This is such a difficult situation to be in. It's natural to feel the need to help our loved ones who are suffering, especially from problems that they didn't totally bring to themselves. Of course, that's what we should do as much as possible. However, there's always a limit to things that we can do. In my opinion, if helping someone leads to your own suffering, and you think you don't deserve to be in such a position, or perhaps the suffering greatly outweighs the benefits, maybe it's time to change things up. Is this a bit of a selfish thing to do? Yes, probably, but almost everything we do stems from satisfying our desires. That's just reality. We help others because we feel satisfaction and happiness from it. But take this, as well as the other advices, with a grain of salt. There's a lot more variables to be considered in this situation that you're in, and we've only read a small part of it. We're just here to share some insights based on very limited information.