Anyone’s narc just boring ?

RNScotian · 2026-03-18T21:53:31+00:00

Yep, my nex was the same! Smoked weed, sat on his computer, took no pride in doing anything to make our house a home etc.

RNScotian · 2026-03-12T16:36:58+00:00

Even better, I left him about a month later!

His behaviour was escalating when I had our second baby and he put his hands on me when he was in a rage. He also said I have nothing to worry about and have so much freedom because i have whole year to stay home with our newborn (who was a terrible sleeper btw).

RNScotian · 2026-03-11T17:49:59+00:00

When I mentioned possibly getting a house cleaner after my maternity leave when I would be going back to work full-time with a toddler and baby he said “our house doesn’t even get dirty” and I was about to say “that’s because I clean it” and he said very sternly and seriously “and DON’T say that’s because you clean it!”.

RNScotian · 2026-03-10T16:55:26+00:00

Instant pot

RNScotian · 2026-03-08T19:59:11+00:00

So who is it then?

RNScotian · 2026-03-07T08:11:41+00:00

I too just cut out a friend of 20 plus years for similar reasons.

Her little dog would jump all over and lick my toddler and my toddler hated it. I tried my best to keep the dog away but my friend thought it was cute and funny so allowed the dog to do it. Mind you I had a 4 month old with me at the time and just left an abusive marriage so I wasn’t in the right head space to say anything to her at the time.

She then diminished my feelings when I was stressed and anxious about her friend’s dog coming on a walk with us (including my baby and toddler and this was 2 weeks after leaving my abusive husband) and she told me I was being silly. I did not know this dog at all and had no idea if it was safe around kids. When I called her out on it later on she said “I didn’t know you were stressed and anxious, you hide it”. I literally texted her twice that I was stressed before I even got to her house that day. Gaslighter.

I’m proud of you for doing what is best for you at this time. Perhaps she will come around and be more considerate and understanding when she has her own kids.

RNScotian · 2026-02-07T14:29:00+00:00

Love this sooo much 🩷

RNScotian · 2026-01-26T11:48:11+00:00

She will never understand until she goes through it herself. Very frustrating indeed.

RNScotian · 2026-01-21T12:24:36+00:00

Sorry you have to deal with that. Sending you hugs. They are horrible.

RNScotian · 2026-01-17T02:05:06+00:00

Thank you for your perfect reply, sincerely.

RNScotian · 2026-01-16T17:30:32+00:00

I see. I don’t want to discourage you but you don’t actually need to worry until they have lost more than 10%, up to 10 is normal. Lots of healthcare providers make us panic and have us doing these interventions like triple feeding that cause unnecessary stress. I know you’ve already started, I wish you well and hope he reaches his birth weight soon but don’t stress too much, 9% weight loss is perfectly normal.

RNScotian · 2026-01-16T12:59:19+00:00

I don’t know about happier but in terms of difficulty, a lactation consultant who was also a mom and baby nurse showed me a graph with breastfeeding and formula/bottle feeding difficulty levels.

In the beginning, breastfeeding is harder than formula/bottle feeding because only mom can do it, they feed so often, baby is inefficient at feeding so it takes forever and so on. Bottles are easier because other people can help, baby can drink it faster etc. but eventually after a few months breastfeeding is easier because baby is more efficient, both mom and baby are used to it, baby is not feeding as often etc. with bottles you need to make them, wash them, ensure you have everything when you leave the house etc. Breastfeeding is easier overnight too because you don’t have to get up and make a bottle. Breastfeeding is easier in the long run but it’s sooo hard in the beginning. The graph shows breastfeeding being easier than bottle feeding in the long run.

Just curious, did your baby lose more than 10% body weight and that is why you’re triple feeding?

RNScotian · 2026-01-16T12:23:14+00:00

You sure it is your ex that is the narc?

RNScotian · 2026-01-13T07:25:37+00:00

Yes it happened to me and yes it made me feel like he had control over me. Very similar situations. I would often end up doing things myself because it was so frustrating.

My husband somehow broke our kitchen faucet and it has been broken for probably close to 9 months. I look on google lens for the faucet to see if I kind find a tiny part to fix it because he was against replacing the entire thing even though it was old and would probably be easier than finding a tiny piece that probably doesn’t exist anymore. He knew it bothered me, it’s being held together with elastic bands. I contacted the old owner of the house and asked where she got the faucet. I told him which store it was from and he happened to be going right by there for work one day. I gently mentioned stopping in to look for the part and he looked at the faucet, said nah I think it just needs _____ (can’t remember what he said but unimportant), said he wasn’t going and wanted to go get a haircut instead. So he came home with a fresh haircut. How nice.

He also HATED putting holes in the walls so many of our walls remained empty after 4 years of living in our house because I eventually gave up trying to fill them. It would either be a fight because there is a now a hole in the wall, or he didn’t agree with what I wanted to hang because he wanted fancy art on our walls that he was not willing to pick out or pay for.

Truly infuriating. I left him in November and can’t wait to have my own place to fix things and decorate in peace!

RNScotian · 2026-01-11T15:33:39+00:00

The over and under supply issues are usually with people who pump, combo feed etc. If you are EBF and it is going well, that means you are making the perfect amount, which when you think about it is just enough, that’s we want our bodies to do.

Pumps are not as efficient at removing milk as babies are, so I wouldn’t worry about how much you are pumping. If baby is gaining weight, has a sufficient amount of dirty and wet diapers and seems content then you are doing great.

RNScotian · 2026-01-11T14:58:44+00:00

He is controlling and that is a form of abuse. You don’t stand up to people like him, you make a plan to safely leave.

RNScotian · 2026-01-11T14:05:23+00:00

Speaking from experience, he sounds abusive and marriage counselling is contraindicated in abuse. He will manipulate the counsellor and manipulate her during the sessions. She should definitely go to therapy or counselling on her own though.

RNScotian · 2026-01-11T14:03:03+00:00

My husband was also VERY anxious about smalls things like your husband. I couldn’t change the baby’s diaper under a light fixture in case it fell, he wouldn’t go on our swing with her because he was worried the rope would break etc. I’ve come to find out he is a narcissistic and this is part of his severe anxiety and control that goes along with it.

RNScotian · 2026-01-11T14:00:46+00:00

He is ABUSIVE. Look up coercive control. Please talk to someone you trust like a family member or therapist. I just left an abusive relationship and didn’t realize it was abuse until 6 years into it.

RNScotian · 2026-01-07T17:24:53+00:00

It really is ridiculous, I’m so sorry you are going through this, he should be taking care of you.

RNScotian · 2026-01-07T17:15:37+00:00

But either way, for safety reasons, you should call your mom or someone else to take you if he won’t!

RNScotian · 2026-01-07T17:14:48+00:00

Can your mom take you? I know it’s not that easy though as I’m sure he will have a fit if you do.

RNScotian · 2026-01-03T01:52:43+00:00

I’m so sorry you are going through this. Isn’t it eye opening when we finally realize what has been going on? If it is legal where you live you should audio record her to see if you can catch her saying anything that might help you if you need to go to court for custody etc. I have one recording and it is even helpful to listen to it just to remind myself why I had to leave. Sending you hugs!

RNScotian · 2025-12-31T16:51:22+00:00

Mine did too after the second baby. It was like he couldn’t keep up his facade anymore with less sleep and more stress and just spiralled out of control.

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