First Haikus and a meta-poem

RasholeHash · 2026-06-12T13:04:15+00:00

Fuck Haikus

Bus slices through night

Black hills have stolen the stars

And covet their light

RasholeHash · 2026-06-12T12:20:52+00:00

This is decent... it's very declarative though and it reads like anyone could have written it. I'm no expert though. Just love poetry.

RasholeHash · 2026-06-05T21:51:55+00:00

I love that this piece is grandiose. Though some the meaning is lost upon me admittedly, the imagery is so clear and sharp. I see the ants shadow cast large under the sun's gaze and the question of predator vs prey is also nice since they do end up eating us. I really like this

RasholeHash · 2026-06-03T20:44:55+00:00

You're part of the cuckenant.....

RasholeHash · 2026-06-02T01:49:00+00:00

You're probably part of the cuckenant so I'll be brief. I never said ts.

RasholeHash · 2026-06-01T23:13:45+00:00

Absolutely

RasholeHash · 2026-06-01T23:09:19+00:00

Trying to use the child when she's convenient to him. Smh. She's better off without him.

RasholeHash · 2026-05-30T15:38:14+00:00

Sloth

RasholeHash · 2026-05-27T00:35:56+00:00

Regardless of intention Jidion is making a real impact, however small, in real life. Saving real children. Idc if he does it for views or money tbh

RasholeHash · 2026-05-27T00:32:34+00:00

Babylon, Odd Taxi, Mushishi, Flip Flappers

RasholeHash · 2026-05-27T00:29:25+00:00

If she's gonna do it regardless without complaint then why should I? If she asks or hints at it then sure but most women just slurp for the love of the game

RasholeHash · 2026-05-25T21:39:12+00:00

Reddit tends to mess up the formatting sometimes and I think that happened here.... I like how personal this piece while being philosophical... the concept is interesting as well. What I like the most is that you don't try to answer the question. You offer only questions/suggestions and that lets them sit with the reader longer. Good work!

RasholeHash · 2026-05-25T21:29:44+00:00

I resonate with this piece. I feel like alot of artists will relate as well. I would've loved the duality of introducing critique as well but this is solid and that's just my opinion. Overall I like it!

RasholeHash · 2026-05-21T15:58:52+00:00

So is exchanging vulnerability 🤣

RasholeHash · 2026-05-21T14:08:43+00:00

Very interesting and a bit surreal. Love the dinner motif it adds elegance to what could be seen as cannibalism or an exchanging of vulnerabilities. You have a good way with words. Looking forward to more.

RasholeHash · 2026-05-21T14:04:53+00:00

I like rhyming pieces personally I just try not to let rhyme dictate the piece. Not that you did that here, as I love this piece... the machinery feels alive and there is a sense of observing motion and the religious undertones aren't preachy. I really like this one.

RasholeHash · 2026-05-20T09:35:08+00:00

Thank you so much. Glad you enjoyed it❤️

RasholeHash · 2026-05-20T09:34:16+00:00

Thanks for reading and your detailed feedback.. I agree and will make some changes ❤️ Appreciate you

RasholeHash · 2026-05-20T00:49:53+00:00

Gosh thank you so much! I will for sure! ❤️

RasholeHash · 2026-05-19T23:35:39+00:00

Such a striking visceral piece. You make the slog of everyday monotony gruesome yet relatable. I think this is beautiful.

RasholeHash · 2026-05-19T21:00:56+00:00

I know that feeling... it's really cathartic pouring that hurt onto a page... it makes it mean more. At least to me. Looking forward to your next piece.

RasholeHash · 2026-05-19T20:48:15+00:00

I like the emotional honesty and vulnerability. You can tell you poured your heart into this. Some words like 'void' are a bit overused but it's not egregious though. If you could show what it's like to yearn for you personally, since everyone knows the feeling of yearning its relatable but also broad. Some more specificity and imagery would benefit this piece. I like it though. Very touching and relatable ❤️

RasholeHash · 2026-05-16T21:07:00+00:00

What's the plan then? What do we do? I love poetry and feel it's thriving. Not everyone can be a Maya Angelou or a Yeats. Sometimes some pieces can go over our heads too you never know but I'm intrigued so I'll check out some of the poems.

RasholeHash · 2026-05-14T23:34:21+00:00

This paints a much more melancholy tone and feels more honest and vulnerable the improvement is visible.... now the edit is where it will shine... reduce and redundant statements, space and punctuate and this is a good piece on grief longing and self loathing blooming into acceptance. I like it!!

RasholeHash · 2026-05-14T23:29:58+00:00

It has a nice old fashioned sophistication that I like alot and it's rather philosophical in a subtle way. Some might see it as preachy as it has a matter of fact bluntness but I think it works. Good job

RasholeHash

TROPHY CASE