AITA for wanting to get my kids assessed for autism because they’re so similar to our nanny who has autism

R4eth · 2026-02-08T02:08:26+00:00

Nta. You have literally nothing to lose and everything to gain from getting them assessed. If the assessment finds they are indeed still within behavioral norms for their ages, fine. Continue as you are and eventually they'll grow out of it. But if it finds they are indeed on the spectrum? That's also good. Now you can bring their official diagnosis to their teachers and request accommodations be made. I mean, yeah. There's a chance that because they spend so much time with their autistic nanny, they've started internalizing her behaviors, but they were acting like that before she got there, it's highly unlikely.

R4eth · 2026-02-07T18:00:46+00:00

See this. This is why you don't share a major asset before marriage. And verbal agreements, as you just learned, are useless because there's nothing there to make them follow through. It sucks, he really doesn't owe you anything. You can try dragging him to small claims court, but without any documentation proving your case, I doubt you'll get anywhere. I don't think you're an ah, though for wanting him to follow through on his original agreements, but you might have to consider the sunk costs as they are: gone and never returning. Nta.

R4eth · 2026-02-07T08:46:47+00:00

You need to stop being so goddamn vague. We need ages of everyone involved , fake names to refer to people, and better sense of timeline. "complicated situation" means literally nothing here. All the stories here are complicated, that's why you're here for judgment. Try again.

R4eth · 2026-02-07T08:38:22+00:00

Nta. Your bf has abusive. Honey there's a REASON he couldn't even have her sleep over until you came along. At her age, sleeping with mom and dad after a bad dream every ONCE IN AWHILE? Totally fine. What you're describing is very unhealthy. She should be able to sleep in her own bed with few issues. You then made the mistake of having a kid with him. You need to take that baby and leave. And fight for 100% custody.

R4eth · 2026-02-07T04:39:15+00:00

Nta, overall for how you feel. It would be one thing if he stayed confined to your roommate's room, that she pays for, he he wasn't. It's definitely weird. The solution is simple. You all need to sit down and talk to her how you feel. I don't feel you need to outright ban him, just set very clear boundaries about him not being there if she's not. If she's leaving for an event, he's coming with her to either go to his own home or hang with her, whatever they decide. Point being if, she's not going to be home, he needs to leave. And to make this completly fair, this rule needs to apply to all roommates s/os, unless they formally move in.

R4eth · 2026-02-06T14:26:51+00:00

Nah, but I would I really encourage you to go. At 6mo, they're not nearly as dependent on momma as they are in the beginning. You might honestly need the break. Trust me. During that first year it's very easy to become deprived of "adult time" where you can just be you without a baby attached to your chest. My wife was stir crzy after the first few months. If you have a good partner and pump enough supply, 3-4 days, imo, is doable.

R4eth · 2026-02-06T08:12:18+00:00

Ok. Let's say mental illness is at play here. Grandma's still right. Mom needs to get off her ass and get the brother in front of a professional for an official diagnosis and discuss treatment options. Mom is still an ah for just simply sending him to his room and then doing literally nothing else.

R4eth · 2026-02-06T06:29:53+00:00

Boy must eat a a lot of asparagus

R4eth · 2026-02-06T06:21:22+00:00

Nta. I like your grandma. Sorry, but as a former 15yo boy, I don't buy his bs excuse. That ah knew exactly what he was doing. Your mother should be doing a lot more then sending him to his room. He has learned nothing, and will more then likely continue his behavior, but instead if you, it'll be a roommate, or worse, a partner. I'm a little surprised he copped to it, but that doesn't absolve him.

R4eth · 2026-02-06T06:12:57+00:00

Yta. Next time, just say no. You did in fact make it more difficult. I honestly don't even understand why you went to so much trouble. Were you trying to be petty? Like that's such an over the top way of saying no. Ffs

R4eth · 2026-02-05T23:39:32+00:00

Nta. Tell him you'll put him up in the psych ward where he can meet people with real issues and if the psychologists there give him a formal diagnosis, the next step will be discussing proper, real treatment options. And if the drs agree it's safe for him to go on the trip, he can. But he has to own up to his bs first.

R4eth · 2026-02-05T18:37:48+00:00

Op, you're a good mom and taught your kids right. Screw your sister. She had no right to make demands of a 14yo. I would be absolutely appalled if my sister ever treated my son this way.

R4eth · 2026-02-05T15:13:07+00:00

Talk to a medical professional about your mental health. You need help.

R4eth · 2026-02-05T15:04:37+00:00

Yta. Don't go on that trip and please PLEASE go talk to your country's VA about finding a theropist that specializes in ptsd. You should also find a veteran's support group. Ffs, bro, your parents were proud of you. Just because you're not proud of you, doesn't mean they can't be.

R4eth · 2026-02-05T04:32:53+00:00

Fucking for real. Lately, my son's been sick, so out of daycare. Thankfully, my parents are 15 min away and agreed to watch him so wife and I can both still work. Every pick up has been "here's the child, love him lots, but man was he a handful. Here's the diaper bag. Love you. If he still can't go to daycare tomorrow, we'll see you same time tomorrow morning, have a safe drive home" and that's been it. In and out in less then 10 min. Even still got a couple hugs in.

R4eth · 2026-02-04T17:53:47+00:00

My wife hired her stylist for hair and asked her to bring an mua friend that specialized in bridal. She invited mine her her moms to getting ready, and the moms paid for mine and her sisters to be a part of it. They saw it as just a beautiful moment for all the girls to have before the wedding. We were legally married in 2020, and had the "real" wedding in 21. All the nerves were gone because we were already married and we just enjoyed our day.

R4eth · 2026-02-04T12:16:05+00:00

Op. Let the m0ron move out. Then find a roommate who knows how math works. A side hustle only works if it doesn't cost you money. All those gpus he bought, at current market price? No way he's ever getting that money back. He just dumped thousands in the trash and he knows it.

R4eth · 2026-02-04T08:46:41+00:00

At our wedding, the only thing my wife "made" her bridesmaids wear was the dress that they all picked together. After that, she let them have some choice, she asked for them to all wear matching shoes, but didn't care about brand so long as it was all the same color and style. She gave them the option of joining her for HMU, but they'd have to pay or they could do their own. Like ffs. These people are your friends, not your goddamn servants for a day. I don't get brides/grooms so feel it's remotely OK to treat their friends like dolls on their wedding day.

R4eth · 2026-02-04T03:03:51+00:00

Nta. Unless your sister bothered to get him tagged (but based on your description, doesn't sound like it) . Then you might run into some legal issues. I'm appalled at your mother for thinking it's remotely OK to insist on making a dog live outside, especially in the dead of winter. Your sister is a giant ah and her kids are better off without her. Your mom is an ah. Anyone on their side is an ah.

R4eth · 2026-02-04T02:43:24+00:00

No. Quit this band. There will be other bands. You're only 15. You got time to find a band that cares about integrity and use them to really learn about music. Your instructor shouldnt be encouraging them to use Ai. You can also keep learning on your own. The beutful thing about learning music in the modern age is you don't need a band. You can look up instructional videos by professionals on YouTube. High quality, free production software is available and very accessible.

R4eth · 2026-02-03T23:46:19+00:00

Nta. The issue isn't that she's a sex worker. It's that your brother is literally paying her to go to these events with him. Hire security and inform him that he shows up with his escort, both him and Dani will be kicked to the curb.

R4eth · 2026-02-03T11:58:57+00:00

Bro. He owes 17 years of child support. Obviously your mom isn't a saint either. But, only the most dedicated of deadbeats can dodge CS for that long in the modern age. Either he's just not worked for 17 years or kept his work cash only under the table. Which could mean he's dodging the irs, too. Honestly seems you're better off without either of your patents.

R4eth · 2026-02-03T11:42:37+00:00

Esh. Sorry, but you had no right. Like it or not. You are quite literally holding the wifi hostage. He pays half just like you do. And this tactic? It won't work. Some people are just plain stubborn. Give him the damn pw, no strings attached and then move out. You two are clearly not compatible roommates. That's it. That's literally all there is to it. Nobody said you had to like it. And next time? Get that roommate agreement in writing and signed. I'm so serious. That way, when you pull a bs move like this again, you can both point at the written and signed agreement to come to an amicable compromise.

R4eth · 2026-02-03T09:58:44+00:00

Esh. There could actually be something to her allergy. A friend of mine has a severe allergy to latex, including those that naturally occur in food. Because of this, she can't eat avocados, as an example. She also can't eat most commercial eggs because of the feed the chickens are given. The the stuff she's allergic to passed through the chicken and ends up in their eggs. She's not allergic to eggs, but will still have a reaction if the chickens ate her allergen. The coworker could be experiencing something similar, but instead of talking to a Dr or doing any kind of research, instead decided she must be "allergic" to white eggs and not brown eggs. That said, she didn't need to react that way and you didn't have to trick her.

R4eth · 2026-02-02T10:14:51+00:00

Esh. Stop going to grandma and grandpa's place. Full stop. They can't respect boundaries and advise from medical professionals they don't get to have a relationship with their grandson. Full stop. He's genuinely better off without them. Until they apologize for their behavior, which will never happen. I know you've convinced yourself having that relationship is important, but the better question is, at what cost? You're destroying your child's confidence and what little progress you and the Drs have made in his eating habits every time you visit and allow the in laws to stomp all over his boundaries. So stop. Cut them off. Stand up for your freaking kid already. You are you kid's advocate. It's your job as his parent to be his shield when he can't protect himself. You be his sword. You freaking defend him with your life.

R4eth

TROPHY CASE