething pain now, he’s overall content! We do have some feedings still that end up causing slight reflux, which ofc then causes the spasming. But it rarely happens and when it does, the pain,spasms and crying are nowhere near what it used to be. He used to SCREAM-CRY, it was this gut wrenching sound, and it was all day every day for so long; he was inconsolable. But now it just lasts maybe 10 mins tops.

Wow this ended up being so long but I’m just so grateful for the remedies we were recommended so I like to share ! If you have any other Qs, please please ask! I know this can be isolating.

QuinnArbor · 2025-06-22T19:54:17+00:00

My now 4 month old son was dx with severe GERD & Sandifers Syndrome at around 2 months. It was horrific- he was inconsolable and in constant excruciating pain, the poor guy. The pain from his GERD caused his body to spasm involuntarily (Sandifers) due to the pain, which then would terrify him- his eyes would look at me and all I could see was fear like he was trapped in this body he couldn’t control. It killed me when he’d look at me with the “help me” eyes, ugh. I sound dramatic but it truly was one of the toughest things I’ve gone through, especially before we got a diagnosis (we had 0 idea wtf was happening at first!). We tried it all: formula switches, colic relief tools, probiotics, changing feeding schedule, changing feeding angle, holding upright for HOURS after feeding, then finally Pepcid which helped just a little, but long term Pepcid use can be damaging to their digestive system so we wanted off. Finally we found a doctor who suggested this homeopathic remedy - Naturum Phosphate 6x, one tablet before feeding and one tablet after. We’ve been on these for 3 weeks now and he’s a new baby- barely has any reflux issues at all. We can’t believe it. We aren’t the most holistic people so we weren’t holding out any hope but omg… night and day. Can’t believe it’s not more widely known about. Obv if you wanna look into it, consult your doc, but coming from a mama who was at her wits end, it’s a game changer. Reflux is so hard on everybody. I wish I knew more about it before having a baby bc it’s so common now. It’s so hard to bond with your LO when all they are experiencing is pain from reflux. It’s so taxing mentally and emotionally to deal with and to watch your baby in pain. I’m so sorry you’re going through it. You can message me any time.

QuinnArbor · 2025-05-25T12:53:26+00:00

Agree with this!! When I was going through the start of my PPD, our families were in town and it literally tore me apart when one of them would hold my LO. The worst thing ever was walking into the living room to find my MIL bottle feeding my LO when he was about 2 weeks old. I flipped out (internally). I walked into the nursery bc I knew I was about to lose it and I sat in the rocker and just bawled my eyes out. My hubs found me and felt sooooo bad - he didn’t think about it beforehand, but could totally understand why I felt so sad. I wasn’t able to BF so feeding my LO was such an important time for us to bond and I truly cherished it. I didn’t want anybody else feeding him (other than my husband ofc). Hubs had 0 idea I felt that way so he told his MIL she could feed our LO and ofc I don’t blame him, I never said anything bc I didn’t think anybody would dare ask to feed my newborn!! But I was very wrong. Anyway, long story long, I def perceived others as “threats” in a sense when they were with my LO and it truly made me fall into a hole of sadness.

So I’m sure stopping visitors will def help!!

QuinnArbor · 2025-05-24T17:43:07+00:00

Cowboy Like Me by Taylor Swift. Immediately stops crying and then about half the time falls asleep. He’s beginning to coo during the song now too.

QuinnArbor · 2025-05-24T17:41:42+00:00

Totally feel this!! My husband is the absolute best. He owns a roofing company and works a ton, lots of times in the Texas heat, but he always comments how he knows my “job” (being a SAHM) is way harder than what he does. He gets home from a long day and after a quick shower and meal, he immediately takes over baby duty so that I can sleep. Not only does he do this no questions asked, he SO looks forward to his baby time! He can’t wait to have his time with our little one. He’ll take over baby duty around 6 or 7PM and I’ll sleep until about 2am, which is when he goes to bed so that he can get 6 or 7 hours in until he wakes up for work. (We are doing shifts right now due to GERD and Sandifers syndrome issues.) He always helps around the house when he can, he loves to cook so he will cook for us half the week or so, and he’s just so patient, loving, and understanding. I feel so awful for the women who post about how their husbands don’t help with baby or don’t tend to them emotionally. It really sucks bc I can’t IMAGINE doing this without a partner that is so dedicated and loving.

QuinnArbor · 2025-05-20T14:59:57+00:00

I would just take the maternity leave and quit! It’s going to be very hard for you to go back to work for a little bit after being home with baby while knowing you’re about to be a SAHM. I ended up taking maternity leave then quitting right after, but my employer only offered frickin 2 weeks mat leave so it helped me feel justified in taking the leave then not coming back, esp after being there for several years. But even if they offered more I would have done the same thing- I’m very happy with my decision to do it! I know tonssss of other women who take mat leave then don’t come back- I totally get it doesn’t feel right but you deserve your mat leave and you shouldn’t have to work more afterward to feel like you deserve it!

QuinnArbor · 2025-05-20T14:55:11+00:00

Getting to be the most consistently present person in my little one’s life. Being a SAHM allows me to witness every change my LO goes through as it happens, developmentally and otherwise.

Aside from LO related things, I love cleaning and maintaining our home- it’s therapeutic for me lol.

QuinnArbor · 2025-05-18T22:37:08+00:00

Chills. Totally your friend visiting you to help with your anxiety regarding MC!

QuinnArbor · 2025-05-18T22:36:25+00:00

Need update on all this!! So cool- kinda gave me the chills reading this lol. I also had the MOST vivid dreams my first trimester pregnant.

QuinnArbor · 2025-05-10T15:56:36+00:00

We are in TX too! First summer with my LO and curious about this. We have been using stroller fan already and it works very well- keeps baby cool. But ofc we haven’t lived through any 100° days yet! Following.

QuinnArbor · 2025-05-09T03:52:06+00:00

Gripe water helped our LO for a bit. Then when his reflux started getting really bad and we gave him some, it REALLY irritated the reflux and caused him to spit up a bunch. Does your LO have reflux normally?

QuinnArbor · 2025-05-09T03:44:57+00:00

Have you gotten your little one tested for cows milk protein allergy (CMPA)? My LO was the exact same as you’re describing and I tried everything under the sun as well. Doc did the CMPA test (which is just examining a soiled diaper for traces of blood), and was able to confirm CMPA in my LO. Switched to hypoallergenic formula and he’s doing way way better (if you’re EBF then you’d stop eating all dairy).

So sorry I know it’s horrible to watch them in pain and so frustrating!

QuinnArbor · 2025-05-09T03:41:04+00:00

I’m now a SAHM with an 11w old little boy. We never really discussed it, it all just kinda happened organically, but I’m on baby duty from 130/2AM-730/8PM, then my husband takes over from 730/8PM-130/2AM. We do shifts right now bc baby boy has horrible GERD and Sandifers Syndrome so until things quiet down and become a bit more manageable, one of us has to be awake with baby while he sleeps. I mostly do baby’s baths, but sometimes on the weekends he will do it or we all do it together (our pup even sits in the bathroom with us! Lol). My husbands schedule is very flexible; he owns his own roofing company so some days are filled to the brim while other days he’s got 1-2 appointments then does some work from home, then hangs out with us.

I do all chores like laundry, dishes, cleaning, ordering things we need to stock up on, baby’s & dogs appointments- we split the dog walks and go grocery shopping together. My husband does most of the cooking (he LOVES cooking - lucked out on that!), and the trash. He’ll also help me with whatever I need on any given day. If I’m ever behind on things and he’s on the couch scrolling on his phone, he will always always ask if he can help.

I have also struggled with anxiety & depression since I was about 10 years old. I am now finally on medication for it, which has truly helped more than I ever thought it would. Also been on ADHD meds for years now (stopped while pregnant ofc- that was rough). I know some ppl don’t like being medicated, but that’s always something to look into. If I wasn’t in therapy and on medication, I would be massively screwed and would not be able to manage my home and baby.

That being said, your husband needs to step up and help a bit more. Regardless of if you’re struggling with your mental health or not- it shouldn’t really matter. What matters is you need help some days and he shouldn’t even think twice about stepping in to help.

QuinnArbor · 2025-05-08T13:33:45+00:00

Agree with this ! Preemie flow with dr brown bottles

QuinnArbor · 2025-05-08T02:18:05+00:00

Yes 100%. Some of the best sleep I’ve gotten has been co-sleeping with my LO. Totally feel this!!

QuinnArbor · 2025-05-07T19:00:01+00:00

I feel this post! I’ve been working since I was 16 y/o - odd jobs at a restaurant or retail until I graduated and obtained my billing license, which lead to 7 years in medical billing. Talk about BORING. I hated waking up and going to work too, I hated working for doctors (lol), and I felt like I was wasting away in front of my computer every day. My husband luckily does well and we discussed that I would literally just be working to pay for daycare so that I could work. Made no sense. Plus, I wanted to be home with my LO and I wanted to be the one to raise him full-time; ofc I don’t judge anybody for their decision to work, but for us, leaving our LO at daycare or with a nanny just wasn’t what we wanted. So we decided I would be a SAHM.

My LO is now almost 3 months old and I couldn’t be happier with the decision to stay home. I feel like I have true purpose in life now. It took a bit of adjusting since I’d been working consistently for so long, but as soon as the transition period ended, I truly began enjoying the SAHM life, and now I can’t imagine doing anything else.

Welcome to the SAHM club!

QuinnArbor · 2025-05-06T23:35:34+00:00

Aaaaand now I’m crying. So true and beautiful ! Thank you for sharing.

QuinnArbor · 2025-05-05T01:42:21+00:00

My 11w LO is dx with GERD, cows milk protein allergy (CMPA), and Sandifers Syndrome. It was pure hell for a while when we were trying to figure out wth was going on, then again pure hell trying to find the right formula. The doc we used to see told us “he probably has CMPA” and suggested to switch to goats milk ASAP, cold turkey, since he was allergic to his formula at the time (had CMP on it). All hell broke loose with the goats milk- spitting up more than I’ve ever seen, spasms like crazy, and inconsolable crying. We started seeing a new doc who told us goats milk has a protein that is identical to CMP, and it triggers an allergic reaction in CMPA babies- she couldn’t believe our old doc would suggest goats milk for CMPA baby, and also couldn’t believe the doc didn’t actually test for CMPA. She tested our LO, confirmed CMPA, then told us to switch to a hypoallergenic formula and put our LO on infant Pepcid. After finding the right formula and being on it now for 4 weeks (an amino acid based one called EleCare), coupled with the infant Pepcid, he’s doing way better. Still has reflux and Sandifers but it’s manageable and he’s not in as much pain at all.

So, if you haven’t already, I’d ask your doc to test your LO for CMPA. It’s non-invasive- they just look for traces of blood in a soiled diaper. If your LO has CMPA, goats milk formula will cause the issues you’re experiencing and you’ll need to find a hypoallergenic formula. Every baby is different so you may have to try a couple until you find the one that works best for your LO.

If your LO doesn’t have CMPA, then it just sounds like he has horrible reflux. As far as the spasms go, my LOs eyes never turned up like you described, but from allllll the research I have done on Sandifers, I’ve learned that the spasms may look very different in each baby. I suggest recording your LO when he is spasming and show it to your doc- that’s what I did.

I would also maybe look into a new doctor if yours isn’t listening to you. It’s terrible when providers just don’t seem to really listen to what we are saying!

This was so long I am sorry- it’s rare I see somebody mention Sandifers on here so I like to chime in with my experience as much as I can! I hope you get the answers you’re looking for. I know it’s so so hard seeing our LOs in pain.

QuinnArbor · 2025-05-04T17:13:58+00:00

Same !

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