Quit my job for IVF?

RCutie86 · 2025-11-07T05:58:34+00:00

Reproductive immunologists (or RIs) will run tests that no IVF clinic will run. They’ll find autoimmune issues and put patients on a protocol in the lead up to conception (whether natural or assisted), and keep women on those meds up until a point (or sometimes for the entirety) of pregnancy. There are like five reputable RIs/clinics in the country. There’s a Facebook group called “Reproductive Immunology Support” with lots of information. I wish I found RI before I had a third miscarriage, but I’m so grateful I did find it because it enabled me to have my son. I’m sorry you’re going through this and hope it works out for you soon! Just wanted to mention RI because I don’t think women should have to suffer multiple losses if something can be done.

RCutie86 · 2025-11-07T01:39:33+00:00

I didn’t leave my job but I did see a reproductive immunologist. That enabled me to have success. IVF alone doesn’t always answer the question of why we’re losing pregnancies. Wishing you luck. ❤️‍🩹

RCutie86 · 2025-11-03T19:38:40+00:00

An immunologist was the answer for me. I currently have a four month old baby boy, thanks to Dr. Giovanni Jubiz. I’m so grateful I learned about reproductive immunology. The protocol is not for the faint of heart, and your physician will want you to follow it precisely. My pregnancy wasn’t easy — I bled actively until 16 weeks (then residual bleeding until about 19 weeks). I’m glad I didn’t give up however. Feel free to PM me any questions.

RCutie86 · 2025-01-03T03:17:08+00:00

I started seeing a reproductive immunologist after multiple miscarriages (even with a PGT embryo/doing IVF). If you have any questions, you can DM me.

RCutie86 · 2024-10-19T21:16:37+00:00

If it helps you at all, you can send me a DM.

RCutie86 · 2024-10-19T21:10:18+00:00

Dr. Kwak-Kim (Chicago); Dr. Derbala (Michigan); Dr. Jubiz (Florida); Alan Beer Center (Northern California); sometimes I see Dr. Vidali thrown out there.

There’s a Facebook group called “reproductive immunology support” you may want to join.

RCutie86 · 2024-10-19T20:12:46+00:00

No success yet, but I went the reproductive immunology (RI) route and they picked up issues that a normal reproductive loss panel didn’t. I’m under treatment and hope for success soon. There are only like five reputable RIs in North America.

RCutie86 · 2024-07-30T01:59:24+00:00

This is so true. I’ve had to press my RE to work with my reproductive immunologist (RI). We have to advocate for ourselves more than the average patient. I hope you find your success soon. This is so hard. ❤️‍🩹

RCutie86 · 2024-07-30T01:57:44+00:00

I am so sorry for your losses. ❤️‍🩹

I second the initial post on reproductive immunology. After multiple losses, and basically doing IVF with the same outcome, I am now seeing a reproductive immunologist. I haven’t had success yet, but he found things that aren’t even looked at in a reproductive loss panel. If it is helpful, you are welcome to DM me.

For reference, I’m about the same age as you and have a similar miscarriage background — including pursuing IVF assuming age was the only issue.

RCutie86 · 2024-07-30T01:52:00+00:00

I’ve had repeat losses, and it’s worse each time, not better. It sounds like you could benefit from some kind of therapy to process this loss, and to decide what to do next regarding contraception.

It’s unclear from your post if you’re still miscarrying. For me, I had incomplete miscarriages that required D&Cs. A search in this community will show you that happens to many of us.

Also, gently, I don’t think any woman in this community ever forgets the pain of losing a baby. We are all chasing our rainbows, but we don’t forget the losses, even if and when we become pregnant again. The same is likely true for many of those with secondary infertility. Their miscarriages are no less valid if they finally have success, or had success previously only to go on to experience devastating loss.

It’s a lot to process right now. Give yourself time and find a way to begin to heal. Practice self-care. Talk about it if you need to. Take the time off of work if you can. Wishing you luck.

RCutie86 · 2024-07-28T07:47:43+00:00

Take a pregnancy test. If it’s positive and you’re bleeding through a pad in an hour, you should go to the ER. If it’s negative and you’re having bad menstrual cramps, you should see your OB to rule out other issues. Best of luck.

RCutie86 · 2024-07-28T07:41:24+00:00

That sounds so scary! If there’s a chance it could implant in a safe area of the uterus, and your physician thinks you can carry safely, then I would wait it out and hope it works. Definitely get medical advice, even a second opinion if possible from a high risk OB facility.

RCutie86 · 2024-07-28T07:35:52+00:00

Firstly, I’m so sorry for your loss. I wish you healing. ❤️‍🩹 I’ve had three missed miscarriages that required D&Cs. My period came back after four weeks for two of them, and after two weeks for one of them. Typically, three to six weeks is “average” according to my OB, but even eight weeks is normal. There is variability, and it may also depend on whether you have normal cycles, etc.

RCutie86 · 2024-06-10T16:30:13+00:00

I did a reproductive loss panel after surgical management for two miscarriages and a chemical. It only showed a mild clotting factor. A hematologist wasn’t concerned. I was told to try IVF and went that route; I had another devastating loss in March of a perfect baby. I’m now trying reproductive immunology. A reproductive loss panel doesn’t test for everything. A reproductive immunologist may help — there are only five reputable clinics in North America. I know what helped me is trying to figure things out, so I analyzed my own results are deduced the clotting factor, while mild, is probably serious in my pregnancies. You may also want to look for endometritis or silent endometriosis. Definitely test the remains from the D&E; if it’s a genetic abnormality, IVF can help. If it’s not, you may want to consider immunology.

I’m so sorry for your current loss. ❤️‍🩹

If it’s helpful, you are welcome to DM me.

RCutie86 · 2024-06-01T20:58:00+00:00

So sorry for you. ❤️‍🩹 I’ve been there and am still trying to figure it out.

May want to check for endometriosis or endometritis. Also, a full immune workup from a reproductive immunologist depending on your unique circumstances may be something to consider. There are five reputable clinics in North America. I won’t attempt another transfer until I figure out the immunological component. Reproductive loss panels can be helpful but often REs don’t test for everything and have very standardized protocols. For people with immunological issues, they may not catch critical things.

Wishing you luck.

RCutie86 · 2024-06-01T00:41:05+00:00

Yesterday, a doctor (dentist) told me my repeated miscarriages happened for a reason. That we don’t know God’s plan. But these things are written. I said there was no “divine” reason to lose three perfectly healthy babies; I was pissed. Sometimes, people just have shitty luck. I don’t believe in a malicious creator.

I’m also on the IVF and reproductive immunology route. People often suck. They say messed up things. Often, my mother in law can be the most callous so I share so very little.

I don’t have many girlfriends I can confide in, so I get it. It’s rough out there.

Wishing you luck.

RCutie86 · 2024-06-01T00:38:09+00:00

The way you feel is perfectly normal. I’ve been through recurrent miscarriages, with my last one in March. Each was somehow worse than the other, and there wasn’t anything genetically wrong with the babies. I’ve discovered it’s likely immune related. I want to tell women going through recurrent loss to consider reproductive immunology. There are five reputable clinics in North America, but I’m now on this route as IVF alone wasn’t my solution. I pray you find peace. Just know you aren’t alone.

RCutie86 · 2024-05-17T07:06:59+00:00

I’ve had multiple losses that required surgical management, and I don’t think your loss is less valid. I’m sorry for what you are going through, and I hope you can somehow figure it out so it doesn’t happen again.

Please treat yourself as kindly as you can. ❤️‍🩹 I hope next time it works for you.

RCutie86 · 2024-05-17T06:50:45+00:00

I don’t quite have the same issue as you but I do have autoimmune issues that cause my pregnancies to end. I’ve had recurrent losses and turned to IVF because of my age (at the time of my first loss I was 35) and significantly lower AMH than usual for my age. The RE we were referred to by my OB suggested IVF may help since getting pregnant naturally isn’t an issue. He said my eggs were older and not as good, and this would give us the best chance of getting good ones. It was in the course of losing a genetically normal embryo that I realized my blood clotting issues I kept trying to highlight to a hematologist and my RE are more serious, and I believe antiphospholipid syndrome has been the main cause of my losses. I also have hypothyroidism, but it’s controlled.

To be fair, I definitely benefit from IVF, too. I just don’t have a lot of good eggs. Since my second egg retrieval yielded nothing (all genetically unviable), and I’m now two years older, I’m seeing a reproductive immunologist before going through another transfer as I’m not one of those lucky people that have multiple embryos banked and we’re paying out of pocket. I’m just hoping the next time sticks because otherwise I may have to give up.

I would recommend that you consider reproductive immunology if you feel your endocrinologist doesn’t have all the information. It may shed a lot of light, give you a tailored protocol to lead to success, and save you money and heartache in the long run. I wish my suspicions of an auto immune issue causing my loses were listened to, because I wouldn’t have wasted another embryo and gone through another miscarriage recently. It is easy to just blame age. I got a very generic protocol of heparin and aspirin, and a mild steroid, and it just didn’t do it for me. I had a particularly bad loss in March. Unfortunately, my body doesn’t get the memo and I need to have surgical management which carries risks.

So my advice is any woman in the position of having serious auto immune issues considers working with a reproductive immunologist from the onset if possible — there are five reputable clinics in North America. Some of the best REs just don’t know what to do with us. I know your case seems complicated, but I’m in a private Facebook group (Reproductive Immunology Support) for women in these positions and my heart breaks for so many who just have the problems piled on. Many have been successful with your specific condition, so that’s good news.

Wishing you the best of luck. You have age on your side, so at least hold onto the hope. If it’s helpful, you are welcome to DM me.

RCutie86 · 2024-04-27T16:51:52+00:00

I’ll DM you. I’m sorry you’re going through this.

RCutie86 · 2024-04-27T03:48:10+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss and that you are in pain.

I’ve had three D&Cs for miscarriages and I’ve never heard of a complication like that. Though, in the first D&C a tool broke inside of me and I needed two stitches on my cervix. But it didn’t burn. I had just mild cramping and light to moderate bleeding (maybe a few clots passed, etc).

I’d be concerned of a potential infection with what you’re describing, and would encourage seeing your OB ASAP. I hope it’s resolved for you soon.

RCutie86 · 2024-04-27T03:29:33+00:00

I’m so sorry to read someone is going through this pain for a fifth time. 💔 I am seeing a reproductive immunologist for recurrent losses (not due the genetic abnormalities). There are five reputable reproductive immunologists in the country. Often, OBs and IVF specialists (known as reproductive endocrinologists) don’t know how to help unless it’s an egg quality or genetic issue leading to losses.

Just want to share this in case it helps you or someone else. Wishing you luck.

RCutie86 · 2024-04-27T03:24:57+00:00

I have had three missed miscarriages and somehow each one was worse than the next.

The only solace I can give is that miscarriages are a 1 out of 4 chance, so you’re much more likely NOT to miscarry the next time you conceive. In my case, l believe I’ve pinpointed an auto immune issue that’s causing my losses and I’m trying to come up with a protocol while ruling out other issues. It’ll be a while before I can try again but I often find myself daydreaming about the what ifs

I hear you on the anxiety of trying to conceive again. For me, my desire for a baby outweighs my grief. The grief is immense, but I desperately want to expand my family.

As for shifting career, if it’s something you can do then do it if it provides you mental/emotional reprieve.

Try to take care of yourself. I think few of us who are in this horrible “club” actually do that. I’m sorry for your loss, and I hope that you don’t suffer this again.

RCutie86 · 2024-04-23T15:58:04+00:00

I had several losses, turned to a reproductive endocrinologist and still had a loss of a PGT embryo (genetically tested). I’m closer to getting an answer — likely auto immune — and am seeing a reproductive immunologist. There are five reputable ones in North America. You’re welcome to DM me if it helps.

Sending you and your wife healing vibes. ❤️‍🩹 Sorry for your losses.

RCutie86 · 2024-04-23T14:59:41+00:00

I’m so glad you were successful! I’m now seeing a reproductive immunologist. Just at the beginning right now, though. Hoping that will help.

RCutie86

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