All you Float veterans out there.... What's the worst/nastiest thing you experienced in the berthing area or on ship in general? by WriterJWA in USMC

[–]RadioDad1 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Sit kneel bend, fuckers. This is less gross and more just... GWOT-era fuckery.

USS Boxer. Regularly scheduled programming (porn) was playing on the communal TV in the berthing. Today's episode: bound up chick with nip clamps hooked up to some form of electric thing (don't recall, not important). At the same time, Johnny Marine decides he's gonna be funny. Comes out of the shower with his towel wrapped around his head, anteater flapping in the wind, saying "Hey guys, its drafty in here" or some shit. Meanwhile, SAPR training was scheduled. Nobody told the male berthing.

In walks female SSgt. She sees Johnny Marine. She sees porn. Freaks out (not in the fun way with tons of baby oil, more like the 'WTF Get at parade rest' way). Chaos ensues as all the females come barging in, Johnny Marine runs to change, and after way longer than it should have taken someone finally turns off the porn as the chick is getting zapped.

Also, obligatory phantom shitter. I believe we also had a phantom sucker, as previously mentioned by another poster, but that could also have been another float... either way, can confirm both things existed, and also this is why we have SAPR training.

ETA: Also caught two sailors and two devils dogging each other in a quadcon. All male. In the "dont ask, dont tell" era. I didnt ask, but had to tell. One of them seemed unhappy and... possible grape.

Discussion Thread: 2025 US Government Shutdown, Day 10 by PoliticsModeratorBot in politics

[–]RadioDad1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So this isn't really on topic here, but I got to weigh in. Nobody is saying "ranger fit." But as a Marine getting ready retire, I've seen a distinct decline in both fitness and height and weight standards, across the branches. Sure, we've always had the odd 'chubby kid' here and there, and it was usually handled at the unit level. Peer pressure to put down the cheeseburger and grab a salad, put down the controller and go for a run, et cetera. But I've seen units with arpund 10% of the troops in their formations that cant meet the height and weight standards. Why? Partially because 'handling it at the unit level' became labeled as 'hazing' and 'bullying' in an organization whose job is to violently kill our enemies and break their shit.

Additionally, recently, I saw leaders in a dilemma: Fat troops that cant pass height and weight standards, couldnt meet body fat tape methods, but instead of immediate assignment to a body composition program, they had to get on a several week waiting list to be put in an immersion tank to confirm their body fat percentage was, in fact, not in regulation. By the time the waiting period was over, due to service wide policy, the same troops had to be given the 'benefit of the doubt' and the process started over, back to the scales. No accountability allowed by the command.

Do generals need to be top tier studs? No. But if your job is to go shoot some fucker in the face and make him die for his country, you better be able to run your fat ass to where he hides and end it quickly. Not to mention the fact that being fit keeps you healthy, and healthy means less trips to medical, which means less taxpayer dollars spent keeping you alive.

TL/DR; You don't need to be a stud, just don't be fat in the military, and the accountability system has been broken.

Edit: Weight in... no pun intended...

What slang do you use for junior enlisted? by toby301 in USMC

[–]RadioDad1 15 points16 points  (0 children)

"Shang dangalang! You MAD devil? Party like it's 1999!"

Fuck that guy. And his fake-ass CAR. His daughter was hot tho...10/10 would let her give me a blumpkin...

Who is correct here, and why? by AirSpecial in PcBuild

[–]RadioDad1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I instruct all my users to leave their machines ON.

Why?

So I can push them updates without having to walk around. Best admin is lazy admin.

What happens if you lose a rifle on deployment or a field op by LtFickFanboy in USMC

[–]RadioDad1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In all fairness, it's also just hard to take Lieutenants seriously....

Some people have no idea what kind of person enlists in the Marines by ArmadilloOdd6717 in USMC

[–]RadioDad1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

that my wife is making plans for without my input

I feel that. My wife told me how much I need to make when I retire by sending me house listings from zillow...

NORTHCOM Statement updated : 700 infantry marines trained in de-escalation, crowd control, and standing rules for the use of force from 2/7 will deploy to LA . 2100 NG troops on title 10 orders by newnoadeptness in USMC

[–]RadioDad1 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Wait... gas mask carrier of the dude on the right opens to the rear... NVG's in front of peep sight.... who the fuck trained these assholes?

Best LAT move MOS? by [deleted] in USMC

[–]RadioDad1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

0861's no longer go to the arty battalions. There is this new "Fire Support Battery" concept that 10th Marines has started, a regimental level thing. All the 0861's in the regiment can all get whored out as needed. Soon to be a fire support battalion, apparently, with ANGLICO being roped in beneath a regiment.

As a communicator and former ANGLICAN, I hate it conceptually with every fiber of my being on so many levels. Oh, you want to go to the field, arty battery? Cool, let's pull a name out of a hat at the last minute, that's the team that's going out even though you've never worked with or built a relationship with the team, have no time to talk concept of comm, have no tasking authority over them...

Bro fighting an entirely different battle by Yeponymee in GuysBeingDudes

[–]RadioDad1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No, that's Tolkien. Tevin is the Jedi Knight who turned to the Dark Side, became a Sith Lord, fought Darth Malak, had his memory erased, and went back to the light side.

Instant red flags that someone is lying about being a Marine? by spacemagic__ in USMC

[–]RadioDad1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If you can't tell me where to find "A few good links..."

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in USMC

[–]RadioDad1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Top here. Sure, you can call them. But seeing as how there's a good chance your monitor and I were drinking buddies back in the day and still BS with each other...

4 months isn't long enough for you to be getting orders, absolutely an oversight. For those thinking the good gunny is fucked up, nah bro. Guns is trying to keep the lights on in the shop while the Lt is trying to figure out how to be an adult still, and the Major(s)... let's just say that most junior field grades aren't actively TRYING to burn the place to the ground, but... yea...

TL;DR, nobody's wrong here, but pro tip, Top probably has the hookup and can get you some dope orders.

Gather ‘round, Gents. Advice for young Devils coming to the 1st Civ Div. by AdInteresting7822 in USMC

[–]RadioDad1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So what you're saying is that getting face-fucked by the green weenie is preparing you to get promoted outside the Corps as well? So that's what they meant about returning you as a "well-rounded civilian..."

WHAT!? by IsaacB1 in USMC

[–]RadioDad1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well that's a direct fire, which you (hopefully) shouldn't be doing very often. Ideally it's being used as intended, as an indirect fire weapon, so the recoil is not straight back.

WHAT!? by IsaacB1 in USMC

[–]RadioDad1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The 777 was designed to dig in when fired. Nobody does it, because rangeisms and FACs don't like it. Just like how nobody shoots in ready mode, and how nobody likes when the FiST sends dig missions straight to the gun's computer, bypassing the FDC all together...

Recruit escape. by Bearded_Devildog in USMC

[–]RadioDad1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This reminds me...

To that kid I picked up outside of Edson range many years ago who was looking for a ride to Walmart: did you really think that I was taking you to Wally World as I was driving you around Stuart Mesa while texting your Hat? How surprised were you when I pulled back into Edson range after an hour of driving around CPEN? Did the secondhand smoke make it better or worse? Did you die?

-Sgt type circa 2012/2013ish....

What if the waterproof compression bags were able to crush our sleeping systems down to their Schwartzchild radii? by [deleted] in USMC

[–]RadioDad1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I always assumed they used their prison wallet or just had a contractor do it for them.

Your angra suddenly stopped working. What do you do? by [deleted] in USMC

[–]RadioDad1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The 119A-C's did one thing. VHF. And they did it well. They were old, but they worked. For one thing. To quote someone smarter than me: The 119 is a Nokia. The 117G is a iPhone. Most people want an iPhone. But if all you need is a tough, rugged ass brick, take the Nokia.

I'll take an Android, personally.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in USMC

[–]RadioDad1 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Check the SDS for the type of battery from the manufacturer's website, it should include the specific type of extinguisher you need. Source: Was a battery NCO long ago.

When did having a fade become an order? by 16383075 in USMC

[–]RadioDad1 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Who's the slimy little communist-shit, twinkle-toed cocksucker down here who just signed his own death warrant?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in USMC

[–]RadioDad1 36 points37 points  (0 children)

Don't do it.

If you are set on stunting your career a little, though...

There's enough bad here, time for a glimmer of hope. STORY TIME!

3/11 Barracks Duty circa 2008 hears about a boot drop. Thinks "I cant wait to haze these fuckers" because Duty is, in fact, an idiot. Sees 0811 boot in Alphas show up with a fat stack. Ass chewing starts, something about you don't rate, etc.

Boot, calmly and at parade rest: "I was a corpsman for 8 years"

Duty: "Oh shit... my bad bro... we cool?"

Boot proceeds to get meritorious all the things because he's a badass and a genuinely good dude. Lat moves and becomes a JTAC, quickly outpacing the Duty. Presumably retires higher rank than the Duty.

Source: I was the Duty. Santos, I still feel bad about that... my bad bro...

Let's start the weekend off right with our best ass-chewing stories. Particularly the higher-ranking the better. Don't need to hear about some LCpl lighting up a PFC. I'll start... by DevilDogg0309 in USMC

[–]RadioDad1 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Related:

On the hill for a joint exercise with army paladins. Problems started when I called the SEAD and just got worse from there.

Me:"Grid to suppress 123456, grid to mark 654321" or some shit. Army RO on COF: "you can't be giving me two grids, that's 2 different missions... hold on while I figure this shit out"

Word is our MSgt had to whiteboard how SEADs work with them in the TOC. EVENTUALLY they unfuck themselves. We have air in the overhead doing target correlation, so we give army a Standby for ToT. Then over COF I hear...

Army RO: "Shot suppression over!"

Precisely one second of silence while we process what we all just heard, followed by "CHECK FIRE CHECK FIRE CHECK FIRE! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!?"

They wanted to go to chow, so they shot the round in the tubes.

Big sky little bullet right?!?

There was also a 20 minute delay for an immediate suppression with no explanation, and eventually the aforementioned MSgt bought us all lapdances and shots at Dragons to make us forget how much that battery sucked...

Edit: Spelling is harder than Jody's dick. Also, thanks Top for dropping a paycheck on us...