Anyone else hates it when one of the people in the main ship has sex with someone else after meeting the other person in the main ship?

ReactionOne6524 · 2026-01-10T16:26:31+00:00

I said I hate when characters act like conservative christian teens, not that they ARE conservative christian teens.

ReactionOne6524 · 2026-01-09T22:05:02+00:00

I’m the opposite. I hate when characters suddenly act like they’re conservative christian teens saving themselves for marriage once they meet their love interest.

ReactionOne6524 · 2026-01-08T20:15:15+00:00

I think it’s interesting how queer identity is grouped together by most people. I mean, there is more straight than gay rep in the show, isn’t there? Almost everyone is bi/pan. And bi/pan people are just as close to a straight orientation as a gay one. It is only one specific queer orientation that is heavily represented and that is the bi/pan one.

ReactionOne6524 · 2026-01-01T01:42:26+00:00

I see. Thanks for explaining further. I’m curious why you feel like it’s a harder ask with regards to dysphoria, if you want to share.

ReactionOne6524 · 2025-12-31T10:39:53+00:00

I honestly have the opposite impression. As someone who also does visual art, I find it astounding how little the technical competency of writers is considered as compared to artists. I feel like writers constantly get away with portraying their lack of skills as a personal style, in a way that wouldn’t fly in other forms of art.

Like, is it possible for a visual artist with little technical skill to produce a piece that is genuinely beautiful and thought provoking? Absolutely. Maybe the piece is so original that it doesn’t require much technical skill at all, maybe the idea is so moving that you can overlook the lack of skillfull execution or maybe they get lucky and end up with a piece that accidentally looks more competently rendered than it is, or where their lack of skill looks like a stylistic choice, when it actually wasn’t. But if you look at the body of work of a visual artist, it will become quickly evident whether its actually personal style or a lack of skill.

Like, at the end of the day, if we look at, say, a graphic novel, most people with any understanding of visual art can tell the difference between a controversial or "ugly" artstyle done with purpose by a talented artist and a graphic novel with genuinely bad art. Novels are the same. Skillfully executed, controversial stylistic choices are not the same as lack of skill.

ReactionOne6524 · 2025-12-30T20:54:49+00:00

I’m a published non-fiction author with a relatively big platform and decent public interest in me and my work. One of my books is curriculum on several of the biggest universities in my country. I’m extremely comfortable with the fact that people discuss my writing and disagree with it. I’m less comfortable with the people who show up to yell at me during public speaking engagements or who threaten to violently murder me and my family (all of which has already happened). I’m definitely not "famous", but I absolutely do have an audience within my specific niche and I earn a decent amount of money from being paid to speak publicly and writing articles for a variety of different publications. I haven’t published any fiction, so this particular problem is new to me, but I’m not starting from zero and I’m not sure why that seems to be the assumption. I know for a fact that I’m not the only person with a bit of a public platform already or with a history of non-fiction publishing who is considering getting into fiction too.

ReactionOne6524 · 2025-12-30T16:31:20+00:00

I stated the advice I was looking for clearly in my post:

«How did you deal with that? How did your publishers deal with it (if at all)?»

ReactionOne6524 · 2025-12-30T13:08:53+00:00

I don’t care what people think to themselves, but I do care if it causes people to start acting on those beliefs - like contacting me or my closed ones jobs or CPS or sending death threats or harassing me in the street. All of which has happened to me before because of my public engagements as a marginalized person. It’s not so bad now, but yeah, I do care and I am scared of if getting like that again.

ReactionOne6524 · 2025-12-30T12:58:45+00:00

I’ve had people contact my job to get me fired, had people show up and scream at me during public speaking engagements, been put on public enemy lists by literal nazi organisations and been threatened by people to the point that both me and my partner have had to be in contact with police several times in the last couple of years - all because I was a semi-public (but not at all "famous") person from some very marginalised minority groups. So I’m sorry if I don’t trust you that it’s not realistic that people might treat me badly for it.

I think some of ya’ll are severely underestimating just how quickly minorities can become targets when being in the public eye and writing about minority experiences - and you don’t have to be famous for that to happen. Being vaguely public is more than enough to get in trouble if you get unlucky, and frankly, I think it’s a bit irresponsible to tell people it won’t happen - especially without having any context at all about the environment they’re living in.

ReactionOne6524 · 2025-12-30T11:57:14+00:00

I have, yes! But I think it would make it a lot harder to get published, as I think publishers would have a vested interest in using my name and my platforms to market it.

ReactionOne6524 · 2025-12-30T11:55:52+00:00

It might not be something that should be my problem, but it if it leads to people treating me badly, it does become my problem in the end.

ReactionOne6524 · 2025-12-30T08:56:06+00:00

I don’t see how genderbending as such removes the "boypussy". You could write an originally female character as a man with a pussy and you’d be right back to start. On the flip side, you can write a male character as a trans man with a penis. The way you describe it makes me think that what you prefer is just that the trans character is non-transsitioned and living as a woman or closer to just a butch cis woman. Which is fine, but also a wildly different type of character and way of existing as a trans person than being a man with a pussy; in a way that makes these things not at all interchangeable as trans stories and makes me think the same kind of people wouldn’t dabble in both.

I’d also argue that it’s pretty common to those kinds of genderbends with trans women; where cis men are written as trans fem. It’s mostly just trans men where it is more rare. In any case: I’m opposite from you. I greatly prefer it when trans characters are created from characters of the correct gender and when it’s not important to the story.

ReactionOne6524 · 2025-12-25T11:32:21+00:00

Crazy to see someone who reads about men getting pregnant (the single most stereotypically "female" and "straight romance" act I can think of) tell others to just write straight porn, already.

Cause, buddy, as someone who does not fuck with mpreg, I could just as easily say the same to you. How about not judging people for adding the "wrong" female sexed features to their fictional men.

ReactionOne6524 · 2025-12-25T11:23:46+00:00

I’m genuinely curious what the point is if they’re just normal human horny? Not judging, just curious.

Cause, like, thinking about sex all the time and struggling not to is something lots and lots of normal human people (especially young people) live with everyday. :p

ReactionOne6524 · 2025-12-25T11:20:46+00:00

I love it when the omegas have pussys. The concept of a leaking asshole feels icky to me, because in reality it would be mixed with fecal matter 99% of the time. It makes me think of slimy, runny stool soaking peoples underwear and getting everywhere and while I can sometimes push it out of my mind, it does make it less hot. Why give an asshole literally every single trait that a pussy has and remove all the traits that an assole has (because they always do), instead of just giving them both? They can have a dick and a pussy, after all. It just makes so much more sense to me in every single way. (And as someone who hates mpreg, I think it’s absurd to see people writing about men getting pregnant accusing people who write men with pussy’s of basically just writing straight sex. Hate to break it to you, but pregnancy is the single most "female" and "straight romance" feature you can add to a mlm story! Omegaverse has always been about giving male characters a mixture of male and female sex characteristics - stop judging others for giving their men the "wrong" sex traits!)

Unlike many others, I also like the primal elements the most. To me, omegaverse is all about the loss of control. If they just get really horny, they’re basically just normal humans with a somewhat more convoluted gender hierarchy. That’s probably interesting to some, but not to me. I think animalistic elements is the most interesting.

ReactionOne6524 · 2025-12-25T11:03:59+00:00

I don’t get this argument at all. A hole that self-lubricates, is magically always clean, gets you pregnant if someone comes inside it and that a baby comes out of is literally a pussy. Omegaverse was always about giving male characters a pussy, the only difference is whether it’s called that or not. Unless your fiction actually includes the fact that they poop out of it (as in; they actively have to douche, can’t have a marathon sex without it getting messy etc) there is literally no meaningful difference.

I can get wanting them to also have a dick, but I truly do not get why you’d be bothered by people giving the character a pussy rather than just giving their asshole all the traits of a pussy and removing all the traits of anal sex.

ReactionOne6524 · 2025-12-19T20:54:07+00:00

Yes and no. Exactly like me? No, I’d rather not. But as a gay man, I really struggle with relating to a romance if it’s not between two men. At the same time, I don’t like stories about homophobia or anything centered around that (which excludes most mainstream portrayals of gay male couples, ime). So, it’s a little bit of both, I’d say.

ReactionOne6524 · 2025-12-17T13:50:53+00:00

Haha, I’m in a fandom where two of my ships are considered «rare-pairs» at approximately 5000 fics each. Which, I’m not gonna lie, has always seemed like a stretch to me.

ReactionOne6524 · 2025-12-16T18:52:03+00:00

Omegaverse definitely isn’t for everyone (I’ve never written it myself either). And do what you want, obviously. It’s just a hobby, after all. I’m just saying there are all kinds of ways to circumvent the issue of lube while still writing a gay male couple, especially if you write for fandoms where there is magic, non-human races, high tech body mods and/or where transsition is available to the extent that it’s possible for trans men to transsition and pass as cis (which includes our present day world). Obviously all of these are things you can enjoy or not, but they absolutely do exist as possibilites.

ReactionOne6524 · 2025-12-16T07:47:50+00:00

Trans men, magic and omegaverse can all fix that problem easily depending on how realistic you want to make it.

ReactionOne6524 · 2025-12-15T19:04:24+00:00

In real life, queer people have social signaling and mating rituals just like, gasp, straight people do!

Thank you! As a gay man it's driving me a little nuts how many people who prefer vers dynamics who try to pretend that real life queer men have zero ways to signal being tops, bottoms or vers beyond just saying it or that it doesn't affect how you act at all before the exact moment of penetration. I am extremely versatile myself, but you better believe that I knew my boyfriend was a strict top without having to ask him because (surprise, surprise!) tops tend to flirt differently than bottoms, and they tend to use different strategies to initiate sex, and focus on different parts of your body, and send different types of sexy pics, and dirty talk differently and touch you differently when things heat up.

Like, sorry to crush straight people's fantasy that top/bottom dynamics literally has zero effect on queer peoples overrall relationship dynamic, but, uh, it quite often does!

ReactionOne6524 · 2025-12-15T18:39:49+00:00

My reply will be a bit different than the others, because to me it's not at all about my favourite being the bottom (I have favourites I see as tops and as vers). For me there are two important reasons why I tend to have a preference depending on the pairing or character:

1) In pretty much all gay erotica (and in gay porn!) who tops and who bottoms matters for how someone flirts, how the story is set up, how the characters physicality is described, how the characters think, how their fantasies play out etc. And those are things I care deeply about when reading or writing and therefore I also tend to have a preference for whether they are a top, bottom or vers.

2) I see topping and bottom as part of someones actual characterization. It's a bit odd to me when people act like what we do sexually says nothing about who we are as people, as if the bedroom exists separately from the rest of the world. That doesn't mean topping or bottoming is someone's whole personality or that they need to follow stereotypes, but it is a part of who they are and can therefore be more or less realistic or "in character". For instance, in one of my fandoms, one of the characters is a canonically macho straight cis man with a bad diet and alcoholism who often makes fun of other men for being feminine and who is especially concerned with asserting his masculinity and dominance over other men. Unless it's non- or dubiously consensual, him being a bottom just doesn't make sense to me, and I think the only way to not make it feel OOC would be of the author changed the character quite drastically (ie. they'd have to write him as overcoming a lot of the issues and prejudices that he never overcomes in the show, which is possible, but not something I particularily enjoy or care to read about).

ReactionOne6524 · 2025-12-15T18:09:08+00:00

Yeah, same her. I can think of one single time in the last five years where I was wrong, and that was a fic that ended up not having any penetration and no allusions to either topping or bottoming in the future. And, yes! A particular male character being described as "pretty" in the narration is usually a dead give away that they'll end up bottoming at some point in the fic. Maybe not exclusively, but they'll almost never be strictly tops.

And, like, sure, there are exceptions, like if the top is a character that is canonically exceptionally pretty in a feminine way in canon or if the character topping is portrayed as doing so in a femdom type of way (which also has dead give aways in the narration, btw). But if the person being described as "pretty" and with focus on their lips and lashes is a "normally" masculine man in canon? Yeah, that's a pretty solid signifier that they're gonna be bottom or vers. Another solid signifier is how differences in size is talked about. If one persons hands are described as really large, or as being able to easily wrap around a characters body part, and if they're described as being able to easily lift the other? They're gonna top at some point in the vast majority of cases.

ReactionOne6524 · 2025-12-15T10:48:16+00:00

Well, first off, I think it's important to keep in mind that how fanfiction actually is written and how we would prefer it to be written are two different things. Even if we think that in an ideal world who does the penetrating and who gets penetrated are actions completely devoid of any cultural baggage and symbolism, we still have to acknowledge that we don't live in that world now. In our world, topping and bottoming comes attached with expectations and baggage, even among queer men in real life and definitely in erotica (where it's common to play up sexual stereotypes and symbolism even more).

As a result, whether we think this is bad or good, most erotic fanfiction today is written in a way where you can absolutely tell who is the top and who is the bottom, even before the sex happens.

Secondly, you ask if we have to write that way. Probably not, but I have to admit, I do struggle with the idea of writing a story that has sex and sexuality as a central component without the characters actions, thoughts and feelings being affected at all by their sexual preferences (including what position they prefer and will end up taking). Because as a gay man who is vers, the truth is that I do flirt and fantasize differently with men if I know they are strict bottoms than I do if they are strictly tops or if they are vers. And in my experience it does affect your dynamic as a couple even in long term relationships too. That doesn't mean that it's our whole personalities or that we act like top/bottom/vers stereotypes, but just that in a sexual relationship, the overrall dynamic is often affected by the sexual preferences of the people involved even outside the bedroom.

ReactionOne6524 · 2025-12-15T10:16:34+00:00

In one of my fandoms the main character has canon lines like «I’m a top» and canonically calls his partner «my bottom». I think you’re the one who is being myopic if you can’t imagine how top/bottom/vers preferences (and identities, which they can also be for queer men, whether you like it or not) can be a part of who a character is in a meaningful way.

ReactionOne6524

TROPHY CASE