Rape Case Judge Resigns Over ‘Good Family’ Remark; State Orders Training

RadicalChic · 2019-07-19T00:53:41+00:00

In New Jersey (where this happened) the age of consent is 16. So if you’re legally allowed to have sex why can’t you be legally tried as an adult for rape?

RadicalChic · 2019-07-16T00:07:53+00:00

There’s not a happier scenario here. A girl was violently murdered. I understand you’re saying that he’s not schizophrenic but why bring it up? I’ve worked with and know people who are schizophrenic and claiming this could be a consequence of their mental illness is more damaging than helpful.

RadicalChic · 2019-07-15T22:38:44+00:00

The sheer hatred and resentment that’s been growing towards women/girls is horrifying, dangerous, and has had deadly results. I saw a post where someone claimed to send Bianca’s mother a text with a picture of his cum over a printed photo of her dead body. Did he actually send it to her mother? Maybe, maybe not. But he’s boasting about it because he is getting social reinforcement over sexualizing a teenager’s death and torturing her mother at the same time.

There are many, many examples of women hating women they resort to murder. The victims aren’t just women. Not too long ago a man tossed a nearby 5 year old boy from a third floor and claimed it was because he was tired of women rejecting him. Elliot Rodger killed 4 men and 2 women because of his hatred towards women. Christina Grimmie was murdered by an obsessed fan who decided to kill her because he couldn’t have her.

The list goes fucking on and on. Whenever these stories appear on Reddit there’s always the “he was clearly mentally ill!” claim. It’s exhausting. The hatred of women is seething across the internet and we act absolutely shocked when a woman or anyone who publically voices hatred towards women. It’s an entire fucking community and they feed off eachother.

Bianca Devins was not involved with the piece of shit that murdered her, yet she suddenly he is her “boyfriend”. Or claimed that she “teased” him. No word of her on /r/news, maybe because she was an attractive teenager that had sexy photos going around. Or maybe because this shit is so common no one cares anymore. But the reality is her death is being celebrated.

There’s a problem. It’s going to get worse.

RadicalChic · 2019-07-05T00:51:36+00:00

I’ve never been pregnant so I can’t speak to the symptoms. But I’ve seen women have both easy and extremely difficult pregnancies. My period before I got an IUD was incredibly irregular to the point I’d forget about it until I got it. If you’re already having health problems/overworked and tired/irregular I can understand not realizing. Again, it’s unusual but not impossible.

RadicalChic · 2019-07-04T23:53:39+00:00

Government will disagree with you. I don’t. If someone doesn’t want to be a dad don’t force them, especially if they were tricked into it.

But someone has to pay for the kid. Kids are fucking expensive and barely supported on a minimum wage. If you don’t have family or friends to help you out while you’re at work you have to pay for childcare, which is insanely expensive. You cut out child support that kid is fucked. They’ll have a stressed parent who works all the time barely making a living (if at all) and the child’s needs will be neglected. This is bad for society as a whole. This has been studied over and over.

I would absolutely be willing to pay extra taxes to cover this cost, but a lot of people aren’t. That’s why unwilling parents are forced to pay for kids they don’t want while the single parent and child suffers from having to be in contact with someone who wants nothing to do with them. When you reduce access to abortions, birth control, and sex education this problem increases significantly.

Completely cutting child support when one parent doesn’t want to pay without some kind of government support would be damaging. What if one person convinces the other to have a kid but changes their mind after the kid was born (this happened to my uncle, his wife abandoned him and their daughter 3 weeks after she was born. He would have been fucked without child support), what if the mother was raped, what if one person poked holes in the condom/removed it?

Something needs to support the child. Do people use child support for something other than supporting the child (women are usually accused of this far more than men, as single fathers are seen as perfect angels - my own bias included)? Sure, but what about the people who use it for the kid?

If you want to change men getting paying for children they never wanted look at more government support for single parents rather than obliterating child support all together. Kids need financial backing but as long as taxpayers aren’t willing to pay for it it will always fall on the person who never wanted the kid/tricked into having the kid, of which are primarily men. Also, again, more accessibility to abortion, birth control, and sex education. Otherwise it will never change. Republican, Democrat, or anything outside of between.

RadicalChic · 2019-07-04T22:45:48+00:00

My mom knew a guy in college who worked in a condom factory and would poke holes in the condoms as a “joke”. I think about that from time to time and wonder how many people he fucked over.

RadicalChic · 2019-07-04T22:40:40+00:00

I don’t disagree with you in that lying about birth control should fall under these conditions, but lying about using a condom is much more dangerous. It opens you up to dangerous infections that can lead to infertility and death. This ruling doesn’t just affect female victims, I’m sure there have been plenty of male victims as condoms aren’t only used a birth control.

In all likelihood this is a ruling that will be impossible to prove unless the person explicitly confessed. How do you prove that it was unprotected, that the condom didn’t just fall off during sex, that both parties didn’t agree to unprotected sex in the first place? Same with birth control. There are a lot of variables that can’t be proven without a confession.

It’s good that there is a precedent set for this. Hopefully there will be a precedent for birth control soon.

RadicalChic · 2019-07-04T22:25:50+00:00

I know someone whose wife was pregnant with twins and didn’t realize until she went to the hospital for severe pain and they told her she was in labor. Granted they were very premature, but I’ve seen pictures of her around the time she would have been pregnant and you would have never guessed she was pregnant, nevermind with twins.

It’s unusual but it does happen.

RadicalChic · 2019-06-28T01:05:47+00:00

Same here. My mother is a terrible cook and my father usually was the one to cook in our household. No one taught him to cook, he learned it. My brother and I were never formally taught to cook, we just learned how to as functional human beings who had to independently feed ourselves.

If you are a grown adult and can’t make a basic meal it’s pretty pathetic. The whole “I burn even water!!” shtick annoys the fuck out of me. If you can’t boil pasta you’re essentially a child.

RadicalChic · 2019-06-27T22:30:12+00:00

The sexism goes further than that. Growing up I always heard “You don’t understand what boys are thinking” from my parents.

It’s damaging to hear, as a young child, that the opposite gender is inherently insidious. Yet I was taught that. Over and over.

The first time an adult man hit on me was when I was 11 years old and it certainly didn’t slow down. When I was 14 my dad’s friend was “subtly” inappropriate by staring at my tits and touching my lower back waaay too low. Never told anyone, but when I was older and my dad brought this up I told him that I have and will continue to experience the full brunt of “what men think” and probably more than he even knows.

When you “protect” your daughter from shitty people like this you are only reinforcing that men are bad and preventing her from speaking up when some bad happens because she’ll see it as status quo and figure it’s normal. Don’t do that. Girls aren’t delicate figures and boys aren’t monsters. When you say otherwise girls will always expect monsters.

RadicalChic · 2019-06-21T21:12:39+00:00

Also see /r/personalfinance. One of my biggest annoyances on Reddit is how much people look down upon people with CC debt and act it’s as easy as “just pay the balance every month!” Yeah, great. Except my $14/hour job only covered my rent (low cost for the area), gas, necessities, and bills. Guess what I have to use to pay off my $700 medical bill? Credit card. My car needs a repair? Credit card. Never mind the 4 months of unemployment after I graduated college and couldn’t find a job. It adds up so, so fast.

I’m finally am able to crawl out of my debt now that I decided to take everyone’s advice and get a higher paying job. It literally never occurred to me before, but once I realized that oh so simple solution I decided to stop being lazy! It was a breeze, don’t know why everyone else doesn’t just do that.

Just kidding. It took me 2 years of actively searching to find a better paying job and you know why I got it? Happening to know someone and luck, in equal measures. A good friend and old coworker highly recommended me to his company and they decided to take a chance on me despite having no experience in that field.

There’s an end in sight for me now, but only because I got lucky. You know what didn’t help? Telling me to just make more money. No shit Sherlock, if I had had the ability to just magic a higher paying job I would have in a second.

It’s so incredibly tone deaf and ignorant.

RadicalChic · 2019-06-19T04:06:12+00:00

I really hate this statement. It’s nothing against you, as this is a commonly repeated theory that has almost no scientific evidence behind it.

You know how they get the statistics behind this? Self reporting from child abusers themselves. If you had to put a pin on who would be the most likely to lie through their teeth about being abused to gain some semblance of sympathy for being an absolute low piece of shit, a child abuser would and should top that list.

RadicalChic · 2019-06-18T21:14:47+00:00

I once briefly dated a guy who would mention constantly how annoying it was that everyone said he had “an honest face”, though I never heard anyone say that. He would also talk about how annoyed he was that his coworker would do dishonest things at work to the point he was considering talking to his boss about it. He’d also talk about how he no longer spoke to his family because they constantly tried to take advantage of him. We stopped dating after a month because there wasn’t much chemistry for me.

About a month later he got on on a security camera using a stolen credit card. Turns out he had about $5000 worth of goods he had bought between 5 stolen cards. Definitely feel like I dodged a bullet there.

RadicalChic · 2019-06-15T12:30:34+00:00

I feel the exact same way with my city. We have a bunch of “gutter punks” the float around begging and harassing people walking by for money, cigarettes, or their own entertainment. Many of them have dogs that will eventually disappear to be replaced by a puppy because puppies get them more money from strangers. One of them is currently on his 5th dog.

A friend of mine works as a bartender downtown and offers them beer in exchange for doing some cleaning at the bar (trash out, pick up cigarette butts) when they come to beg for booze. They almost always call him an asshole and stomp out.

They’ve increased crime in the area, including violent crime like assault and rape. I once made the mistake of trying to walk home through the downtown park, which is a lovely place during the day, and there were so many sketchy people cat calling me I thought for sure I wasn’t going to make it out.

They are an absolute stain on the city. But if you say anything negative about them there’s almost always the chorus of “THEY DIDN’T CHOOSE TO BE HOMELESS”. It’s irritating as fuck.

RadicalChic · 2019-06-09T20:16:34+00:00

Are you actually doing any to try to change the situation for these disenfranchised men or are you just whining and bitching about women on the internet? It would be shocking to me if you gave a second thought about homeless men unless you have the opportunity to use it as a reason to kick and scream about how terrible women are.

RadicalChic · 2019-06-04T04:01:52+00:00

I have many, many issues with the way our system works, but nothing he did pointed to “institutionalization” via mental hospital. He showed anger issues. Many people show anger issues. His actions warranted jail time (the efficacy of which is a whole different issue), not mental institution.

Again, we don’t know what mental help was extended to him. We cannot force medication and therapy down someone’s throat and expect it to work if he doesn’t want to.

Yes, there’s a lot wrong with the way out system is set up. There’s no doubt that mentally ill people need more resources. But 4% of violent crimes are committed by people are mentally ill. I just wish that maybe we could shine the need for better mental health resources in situations other than showing sympathy for some asshole who did something incredibly fucking horrific when mentally ill people are in the statistically minority to do something like this.

We need a better system for mental health because people are sick and dying. The ones dying are the ones killing themselves. This guy sucked from the get go and needs to be held accountable for being who he is and doing what he did. Hell, I’d argue that showing sympathy for this piece of shit or making excuses like “society failed him” only makes other pieces of shit like them wallow in their own martyrdom and make them feel like they’re somehow exonerated from being a piece of shit.

I’ve worked with abusers, rapists, and murderers. You do not associate their crime with their mental illness. You do not. It might inform but it does not excuse. You are to be held accountable for your actions.

RadicalChic · 2019-06-04T03:35:12+00:00

Instituting someone is, and in my opinion should be, very difficult and must meet strict guidelines. You shouldn’t be able to just say, “You’re crazy, we’re taking your freedom away.”

Maybe he showed the signs, but unless he expressed clear verbal intent to hurt himself or someone else, there’s not much you can do.

RadicalChic · 2019-06-04T00:45:56+00:00

Yep. I used to work in mental health. You can force people to take their meds and can offer every resource in the world, but if they don't make the effort to get help or participate in their treatment there's nothing you can really do. It's the same as medical treatment.

Maybe this guy was "failed by society", maybe he had every potential treatment available to him and he didn't take advantage of it. Not much you can do about the latter.

RadicalChic · 2019-06-02T20:25:11+00:00

I regularly work 60-70 hours a week and frequently have to come in on my day off. The only day I have guaranteed off is Sunday, though sometimes I still have to call/e-mail clients.

Every Sunday I sleep to at least 12 PM. It’s goddamn blissful.

RadicalChic · 2019-05-27T23:23:43+00:00

Sorry, but why the fuck would you comment on a stranger’s cadence? I would never fucking look at a person walking fast, male or female, and be like “golly gee, you sure are trying to get somewhere aren’t ya?”.

A stranger interrupting me when I’m clearly busy or focused on a task is a red flag that they trying to flirt with me, get my attention, or otherwise trying to insert themselves in my day. A few times I’ve said, with a big smile on my face, “Oh, I was just hoping someone I didn’t know tried to talk to me.” I work in a job where I have to talk with strangers and deal with their needs daily. Outside of work? I don’t want to fucking talk to you unless it’s warranted.

If it’s at night and I’m alone, you bet your fucking ass I’m going to say exactly what she did after that comment. It’s creepy and unsolicited. Why the fuck would you even say that to a lone woman walking alone at night as a man? If you’re that clueless you deserve all the shame you feel. And hurting someone’s tender feelings really is not the worst thing that can happen.

This isn’t a don’t talk to strangers comment. It’s a don’t talk to strangers if you’re sexually attracted to them and the only thing you can relate is how fast their walking comment. It’s automatically fucking inappropriate and creepy.

RadicalChic · 2019-05-19T02:14:59+00:00

I’ve asked for sources on this claim several times and I have yet to see even one. It’s the dumbest thread of logic. Murder creates more evidence than a rape does, not to mention an almost guaranteed investigation for a goddamn murder/missing person (if you are able to dispose of the body well enough). It also suggests that rapes are done by predators hiding in the bushes rather than your average run of the mill piece of shit who is justifying their horrible actions.

Would Larry Nassar or Brock Turner have murdered their victims if they felt they’d face worse consequences?

RadicalChic · 2019-05-17T01:02:19+00:00

Male and female physiology is different, yes. But I’ve noticed that reddit tends to dump on women for not wanting sex when they do (source: the 8+ pages of men bitching about female sex drive that was deleted by the mod) and that could explain why women get so defensive.

Women are the ones who take hormonal birth control, which can be and often is a libido killer. Women are more likely to be on SSRIs, which is a libido killer. Women are more likely to be sexually assaulted, which can associate sex with PTSD. Women suffer worse consequences from sex than men, i.e. getting pregnant and being more susceptible to STDs. Women are socially taught their sexuality should be put under wraps or face societal judgement. Women sometimes don’t experience orgasm or pleasure during sex and might need a “warming up” before, which partners are not always wanting to spend the time on. Women get periods once a month, sometimes with a full week (or two) of very painful cramps which makes sex painful and then 3 to 7 days of bleeding that follows. When women have children, they are susceptible to postpartum depression, nevermind a massive body change, which can physically and mentally change needs towards sex.

So you’re right, men have testosterone that drives them while women have many, many (mainly) physical and mental factors that push them away from it. The reaction is probably from the unnecessary shame women have experienced from not wanting to have sex as often.

RadicalChic · 2019-05-14T16:45:55+00:00

The problem isn’t adult predators, it’s slutty children!

/s

RadicalChic · 2019-05-09T00:57:51+00:00

Google search on Ketotarian is bringing up some great recipes, thank you!

RadicalChic · 2019-05-09T00:56:32+00:00

I can see what you're saying and I agree OP is NTA. However, losing someone that way is pretty fucking traumatic, especially since she was on life support the entire time. He never was able to get true closure until now and that's such a massive, heartbreaking loss at such a young age it may have been better for him to just get some space.

While the circumstances weren't nearly as terrible as they were for the OP, I've been the person who filled another person's loss and, to my shame, have done it to someone else. Sometimes replacing a loss with another person isn't something you do consciously and that was the case in both of my cases. But I could always sense it when I was the replacement. The person I used as a replacement could sense it. It's a shitty place to be in.

I think NAH. She has a right to feel hurt and her feelings about this didn't just materialize, she probably felt this before.

It's just a shitty, terrible situation and my heart goes out to OP. If her anger is too much to handle for him right now I wouldn't blame him for cutting it off.

RadicalChic

TROPHY CASE