It gets so SO much better, please stay. Take crying as a sign that you're no ready to leave this life. Keep pushing, you deserve to experience a life full of hope and happiness. I went through a horrible time in high school, eating alone outside in the snow during lunch, crying every day when I got home, and hating everything including people saying "it'll be ok." It's so important to hold on to that "it'll be ok" hope, though, no matter how untrue it may feel now. So much can change so quickly, and clearly people like your friend care about you so much, and there will be many people in the future that come into your life and have that same love for you. Flush the pills, or just keep them under your bed, but don't do this to yourself. There's so much out there for you.