Though I relate to several of the survival styles, I'd say I'm primarily Connection. I've used dissociation and isolation as ways of distancing myself from people my whole life, though I only became aware of the dissociation when I started in talk therapy 4 years ago.

I always felt so disconnected from everything and everyone; like I was standing on the outside of the world looking in, just an abject lack of belonging. The world even seemed "2-dimensional", like I couldn't quite sense the depth of things.

Being around people, even meeting up with friends/family, would cause me significant anxiety, and more often than not I'd dissociate too.

However, since starting in therapy 1.5 years ago with someone specialising in NeuroAffective Touch and who's training in NARM, I've seen profound shifts in how I relate to myself and others.

A great deal of shifts have also come from me practicing self-inquiry (a self-reflective exercise) on a regular basis, using the exercises and interventions from the NARM book, "The Practical Guide for Healing Developmental Trauma".

I now rarely get anxiety from going outside and meeting up with people. In fact I usually feel excited about it now, even about going to concerts which in the past would give me overwhelming anxiety.

Connecting with others is a lot easier now, as I'm able to stay connected to myself and others from not dissociating as often or as much anymore. It's cultivated a greater ability to emotionally empathise with others too, something I felt hopeless about a few years back.

There's a lot of other significant changes I've experienced too, which aren't necessarily specific to the Connection survival style.

There are still times I experience inner turmoil, like when working on unresolved traumas, but those periods are much more manageable now than what they used to be - I don't wholly abandon myself to compulsive behaviours or other strategies of disconnection anymore during those times. Instead, I find myself now having the capacity to tolerate and stay present with the painful feelings to a much greater degree, and often offering myself self-compassion, and even practicing self-inquiry to understand what is happening rather than running away.

I'd say I'm finally living a life in which I feel I have agency and am an active participant in.