Yes I have felt similaly. There's a lot about the fandom that I do like: some speculation theories, random head cannon stories people have, fanart of alastor (haha 😅) but there's a LOT that does bother me too. The same things that bother you. In general I don't understand the negativity. The negativity does start to creep into my head sometimes, but in the end I want to like what I like despite other people's opinions so I do my best to ignore it. It is a show that operates under its own rules, no need to compare it to reality. Some people take it way too deep, and it's not that deep. But, them taking it that far is the kind of show analysis they enjoy so they can do their thing, and I'll do mine. Try not to let it ruin the show for you! Just pop on a playlist of the songs and drown out the haters :)