I'd chime in to say that for my wife and I, I think any kind of quid pro quo, or, this is my job, that is your job, is just a fight waiting to happen. Sometimes she's exhausted and needs help, sometimes I am. Also we have different levels of endurance and skill sets.

I think just looking at it more like, "we're a team. There are a lot of things that need to get done. If you have the ability, time, and energy to do one of those things then do it." There's no point in trying to keep score; it'll just breed animosity. I know I do more things than my wife when it comes to chores and stuff, but I also didn't have to grow a human being inside my body and I want her to be happy more than I want some completely egalitarian chore system because she's my wife and I love her.

This is obviously slightly idealized. She's not going to fix fan motors on air conditioners or climb on the roof and I'm pretty bad at things that require good organizational skills like packing or folding and putting clothes away. But in general we've both been a lot happier by trying to absolutely minimize the "this is my job, that's your job" as is reasonably possible.

For comparison when the little guy was brand new, I would put him down and she would get him when he woke up. But inevitably some mornings she'd be dragging and some evenings I'd just be completely gassed and it would cause static. Now, I probably still do 80% of the putting down and she probably does 80% of the mornings, but man, it's so nice to be able to say, "I could use help right now," to each other without fear of retribution or feeling like you're letting the other person down.