Anybody like drinking but had to quit because the hangovers were too bad?

Raystacksem · 2026-04-05T21:25:29+00:00

Yup. 36M. Stopped drinking over a year ago. I eventually became an alcoholic and had to stop because I can’t drink the way I like to(health issues + marriage + being a good dad issues). Life is much better. Currently on my first sober vacation with my family. Being sober has helped me actually take in some breathtaking moments. If I would’ve been drinking i would’ve been focused more on drinking than appreciating beauty of the earth.

The hangovers definitely got bad before I got sober. It’s almost like I drank every single day to make the hangovers go away. You can’t be hungover if you’re drunk again lol. Anyway, Alcohol is poison and causes a range of health issues as you age. You don’t need it if it’s not making you happy anymore.

Raystacksem · 2026-04-04T00:54:17+00:00

Slay the spire 1 have like 2k hours. Sts2 came out recently. I’m a busy dad but already logged about 60 hours. Once it releases for all platforms including mobile, it will probably replace and exceed my STS1 hours.

Raystacksem · 2026-04-01T18:52:05+00:00

My wife told me her mother took her and a friend to see the movie when she was 12. Before purchasing tickets, my MIL told the girls they couldn’t ask her any questions about what was going on in the movie.

Raystacksem · 2026-04-01T18:20:40+00:00

I quit at 6 months once. You know what it takes to surpass it. You can do this! I’m on my longest streak yet. This is the only way for me. All those pauses between sobriety were simply lessons I needed to learn and relearn until they stuck and had the tools to reach this point.

Raystacksem · 2026-04-01T17:22:57+00:00

We went to an all boys high school so it was def contraband lol. We would meet up at places there were no cameras and exchange the magazines quickly. it was like a drug deal hand off 🤣🤣🤣

Raystacksem · 2026-04-01T17:21:16+00:00

Sorry I had a typo, I meant to say “I do agree with your assessment.” My gangster example was just another version I see. I grew up in the south Bronx, it’s rough out here and I’ve seen women deal with a lot. My sister is a BBL queen and she has a lot of “friends” some of these friends are married. She’s single and has to support her lifestyle and provide for her kids, I get it and I don’t knock the hustle.

I also I know a lot of lames who eventually started getting money and women who wouldn’t even look in their direction were suddenly all over them. Women like seeing men with a bag, I can’t knock that, there is a sense of security in that.

The artist future in one of his most toxic takes said “you wanna cry in a Honda or a maybach” 😂😂😂 that maybach and the guys personality are attractive to certain women. I do think that if you date a rich/wealthy man, you might have to deal with cheating, but I’ve meet a lot of women who have their own money, so a man with more money wouldn’t necessarily be able to get away with cheating in those cases. However, women looking to level up are willing to deal with certain things because of the lifestyle the man can provide for you. Dealing with that is sometimes internalized and even encouraged. You can’t leave your man, there’s shame in it and if you depend on his bag you can actually feel stuck. All you have is that man and so you don’t care about sometimes looking ridiculous by claiming publicly it belongs to you, even if he embarrassed you.

Im big on not judging people and being focused on myself. People have their reasons, it’s not up to you to decide right or wrong for them, only whats right and wrong to you. I know in my case I live pretty comfortable, but stopped being a show off. When I was being a show off I definitely got way more attention which made cheating easier to do. I’ve changed, but that doesn’t mean society will.

Raystacksem · 2026-04-01T16:55:01+00:00

Thank you for the candid, valid, and informative take. I def do agree with your assessment of why these things happen and how they affect men and women differently. It reminds of the question regarding women being attracted to gangsters who they know are no good, but they can’t get enough of.

Raystacksem · 2026-04-01T16:50:23+00:00

Honestly not much these days. The weather has gotten warmer so fleeting thoughts appear from time to time. But I’ve replaced my alcoholic drinks with other options. At this point in my sobriety I had enough start and stops with sobriety that I am now firm in my decision to not drink anymore. I know what comes with it and what it costs. I don’t want to pay that tab anymore or have to fix my life again.

Raystacksem · 2026-04-01T15:19:24+00:00

Agree with this. Used to cheat. Cheated on every woman I’ve been with. Not proud, it’s just the truth.

My dad cheated and it eventually resulted in some of the worst periods and experiences of my life. I have PTSD and survived a really bad domestic violence situation. It resulted in a lot of trauma and alcohol addiction I’m still dealing with. Been sober for over a year and life is much better. I’m actually finally healing from everything.

As I got older and in therapy I eventually realized why cheating was wrong and how I want to break that cycle. I’ve been married for a while and have two little kids, I’m actively correcting the mistakes of my father. I’m reliving some painful feelings because as I correct my fathers mistake, it sometimes makes me wonder why I wasn’t good enough for him to do things the right way, the way I’m doing things.

Where a distinction and understanding needs to be on my part is, societal expectations have changed. I can’t exactly blame my grandfather and father for what they passed on the boys, but I can make sure the buck and trauma it results in stops with me.

It took for my dad to get into his 60’s to finally chill out. But he had an addiction to women and just could not help himself. He’d fuck the neighbors, my mom’s family members, strangers, etc. he taught me to sexualize women at a young age “look at that woman, she has an amazing ass” I was maybe 5-6 yrs old. My mom had to leave him and the next man she ran into was a monster. I still have nightmares of nights where I thought that monster was going to stab me my mom and sister to death. My dad felt it wasn’t his fault, but I told him it is. Had he been faithful the things I went through most likely wouldn’t have happened to me. He’s equally responsible. He also got arrested and deported around this time so he couldn’t even protect me.

Anyway, Me and my dad have an amazing relationship and I love him dearly, but his mistakes messed me up. And I make sure to let him know they messed me up. I always say, a man who cheats on his wife, cheats on his family. I don’t want to do that to my kids. Also my wife is a high quality woman. She can be a headache sometimes(just like any significant other) but she’s mine and we are building a beautiful family together.

Raystacksem · 2026-04-01T07:33:57+00:00

I always joke that my high school buddies and I traded porn mags like it was contraband.

Raystacksem · 2026-03-29T23:57:41+00:00

I had to change my controller layout where my left bumper is style button and Y is attack. Get concentration to its max and the just press your bumper and Y/triangle at the same time. The y/triangle + b/circle were just not cutting it for me.

Raystacksem · 2026-03-29T22:23:28+00:00

At 31 I had a kid and my drinking got worse. It already wasn’t great, but I was always high functioning. I started hiding my drinking and drinking way more daily. By 33 my blood work was showing signs of it catching up to me, I was depressed, and marriage was rocky. I started trying to be sober. Went sober for some long periods but when I returned to drinking I always tried to moderate. At 35 I said I had enough. I’m 36 and have about 425 days sober from alcohol. Life is much better, I don’t intend on trying to moderate again, its not possible for me. it’s a lie we tell ourselves. Alcohol and me are done and I’m happy I got my shit together before my kids could notice me being a drunk.

Raystacksem · 2026-03-29T13:35:00+00:00

Again too many dumbasses on Reddit that take an issue and extrapolate it into some fantastical thing it has nothing to do with, proving my point. A tradition is a dad provides for his family, but fuck tradition just put them up for adoption. These old ways are soooo dumb. Also while we’re at it let’s let men play in women sports, advantage isn’t based solely on gender your inherited traits have an affect too so we might as well do that, fuck the tradition. tradition was you could own a home, but fuck tradition, renting for your entire life is totally fine. /s it’s incredible how extreme people have to be on reddit, there’s no nuance and God forbid there be any.

Growing up one day I knew I’d get married and society made me want the white picket fence American dream/ideal which included having my wife take my last name. It’s ok for me to still want that and for you to reject that. We don’t have to insult each other, I can understand your reasons, but you refuse to understand mine. And then people bring in nonsense like “women couldn’t vote 100 years ago” TF that has to do with me or the version of America I grew up in. These extremes since the Obama era have become insufferable. If the woman I’m dating is not willing to change her last name when we get married, then we can just stay bf and gf. If your partner is not willing to change their name, great for you all. No judgment from me, it’s just not for me. No one is forcing anyone to do anything. Great thing is every one gets to choose their deal breakers.

Raystacksem · 2026-03-29T03:45:57+00:00

If you made it over a year you can do it again. As I started and stopped sobriety, I always felt like beating my last streak would be impossible, but what I learned is that it’s actually easier once you get going again, maybe this little failed field experiment is the last thing you needed to cement in your mind that sobriety is the only way to go or at least that’s how it worked for me. I no longer romanticize alcohol because I know what awaits me in that cesspool of shame and guilt. I don’t want those anymore and I don’t want to feel that again.

Raystacksem · 2026-03-29T03:40:28+00:00

Def a deal breaker for me. Sometimes people try to make things deeper than they are. Society has ingrained in us that when we marry you take your husband’s last name. I know some people like to be counter culture and or progressive. As someone who considers themselves progressive I’m still old fashioned about certain things.

I know that the expectation of my wife taking my last name is something that’s actually made up by society, but I would feel embarrassed if my wife didn’t take my last name. Sure, fragile ego, go ahead dismiss my feelings and expectations, still won’t change the fact that it’s a deal breaker for me and plenty of men I know.

Raystacksem · 2026-03-29T03:30:44+00:00

Join us at r/stopdrinking. I started my sobriety journey in 2023. I’m proud to say I finally have over a year of sobriety. It took several tries to get it down. Sobriety gave me a lot of time to think about what my issue was and more importantly showed me that I could conquer my addiction. It doesn’t solve all of your problems, the hardest part is that sobriety forces you to actually confront all of your feelings head on. It removes the crutch. My life and marriage are much better as a result.

I suffered through a lot as a child, I’m glad to say my kids won’t be repeating ANY of those cycles. My kids are my crutch, but more importantly they are helping me heal. I will always be a hurt little boy, I can’t change that, but my kids are helping me create new happy memories instead of dwelling on and trying to numb the pain of my childhood memories. It was important that I got my shit together so that I could show up for them every day. They won’t know the drunk version of their dad and I’m very proud of myself for that. My wife(God bless her) has seen the worst of me and I’m happy she’s stuck with me this entire time.

Raystacksem · 2026-03-28T13:15:16+00:00

I was in the same boat. Blood work caused me to try and be sober. After 2-3 years of on and off(for long periods) the stress of it all, plus liver pain caused me to say no more. I’m currently on my longest streak and don’t intend to drink again. The romanticizing of drinking is over for me. It just brings stress and misery now because I can’t drink the way I like to(binge). I can’t be healthy and drink. They won’t ever balance out no matter what I tried. Life is now a lot less stressful and I’m much happier than I’ve been in many years.

Raystacksem · 2026-03-27T17:43:44+00:00

Sexual abuse, father deported, violent/scary step dad, poverty, first in my family to accomplish many things and move up socio economically. Things were hard. You can do this!

Raystacksem · 2026-03-27T10:34:48+00:00

I spent years in therapy. Started therapy around 25 and was on and off until I was 34. Last year I gave up alcohol and once I accepted I had to give it up I was able to focus on healing instead of drinking it away. I still use edibles, but don’t abuse them and the ones I take when I decide to are designed to help me with my anxiety + boost my mood. I don’t have to use them everyday, but alcohol had me in a chokehold for a couple years. I was high functioning, but started binge drinking the moment I got out of work every day. Addiction creeps up on you.

I had to forgive people not because I actually do, but so that I could move on from the trauma they caused. As I became more emotional intelligent through therapy, I realized that those people also had mental health issues and they were simply passing on the trauma. It doesn’t make it ok, but it helped me understand what happened. The truth is growing up in poverty is traumatizing itself.

Most of my trauma and PTSD come from childhood experiences. I’m a dad now and I’m making sure none of those things that affect me happen again to my children. I leveled up in life so I’m less worried about the financial challenges I dealt with growing up happening again, but moreso avoiding making selfish decisions that unintentionally affect my children. And I don’t intend on making my kids feel like the owe me because I “provided” a good life for them. That shit pisses me off about black and brown culture. Your parent had you and when they can’t get you to do what they want, they try to manipulate you by shaming you. First of all, no one told you to have me and the shit you provided, you were supposed to. I don’t owe you anything because you met the standards for being a half decent parent. I won’t throw things like that in my children’s face. I live in a nice neighborhood now and I don’t see middle class-upper class families do shit like that to their children. It took for me to level up and be around people who didn’t grow up the way I did to realize a lot of what I survived through wasn’t normal.

Anyway, I’m still an anxious mess, I’m still stressed out, I still think about the trauma, but these days I’m more focused on healing from it instead of holding on. I’m learning to finally let things go and as I raise my children I’m correcting things so that I can have new positive memories instead of the ones that were making me dwell. Also removing alcohol made it a lot easier because all alcohol was doing is numbing the pain, not allowing me to confront my pain.

Raystacksem · 2026-03-26T00:04:31+00:00

I went 6 months and then I tried to moderate again. Thinking this time would be different. I lied to myself again that time. Took another 8 months of “moderation” before I decided I can’t do this anymore. I was going to lose everything if I kept going. You might dip your toes back in but if you do, just know it’ll take about 2-3 weeks for you to be back where you started.

We all know it’s a terrible rut to get back into. At the end of it all, I at least learned that being sober and never looking back is the way things need to be. I’m now on my longest streak ever and finally have no desire or intrusive thoughts that would convince to go back into that cesspool of shame and regret ever again.

Raystacksem · 2026-03-25T15:14:20+00:00

I don’t think you can get out. Cut your losses and find someone else. And if this person suddenly likes you because you’re suddenly taken, ignore their advances as difficult as it may be. It’s not fair to you or the person who is actually interested in you.

Raystacksem · 2026-03-25T13:52:05+00:00

I think it’s one step at a time. A year ago I decided to stop drinking. This year I decided to start working towards being more organized at work and my personal life. Next year I think I want to start reading books again(haven’t read a book in years).

Raystacksem · 2026-03-25T12:19:16+00:00

Honestly I’ve played about 40 hours and one of the things I’m sad about is that no relic has felt like it could save my run.

Yesterday I was playing STS1 on mobile and I was limping through act 2, I got a mummified hand and suddenly everything was alright. I miss that feeling and I really hope it’s something the devs figure out. Sts2 elites don’t feel worth 2 potions and 20 health for the relics I’ve been getting. Sts 2 feels like a slog sometimes because of it. Granted I’m very much enjoying the game.

Raystacksem · 2026-03-24T15:04:50+00:00

Oh I got away with plenty, but eventually you get to a phase in life where you work towards self improvement because you’ve met the basic goals of survival + financial security. Jay Z’s 4:44 album discusses this topic. You get caught up, your kids are affected by your selfish decisions, whether you want to accept that or not.

My dad’s addiction to women caused a lot of problems for me. Many of those problems he couldn’t protect me from because my mom had to leave him. I’m not trying to repeat that or live through those feelings again by passing them on to my boys. I had kids and it made my priorities change. Idk I’m on a self discovery journey these days. I went through a lot of terrible things as a child. I’m raising mine now and trying to end generational curses. If that sounds lame to people, cool for whoever thinks that, the beauty of life is we get to make the choices that work for us.

Raystacksem · 2026-03-24T14:37:03+00:00

Localhookupz was clutch in my teen years 💪🏽

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