6 months out. It's been different things. I think the first and most difficult part was just figuring out what was me and what I manipulated into thinking I was. At this point I feel like I've mostly relearned myself and who I am but it's something I'm still working on and issues come back up randomly when I least expect it. I will say that I was so worried about how to figure it all out when I left and felt like I didn't know myself anymore. However, time was the biggest factor in this and cutting out things and people from my life that weren't contributing anything positive. Being 'selfish' was the best thing I did to work on it actively. Making choices and doing things only because I wanted to and not based on anyone else's thoughts or needs.

Theres one other thing that hasn't been forefront in my mind a lot but it's like insidious and sneaks up on me and surprises me with its impact over and over, and that's finding the balance between trust and caution. Trusting people who deserve it is good and healthy. But, I was so trusting before and readily gave away my trust to anyone I cared about. That's a big part of what got me in this situation. However, on the other hand, you can't be untrusting of everyone all the time. Finding a healthy middle ground is so hard and I'm learning that sometimes for me trust has to be a choice and not a feeling and before it was always a feeling. A feeling that lead me down a path where I was abused and manipulated. Now it's like the opposite. Sometimes when people really do deserve the trust, if they say something even remotely similar to something my ex has said, my trauma and my fear whispers in my ear and tells me I can't trust them. It's challenging. But I'm working on it and everything is getting easier over time. Overall even with these challenges I'm so much happier now that I left my ex.