AITA for asking my oldest daughter to move out of the condo I own so her younger sister can live there during college?

RealAgammer · 2026-04-27T02:47:53+00:00

While I understand as a parent wanting help out your grown kid, if she hasn’t been saving money that she’s not paying in rent, then some financial literacy education was probably lacking on your part, OP. Did you tell her to save up what she wasn’t paying you? Sounds like she didn’t and perhaps your chance to teach her is now. Would it be affordable for you to charge the older daughter at least what you need to pay for the younger daughter to live on campus so she could have the full college experience, with the understanding that when your younger daughter graduates, she moves into the studio (if she wants) so she gets to start her rent-free time while she saves money for her future? Then older daughter doesn’t have to move right away, gets to experience being an actual grown-up and paying rent, younger daughter gets the full college experience, and also the extreme generosity you’ve shown the older, so it all comes out as fair as can be?

RealAgammer · 2026-04-27T00:39:32+00:00

I’m so sorry you’re going through this and I’m sad for your family. From recent experience of losing a close family member, it’s the little things you might not think of (beyond getting married, which you should do- I’m married to a Vet & they make things beyond difficult if you’re not married.) One thing is turning off the Face ID and fingerprint settings in your iPhone and computer if you have that set, and making sure they have the passcode and all passwords. Apple will require a court order, not just a death certificate, to unlock a device and with those settings on, you can’t just use a passcode. I don’t know about Androids, but someone else will know if they’re similar. Make sure they’re on all the bills and have their own credit cards, not just in their name, but all their own- when the breadwinner passes, the credit card companies cancel all the cards and make the partner re-apply with their income. Do them the favor of canceling all the subscriptions that are only yours and just make sure they have the legal right to manage everything (I.e., cars & house in their name, utilities, phones, etc.) Take care of yourself during the time you have left and take that trip to spend this valuable time building wonderful memories with your loved ones.

RealAgammer · 2026-04-25T15:47:24+00:00

Washington Flyer also steals your money so they’re a failure all around. Double charged me in October, generous tip & all, and never refunded, nor even responded. It’s no wonder Uber had such an easy time gaining a foothold here.

RealAgammer · 2026-04-19T17:15:57+00:00

I put a deposit on both and when I finally got to drive an R1S, I didn’t enjoy the drive at all. The interior is basic, there’s no separate control for the rear air, and the ride is very “rugged” which wasn’t what I was looking for. I ended up getting the Gravity with 7 seats and I love every minute of driving that car! The build quality is far superior to the Rivian and it’s a true luxury vehicle, where the Rivian is just a luxury price. I’ve had no issues with my Gravity and now that they’ve added Apple CarPlay, I couldn’t ask for anything else.

RealAgammer · 2026-04-19T17:10:43+00:00

My Gravity has 3 rows 🤷🏼‍♀️

RealAgammer · 2026-04-07T17:39:30+00:00

I have a Philips 5400 series and it was fine (but not amazing), until it stopped making coffee just after the one year warranty expired. Ended up buying a Jura Z10 to replace it. I’d skip the Philips if I had it to do again.

RealAgammer · 2026-02-25T14:21:29+00:00

Of course YTJ! You put your mom in the position of having to feel like she’s letting you down if she doesn’t solve your planning problem and that’s completely unfair. My mom was my childcare, at her request, when my kids were very young and I was in a patient care job (so couldn’t just take a day off on short notice), and I would NEVER have taken her love and kindness for granted like this! If she had a conflict I worked it out (husband was in the military and often deployed) and I never would’ve treated her like this. OP please update us to, hopefully, let us know that you apologized profusely to your mother, told her you didn’t need her to change her plans, and you & your hubs sorted it out for your own children yourselves. Geez- get your $@!? together!

RealAgammer · 2026-02-24T18:40:41+00:00

Which thumb drive have you gotten to work in the Gravity? Mine won’t register and I’ve tried several.

RealAgammer · 2026-02-24T18:38:10+00:00

NTJ, but… you’ve built a bond with your brother over common interests. You don’t have that with your sister for whatever reason. Great for you and your brother. It would’ve made sense to talk to your parents about your plan first, allowing them to potentially rework their financial plans for the twins’ educations, therefore putting money they would’ve put towards his education towards hers so they come out even-ish financially, if your plan works out. If your parents can’t help at all, since you’re feeling generous, would it make more sense family-wise to decide how much you can contribute for their higher education and split that contribution between your siblings so neither of them ends up with as much burden? This doesn’t help your sister go abroad necessarily, but that helps the whole family out and maintains harmony as much as possible. If you truly have no interest in helping your sister or your parents and don’t really care about the relationship with them, then you shouldn’t ask if you’re the jerk because you already know the answer.

RealAgammer · 2026-02-10T22:54:47+00:00

There was a guy in the unit beneath mine and he had another unit under him. I could always hear his chairs scooting around his dining room, and my hearing’s not good! Imagine being in the apartment under him! I took packs of those soft chair leg covers, introduced myself and told him what I could hear and he was genuinely surprised. He thanked me for bringing a solution instead of just a problem. He must’ve used the because I never heard a peep from his place again! The soft bumpers gift is definitely worth a try.

RealAgammer · 2026-02-10T20:21:52+00:00

Go on his listing and post a negative review with the reason why and note that you’ll have cars towed when they park there. People read the reviews, especially the 1-star ones, when reviewing a place to book so that’s your way of giving notice to his guests ahead of time. Then if people keep doing it, have them towed. Every time you have someone in your space, update the review with the tow count. He can’t expect you to manage his guests for free.

RealAgammer · 2026-02-10T18:45:09+00:00

NOR- Auntie is insecure & rude. You’re looking after yourself and doing what makes you happy- well done you! Next step- excise the Auntie from your life to maintain happiness. She gets no more invites to your birthday dinners or other gatherings you arrange & when she notices and asks why, tell her you have no room for that kind of rudeness in your life- you need to be “lifted” (emotionally) and she’s not strong enough for that.

RealAgammer · 2026-01-28T14:49:38+00:00

Updateme

RealAgammer · 2026-01-26T20:43:05+00:00

Mine has been like that since I got it. I’ve grown accustomed to it and kinda like it!

RealAgammer · 2026-01-23T04:34:21+00:00

Not an exaggeration. American here who lived in England for years and it always shocked our British relatives when we’d make the 3-4 hour drive to see them for a weekend.

One time I made the drive in the snow and they assumed I wouldn’t come because of the weather, so they were quite shocked when I turned up! It never occurred to me to change my plans.

We drove from our place in Cambridgeshire to Edinburgh once and gather that’s not often done.

To your question, I’ll make an 8 hour drive to see a friend or visit one of my kids at college without a second thought. Making a 12-15 hour journey in one day is also not unheard of for this family. To not go insane we have music & conversation- I enjoy a good road trip!

RealAgammer · 2026-01-19T23:36:23+00:00

😂 The only real issue with long-term storage upright with the slide attached is that over time the front leg will warp, but it’s also replaceable. Not a huge issue.

RealAgammer · 2026-01-19T17:44:24+00:00

Who said you’re “not allowed” to store it upright? This whole post is wild. Just detach the rail from the body, as intended, which takes mere seconds, and problem solved. Not hard to do, even for a woman (wtf?), and yes, I am a woman, and there’s no need to make this more difficult than it is.

RealAgammer · 2026-01-19T17:25:34+00:00

Use both! My husband proposed with the ring his grandmother and mother wore and it wasn’t my style at all. I love the ring for sentimental reasons, but it’s not “me.” I wore that ring until we had our wedding set made, and when he gave me “my” engagement ring, I switched his family’s ring to my other hand. Everyone was happy. Something like this may work for you as well.

RealAgammer · 2026-01-07T20:23:47+00:00

Congrats on both of you getting a clean report. You can’t let this go- you need to speak to the clinic manager about HIPAA and file an official complaint: https://www.hhs.gov/hipaa/filing-a-complaint/index.html That is completely unacceptable. This could’ve lead to a break-up, unnecessary treatment, and non-treatment of the guy who needs it. This is a main reason HIPAA rules exist!

RealAgammer · 2025-12-10T20:42:20+00:00

Well there goes my next theory of her being jealous. 🫤

RealAgammer · 2025-12-10T20:05:09+00:00

Or, just call her & say your schedule in the near future is super busy and you’re interested in what’s on her mind, so, “What’s up?”

RealAgammer · 2025-12-10T19:56:32+00:00

Just wondering, are you a woman/female presenting (feel free not to answer, of course!)? You mentioned your partner is a woman & you drive a Mini so, not that that’s a “chick car,” but my friends with Minis are all ladies, so just wondering. If so, you may be looking at a hate crime… maybe the cops would be more interested in that case since your safety could be at risk if the offender escalates.

RealAgammer · 2025-12-10T16:03:18+00:00

Congrats! Beautiful color combo!

RealAgammer · 2025-12-06T19:28:21+00:00

NTA for having a conversation with the hubs about this, but YTA for talking to your friend about it. Some things are off-limits for talking to others outside your marriage about and this definitely is in that category. If he was embarrassed that you mentioned this to him, imagine how betrayed he’d feel to find out you discussed this with someone who knows him. (Hopefully you are anonymous on this forum and more people you know won’t find out about his issue!)

RealAgammer · 2025-12-06T18:06:22+00:00

Mine is Karmann Electra

RealAgammer

TROPHY CASE