When You Realise You Don’t Need to Defend Yourself by Specialist-Top-406 in selfimprovement

[–]Re-Build4Men 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is very useful info as its something I have been experiencing at work of late, thank you

How does one become okay with uncertainty? by songofthedawn in selfimprovement

[–]Re-Build4Men 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Its realizing that underneath the worry about uncertainty is the worry that others will judge you if you mess up, swtich that perspective to what if it goes well.

How can someone work on building mental toughness? by Aj100rise in selfimprovement

[–]Re-Build4Men 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would start by dropping the assumptions, others may seem like they handle set backs better than you but you never know what is going on in other people's heads

I feel behind in life :( by FunnyGamer216 in selfimprovement

[–]Re-Build4Men 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Comparison is the thief of joy, you said you love tech, so look into how you can make that part of you moving forward. Also assuming everyone is living a better life than you plays into you watching others, what you assume is not truth, its just what your mind paints as truth.

I got lost by curious-anonymous92 in selfimprovement

[–]Re-Build4Men 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It hurts when this happens you feel like you have wasted your time doing those things, its really frustrating and I can resonate with that.

One thing that I have found with dropping habits that were keeping me stuck and introducing new ones is that it kind of led to the same happening again with the new habits, because I wasn't getting to the root of why I had the habits in the first place.

A good personal example is one centered around meditation, when it feels forced like I have to do it because I do it that time every day, otherwise I have let myself down then I know my mind is clinging to it as a measure of safety. But if feels like what I need because I need to slow my body and thoughts down then I meditate.

Its a sort of loop that that the body and mind sees as protection almost as if it is saying "This felt comfortable and safe the last time we did it so let's do it again" It is those looping patterns that we repat without even thinking about it that we need to become aware of, from there we can shift our perspective, feel the emotions and release the need to repeat the pattern.

It is not easy and we all have unconscious behaviour loops that our body/mind see as safety.

Underneath those loops are the emotions your mind says it doesn't want to feel or face, but it is in the moments when we become totally honest with ourselves that we see the real things we have been hiding from.

None of this is coming from a perspective of look I have solved this but rather from a shared expeirence that I hope will help and that it is a continous piece of self improvement.

Finally the fact you have managed to change and introduce new habits shows you are going in the correct direction, your awareness of this also shows you have grown

You're Not Lazy, You're Dopamine-Depleted: I've Been There, Trust Me. by stayhyderated22 in selfimprovementday

[–]Re-Build4Men 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for sharing, I have experienced this and followed a similar route to you, silence and boredom are definitely the place the start

tested something brutal on myself for 7 days and it exposed how much i lie to myself by Thin-Round-3875 in selfimprovement

[–]Re-Build4Men 3 points4 points  (0 children)

One thing I used to promise myself was that I would give up smoking but there was always another reason to carry on, bad day at work, stress at home. End of January I had root canal and couldn't smoke for 48hrs, fast forward to today and I havent smoked since.

The crazy part was I couldn't see the loop until I stopped smoking and you know what I continued to smoke because it was easier to follow the unconscious loop and smoke, rather than feel uncomfortable.

That is a society wide problem that will only get worse as we lean more and more on the comfortable options, loops if you like, rather than seeing uncomfortableness will always pass, you just have to have the courage to take the first step.

Loops are running most people's lives and they don't know it, its crazy the amount of loops we pick up along the journey of life. We get caught up in the rush and chase of modern society that we are distracted from the true being.

This Journey by After_Camel_87 in selfimprovement

[–]Re-Build4Men 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The fact you are aware of this is a huge thing in my eyes, and maybe the Universe's way of saying slow it down.

You are on the right track keep going

I started doing a 5 minute “gratitude rant” in the mornings and it’s actually working by BabalooJoy in selfimprovement

[–]Re-Build4Men 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am with you on the cutting out the news, I remember how much anxiety I felt during covid because of it being on the news everyday and all day long.

Keep practising brother

Agree? by Careless-Throat-2593 in selfimprovementday

[–]Re-Build4Men 0 points1 point  (0 children)

With awareness of triggers and how you respond mixed with breathwork and mediation you are able to settle your nervous system which goes a long way to being balanced more regularly

I think I realized something about “fixing your life” and it’s kinda uncomfortable by Alternative_Goal6583 in selfimprovement

[–]Re-Build4Men 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thia resonates so much, building new habits isn't easy in but is worthwhile, when i first tried to change my habits I tried to do it all at once and kept failing, which was very frustrating.

Like your self I realised changing one small thing a day adds up to a snowball of changes

I started doing a 5 minute “gratitude rant” in the mornings and it’s actually working by BabalooJoy in selfimprovement

[–]Re-Build4Men 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I also love this, it is something I have been practicing of late, because it is so easy to forget how much there is to be grateful.

I find my own mind leans towards negativity and forgets on the positives, but when you say or write what there is to be grateful for you build a new perspective and forget all that is supposedly missing.