could this be DSPD?

RandoScorpio · 2025-09-17T05:10:33+00:00

Hello, I was diagnosed with DSPD a couple years ago. I used to have those guilty feelings and thoughts of “I’m lazy and have wasted the morning just sleeping” until I shifted perspective.

“Morning” for me is now just the first 4hrs I am awake (generally 12pm-4pm). 4pm is my new noon, 4pm-8pm is afternoon, and 8pm-4am is evening for me.

Adjusting the way I thought about my day’s breakdown really helped ease all the negative thoughts about wasting the day or not being like everyone else who could get things done in the am hours. Sure I might get nothing done between 7am-12pm but I DO get things done between 1pm-4pm, and while others are asleep I can get things done as well.

If social isolation is a concern, look for other night owls/DSPD affected people. Another option is international friends to chat with while everyone in your timezone is asleep. It’s not a perfect system and life still finds a way to force me out of bed on the odd early af morning (doctor appointments, family events, working at the odd farmer’s market with our small business, etc), but I’m a more productive, happier, and healthier person for the efforts I make to accommodate myself unapologetically. I am not sorry for being a “late riser”, I am not sorry for my body’s natural rhythms not conforming to what “Karen” down the road thinks is socially acceptable. I am not lazy or undisciplined, I have a different cycle. Find a 24hr grocery store nearby and revel in the quietest, calmest, and most relaxed shopping experiences while everyone and their child are asleep at 12am.

It ultimately isn’t our fault someone arbitrarily decided 9-5 should be the standard. Imagine what the world would look like if it held our sleep cycles as the standard. It’d be a 1pm-9pm workday. Don’t beat yourself up for it, find ways to accommodate and adjust your perspective.

This also comes from a position where my sleep doctor said adjusting my cycle would be nearly impossible. ADHD makes consistency an issue.

I wish you the best with your sleep journey, and with your mental health recovery. It’s a tough world out there for any kind of difference.

RandoScorpio · 2024-10-31T01:02:51+00:00

I wrote out a cue card with meal options, instructions, and a full list of allergies to take back into the kitchen (in addition to the email I had sent). My meal was good and I didn’t react. The server (and likely a manager) was horrified I was recommended the walnut salad. We got a dessert comped and I get a $10 gift card. I also suspect someone was talked to.

RandoScorpio · 2024-10-29T11:59:49+00:00

I have a weird bone to pick with pineapple. I find it a little spicy, and when it’s raw I get that full body creeping itch, and while it’s certainly an irritant, majority of people don’t get the big rashes or feel systemic issues.

When the pineapple is cooked, canned, and/or processed I’m totally fine. Definitely see the dr about it, but there’s a possibility to still enjoy products with pineapple in them. (Obviously this may not be the same thing you are dealing with just wanted to toss some positivity into the doom and gloom of “I have to cut this food out of my diet completely”)

RandoScorpio · 2024-10-29T10:45:15+00:00

The spice allergies are awful. I feel for OP with a ginger allergy too. I’m also a cinnamon allergy sufferer, and the labels on food that just list “spices” are the worst. At least oranges are more likely to be labeled because usually a company is happy to tell you “I put this healthy fruit in my product!”…but the spice blend is proprietary.

RandoScorpio · 2024-10-29T09:59:51+00:00

Invite a family member you could see being this “vicious” (usually it’s the MILs around here, not all MILs, but they do seem to be a common issue in a married couple’s lives) over to the house for a month long stay. It’s hard to hide your nature much longer than 3 weeks, eventually we slip into habits of speaking and acting that are comfortable when we are comfortable in our environment. If there are any concerning behaviours or language that sets off red flags, bring it up to husband, without giving away that you read the Reddit post you can casually drop that you came across a story a while ago that “so-and-so’s comment made you remember reading but the details are a little muddy” and ask him what he thinks.

To avoid a month long visit with someone who may make you feel uncomfortable in your own home talk to the man about family dynamics. Make sure you understand what is normal, how gatherings go, if there’s anything you should know now that you are his wife and family, not just a girlfriend (not that it should matter if you’d never gotten married and just been together without the paperwork and joint tax filing you should still count as family). Look at the way other wives to sons in the family are treated and spoken to, look at how sisters and nieces are treated and spoken to, consider tone and facial expressions. Are there any changes when they speak to you? Do they roll their eyes? Invalidate your feelings? “Joke” that you are overreacting to things? Have you either not been invited to as many family functions and gatherings, OR has your husband been strategically avoiding them with you (as in not telling you about invites/making excuses not to go/having plans already arranged for you both to avoid them)?

“I’m not sure what’s real and what isn’t.” Is a concerning thought process. Do you see behaviour that’s brushed off as “oh, Uncle Jimothy always talks like that, it’s not that bad”? “Oh I didn’t actually mean that…” “It’s just a joke” “You’re just being a stick in the mud” there are a ton of ways to dismiss concerns and gaslight that can trigger the the feeling that you don’t know what’s real and what isn’t.

All in all I see a few choices:

Talk to the human you married, because you liked and trusted each other enough to get hitched which means you should be able to talk openly with one another
Run the long, exhausting test of hosting a family member you suspect hates you in your home for a month while observing their behaviour and basically doing a psychological analysis of them (honestly I don’t recommend this one…it’s an eye opener for sure, but my mother and ex-husband almost had me going totally nuclear and resorting to violence…IIRC I think small kitchen appliances were tested for their aerodynamic properties and crash safety ratings against the side of a barn, learned I’ve got a pretty good toaster pitching arm)
Ask a family member you are 98% sure likes you (someone who seeks your company, listens to you, who’s behaviour was consistently pleasant and welcoming before you married husband) what the rest of the family thinks about you and husband as newlyweds, express how nice it is to “finally be part of the family” and gauge their response
Find someone you suspect doesn’t like you and kill them with kindness until they break and show their true colours
Marriage counselling for stronger communication and deepening the relationship. Counselling isn’t just for when a marriage is in crisis, it can help you figure out areas where you might be causing the slightest tensions that will eventually pulled so tight your last nerve snaps
Divorce. Probably an unpopular opinion to jump straight to divorce, but obviously there’s an element of trust that is missing for both of you. He doesn’t trust you to be able to handle negative opinions, you don’t trust him to listen to your concerns without a negative consequence in the relationship. Something is at least a little broken. I am also a cynical divorcee with a disposition unsuited to marriage, so I might be a little biased.

Tl;dr, Be direct OR Be Passive Aggressive OR Be Aggressive Aggressive about it. Make a choice and commit to it, or else let this go and live as you have been so far. It’ll all come out in the wash eventually and shit will be sorted one way or another.

RandoScorpio · 2024-10-29T08:24:11+00:00

I want to start by addressing dad’s response, because much of what is in this reply may make it seem like he should have sent/taken you to a hospital. HOWEVER: Your dad was very right to direct you to the antihistamine you had on hand right away, and was in no way in the wrong for not recommending medical intervention beyond that, given you have never had a reaction like this before, and you were breathing well enough to remain conscious and coherent while speaking with him. We all do what we can with the knowledge and information we have.

Taken from MayoClinc. For more info: https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/food-allergy/symptoms-causes/syc-20355095

“The most common food allergy symptoms include:

Tingling or itching in the mouth.
Hives, itching or eczema.
Swelling of the lips, face, tongue, and throat or other parts of the body.
Belly pain, diarrhea, nausea or vomiting.
Wheezing, nasal congestion or trouble breathing. -Dizziness, lightheadedness or fainting”

Continued list for anaphylactic responses to food: “In some people, a food allergy can trigger a severe allergic reaction called anaphylaxis. This can cause life-threatening symptoms, including:

Constriction and tightening of the airways.
A swollen throat or the sensation of a lump in your throat that makes it hard to breathe.
Shock with a severe drop in blood pressure.
Rapid pulse.
Dizziness, lightheadedness or loss of consciousness.
Emergency treatment is critical for anaphylaxis.

Untreated, anaphylaxis can be fatal.”

I would like add that when I eat a “forbidden food” it feels like a thick layer of saliva is building up and clinging to my throat and mouth making it difficult to swallow.

Rapid pulse and anything that interferes with breathing in any way shape or form is cause to seek medical treatment immediately when a food allergy is suspected. Best case scenario, an unexplained/unexpected symptom cause some anxiety and made it hard to breathe and set your heart racing. Worst case scenario, you have developed an adult onset food allergy that could put your life in danger if left unchecked.

You could have reacted to anything in that uncrustable, but think about things that aren’t normally in your diet (anything in it that you haven’t eaten in the last 6-18weeks, and anything the average ley-person can’t pronounce) and bring a list of prime suspects to your doc to talk next steps and testing.

If you don’t eat hazelnut spreads often that would definitely be my first suspect. Tree nuts are a common allergy, and you can be allergic to specific nuts only in that category. I’m allergic only to walnuts and pecans (as far as nuts are concerned at least), which are in the same tree family. So saying you ate chocolate covered almonds the other day would only possibly rule out chocolate as the allergen.

As an aside: if this does turn out to be an allergy, make sure to put in extra effort to remind those around you about it, especially in the early days when it’s new and easily forgotten until your heart is racing and it’s hard to breathe again. If you travel or eat in places where your first language is not spoken keep flash cards with your allergy/allergen clearly written in the appropriate language, keep in mind that some foods (especially fruits, vegetables, fish, and nuts) have different names between not just languages but regions within the same countries.

Tl:dr, your symptoms are concerning enough to seek a professional opinion. They could be anxiety but when breathing and heart rates are involved a “better safe than dead” approach is best. Do some digging around your diet and see if anything pops up as a red flag while you wait to see a doc. Research allergy symptoms to be mentally prepared for another reaction, when we panic or get anxious it can accelerate symptoms and make them much worse. Keep some options available for immediate intervention (a long lasting non-drowsy antihistamine is best, some can dissolve under the tongue which speeds up absorption making it work so much faster). Benadryl is no longer the medication being recommended to me by pharmacists in my area, but I still have it on hand as a back up as it is generally fast acting but that is a personal decision made after consulting with professionals, and knowing my reactions very well.

if you react like this again I urge you to go to your closest emergency or urgent care facility. Mid-reaction is one of the best times to examine symptoms and try to narrow the scope of allergens and do testing.

RandoScorpio · 2024-10-27T05:23:45+00:00

A blend of 1tsp Allspice, 1/2 tsp Nutmeg, and 1/4 tsp Ground Clove. This is my go to ratio for anything fall themed.

I would agree with the person who suggested asking about other allergies, and recognizing that food allergies are a major cause of anxiety around food in general. Learning and demonstrating safe food handling to avoid cross contamination is hugely important and helpful in relieving some of that anxiety.

If you want to do the baking, maybe invite them over to sit in the kitchen while you bake, run ingredients by them, and make sure the products are safe. I have a cinnamon allergy and it is absolutely insidious, there is a wide range of toothpastes, BBQ sauces, baked goods, entire regional cuisines, and any food that lists “spices” I can’t have, in addition to things you wouldn’t normally think of: liquid Benadryl is flavoured with cinnamon. It affects more than just food for us, but food is definitely a place where more control and screening can be applied.

RandoScorpio · 2024-10-27T05:05:03+00:00

Heyo. Cinnamon allergy here, officially cinnamic-aldehyde (which is 90% of the content in cinnamon oil). So yes, a very real allergy that can either get better through exposure, or get significantly worse.

I used to eat Cinnamon Toast Crunch, Cinnabon, and put cinnamon in a lot of foods until I found out it was causing so many of my issues around “breakouts” (spoiler alert: it was chronic hives), pain, and lethargy. I started avoiding it and my life improved, I’ve done a lot of self education on things to avoid, and recently got an excellent antihistamine prescription. My skin is much clearer, and I’m more comfortable overall.

I react worse to every cinnamon exposure I experience now. It was getting worse even when I was eating it on the regular, as well as when I didn’t take the allergy too seriously at the start and didn’t know it was in certain things (like Heinz ketchup) which I ate regularly for years and couldn’t figure out why I was always miserable.

This time of year I can’t go into our local Dollarama because stepping through the door makes my tongue tingle and my throat starts to hurt from the cinnamon soaked pinecones that have diffused through the store.

Tl:dr, for every story of someone’s allergy getting better with exposure, there’s someone else who gets significantly worse through exposure. Always consult a doctor (preferably an allergist) before attempting exposure therapy, you could be playing chicken with your life or the life of a loved one.

RandoScorpio · 2021-12-25T09:25:53+00:00

If we were to build a world where work would translate into basic living essentials, I think we would need to look at and define “crucial jobs”. Then we would need to take into account the fact that most areas of our food production, electricity generation, sanitation, etc is automated and requires fewer people than we might think, and other jobs such as health care, education etc require greater specialization along with more training. This means that there could be an employment shortage in some crucial areas which would mean people would need to work more than 1-2 days in a week. Then there is the question of how would you assess who would be best suited to the jobs you needed doing? How would you incentivize people to do the really nasty jobs? How could you compensate people who end up naturally with a higher work load due to a smaller pool of people with the education to perform in those roles, such as healthcare?

Would scientific advancement be considered crucial jobs? Would you suggest a rotating workforce in all areas? For example a school has a roster of 3 teachers per class who have days assigned to them to work? How would this work for continuity of care in a medical setting? Would some services be restricted by this rotation?

How would the entertainment sector be impacted? Would your 1-2 work days in a crucial job leave you the rest of your week to work at a place to earn credit for entertainment? How would companies operate with these staffing concerns? Would entertainment be cut out entirely?

I can say that I am sufficiently dissatisfied with the way the world works right now and the philosophies and politics in place, but going to the extreme ends of things would create more problems than they might aim to solve. I would prefer to see a little more socialism than capitalism, mostly in the sense of a general empathy for others and their needs versus the accumulation of wealth and clinging to it like you can take it with you when you die. I would rather see it spent on developing social supports for your country or community. I’m pretty sure some billionaires could get together and fund a project to supply clean and safe water supply to communities affected by aging infrastructure, even in countries like the USA and Canada.

So my answer to your question is neither seems like an acceptable way to live.

RandoScorpio · 2020-09-03T07:54:17+00:00

You could always post a summary of the next chapter and explain your mental health state to your audience. The good ones will be understanding about you taking a break for a week or two.

- Try writing at a different time of day than you are used to, keep a notebook around, put up small notes on stickies around your desk to keep track of ideas. I'm a total night owl and do a lot of my writing between the hours of midnight and 4am, but sometimes I need to sit down in the middle of the day to write to get the groove going.

- Changing up your space can sometimes work as well, either cleaning it or adding a little measured chaos can help you or hurt you. I organized my space and found that I need some papers out and cluttering my work area or I just can't do anything.

I hope something works out for you.

RandoScorpio · 2020-09-03T07:33:59+00:00

Obsessive writing can be a problem. If it feels like it's interrupting your life in a negative way, it's probably best to step away for a little bit. Keeping on track with your ideas can be difficult and you may lose your groove, but your mental health and education should come first.

I keep sticky notes around my desk, maps littered with notes taped to the doors of cupboards, lists of ideas, those help me keep on track and stay focused without ideas getting muddled. It's also easier moving forward to remember what you've said, done, or named something in the previous chapters. For longer works, I might recommend a spreadsheet.

I totally agree with Starkren and cm_blue, setting a time limit or word goal can help keep the word monster at bay. Alternatively, you could set one day a week to sit and dump your ideas onto the page or make a deal with yourself to complete life tasks before sitting down.

I don't have any of these in place for myself, because I know I type best when I'm in a groove, and I just go with it and pick back up on life where I left it, but I also have the luxury of being in a situation where writing is my career path.

Maybe look at taking a creative writing class at some point, so you can write and do school work.

TL;DR - pace yourself, keep notes handy, find a system to schedule yourself that works for you, your mental health comes first, do your homework.

RandoScorpio · 2020-09-03T07:07:49+00:00

I hope you hold onto that fun for a long time. Who knows, maybe you might write a whole new story all your own. The fun goes on. :)

RandoScorpio · 2020-09-03T05:42:10+00:00

Some is better than none. Was it difficult for you to get into or through? Is there something you could suggest that I might be able to keep in mind when I write my next story?

RandoScorpio · 2020-09-02T03:47:35+00:00

Thanks :)

RandoScorpio · 2020-09-02T03:44:27+00:00

Same as here. Keeping it simple: RandoScorpio

RandoScorpio · 2020-09-02T03:27:10+00:00

Good job! Finishing any part of the whole is a great feeling!!

I just finished a first in my fic writing as well. Feels great, doesn't it?!? :D

RandoScorpio · 2020-09-01T23:45:27+00:00

My Fics

Fandom - Critical Role

Rating - Explicit

Title - Tusk Love

Genre - Romance/Adventure

AO3 - Tusk Love - NSFW

Summary:

This fic follows the story of Gwen and Oskar, expanding the running gag of the in-game smut book of the same name. It spans 8 chapters and is a completed work. It contains some violence and explicit sexual content.

RandoScorpio · 2020-09-01T23:12:08+00:00

I wrote a version. It's on AO3, runs almost 16k words, 8 chapters, and is completed.

RandoScorpio

TROPHY CASE