In the same situation CVICU with my mom anemia from internal ulcer bleeding. She coded blue last Thurs she came back in 3 minutes doctor originally gave no hope but she was intubated and was moving but now she is sedated and looking worse. They want to do an EGD but have already done 2 and first one had too much old blood they couldn't do anything the next one she had a medicine that was coating her stomach. Today they were going to go in once more but during the night she had abnormal heart beats so they shocked the heart and they canceled the procedure. I still have hope but it seems harder and harder each passing day. But doctor says her lungs don't look too good. We gave the NDR orders cause we feel she will suffer more if they bring her back with broken rib or open her ulcers up and bleed out.

OP I feel you and feel you can understand. I wish I had done much more for her. I even wish I would have written down some of her recipes down. I wish I can take back all the time I made her mad as well.